Who to Tip, When to Tip, and How Much to Tip: A Guide to Wedding Vendor Tips

As if thousand dollar cakes, cars and corsages weren’t enough to stress out even the most well-intending budget-minded bride, you also have to worry about rules.

And no, I’m not talking about these rules. Or even these.

I’m talking about who you have tip, when you have to tip and-most importantly-how much you have to tip.

It is downright mind-boggling!

But there is help.

According to TheKnot.com, unless service charges are outlined in your contract, you aren’t obligated to tip. That being said, many vendors appreciate-and secretly expect-a little extra love. So here is your own little mini-guide to wedding vendor tipping to help you understand who to tip, when to tip them and how much to tip!


Optional:

Wedding Planner
Your wedding planner doesn’t expect a tip, however if she went above and beyond her duties, feel free to offer her a token gift and/or offer to write a testimonial for her website or brochures. As the bride, you will have likely spent most of the time with your planner. You can create a specially-crafted thank you card from American Greetings, enclose the check and either hand it to her discreetly at the end of the night or mail it to her following your honeymoon. The standard gift is up to $500.00

Musicians - Ceremony Musicians
This depends on who your musicians are and if you are already paying them to perform at your wedding. Many churches require their organist to be on-site and include their payment in with your rental fees. If this is the case, there is no need to tip. Otherwise, you can tip between $15-20 per musician after the ceremony.

- Reception Musicians, such as DJ or Band
Again, this is an optional group to tip, but if they worked hard to engage your crowd, were easy to meet with before the wedding and pulled your wedding off without a hitch, then feel free to ask the best man to slip them an envelope at the end of the night. The standard is $20-$25 per live musician and up to $100 for the DJ.

Videographers / Photographers
Absolutely not expected, but if you are feeling generous, some people tip photographers and videographers who don’t own the studio between $50-$200 per person at the end of the reception.

Expected:

Officiant
Although this falls into the “expected” category, it really depends on who the officiant is, whether he is affiliated with a church to which you have already made a donation or if you are already paying a nondenominational officiant for his time. The standard tip is $75-$100 per officiant and is usually paid in advance.

Delivery and Set-Up Staff
This group, including anyone who sets up items such as your cake, flowers, tents, chairs, etc gets a tip that ranges from $5-$10 per person. So you don’t have to worry about this on the Big Day, give your catering manager or wedding planner an envelope the day before your wedding and ask her to distribute the tips accordingly.

Hair and Makeup Staff
Just like you do when getting your trim, add in 15%-20% percent of the service and give it to your stylists once you are happy with your look.

Catering Staff
This group, including the on-site coordinator, banquet manager and servers get a tip, however read your fine print … it is often already added to your bill in the form of a service charge. If it isn't, expect to pay 15%-20% of the food and beverage fee, pre-tax. If it is included as a service charge, then you will likely settle this bill a few days before the wedding, otherwise, ask the best man to deliver an envelope to the maitre d’ at the end of the reception.

Transportation
Just like with your catering staff, your driver’s tip is likely included in your transportation rental fee. If not, plan on 15%-20% percent of the final bill and ask the best man to hand it to the driver at the end of the night.

Do you have any other questions about tipping? If so, ask away!

Photo courtesy of jtyerse

More Wedding Stresses Solved!

The other day we discussed those nasty stressors that take so much energy from you during your wedding planning. Here are some more stress points and how to deal them!

• People who expect to be paid and want as much from you as possible.

Dealing with wedding vendors can be a big pain. These are folks who want to make money. It's their job to try and pressure you into purchasing a more expensive option than your wedding budget allows. If you are tempted to accede to their demands, go home and sleep on it.

If it's not in your budget, you have to make sure that they understand it's nothing personal, you just don't have the money. Getting away from them to make the decision and not having to stare into their puppy dog eyes while saying "no" is much easier – and less stressful!

Just tell them: "that's not really in my wedding budget, I'll have to go home and see if I can move some things around and get back to you."

• "And in this corner…"
  

We all have them, those lovely folks – either our parents, relatives or even friends – who are divorced, divorcing, breaking up or just fighting – and they don't want to sit together. My grandmother didn't talk to her husband's cousin for years and at all weddings and such, they had to be separated for the comfort of the other guests.

So you have to take preemptive action. Sit down with them to say: "I'm so glad you're coming to my wedding. I hope you can do me a big favor. You fight so much, and I really want the focus of our wedding to be on love. Do you mind doing everything in your power to be civil just for that one day?" Remember, if they do bicker at your wedding, you'll probably be so caught up in everything else, you won't even notice.

• And what are the the greatest stressors of all? You BOTH are!
  

Weddings are stressful, and the person you will be around the most is soon to be your other half. Too often you hear: "He's not doing anything to help with the wedding" and, "she never talks about anything other than the wedding." Avoid this with some simple planning.

Sit down with a wedding planner (the book, not the person) and divide up the list of tasks into bride's responsibilities, groom's responsibilities, and what you are going to do together. Each of you will know that you have creative control for what's on your list, and what you are responsible for. (That doesn't mean you won't discuss the task, but you will have the responsibility of getting it done.) Post the list in prominent locations in your house(s) and agree to have check-in meetings once a month or so about where you are.

Next, sit down with a calendar. Figure out when you have time to schedule a couple of hours each week to deal with wedding stuff together. A lot of it will be fun - checking out potential venues, eating cake at tastings, and practicing dance moves.

Then schedule a NO WEDDING night. This is perhaps the most important thing to stop you from stressing each other out. One night a week, neither of you are allowed to mention the word wedding or anything wedding-related. This can be a date night, or just a relaxing at home together night to remind you why you're going through all this craziness in the first place!

Soon we will talk about other ways to lessen the stress and increase the fun in planning your wedding!