Three Fresh Alternatives to the Bouquet Toss

How many weddings have you attended where the bride corralled all of her single friends to the dance floor, lined them up like paper dolls and watched as they scrambled madly for a bunch of overpriced flowers that-if they survived this masquerade-would no doubt be dead within the week?

Was that fun for you?


If so, feel free to ignore the rest of this post, but if you are like me and you didn’t enjoy taking out the groom’s six-year-old niece or having that 19-year-old wrestling champ stomp her stiletto into your freshly pedicured toes, then consider one of these three alternatives to the bouquet toss. Your friends will maintain their dignity and you’ll look like the thoughtful, trend-setting bride you know you are!

1. Anniversary Bouquet

I knew I didn’t want a traditional bouquet toss when I got married, but I still wanted to do something with those flowers, so I incorporated the wedding bouquet with the Anniversary Dance.

The Anniversary Dance is when the DJ or band leader invites all married couples to the dance floor. After a few beats, they announce for everyone who has been married less than an hour to step off of the dance floor … (that is you!). He continues to increase the time until there is only one couple left on the floor.

My maternal grandparents “won” my anniversary dance and my grandmother was thrilled when I presented her with my wedding bouquet. In fact, she doesn’t like to show emotions … but a tear or two nearly escaped … nearly … I saw them.


2. Wedding Bouquet Presentation

If you don’t want to have an Anniversary Dance, you can present your wedding bouquet to a special attendant during a short toast or presentation.

Consider giving your bouquet to your mother, grandmother, sister, mother-in-law or special aunt. If you have more than one person you want to recognize, consider having a pull-apart bouquet that you can easily divide among them.

3. Break-Away Bouquet

This idea almost-almost!-won me back over to flower-flinging. Here is how it works.

Instead of having a bouquet that is all nicely tied together, ask your florist to prepare a “break away” bouquet. This is essentially several small bouquets that are lightly tied together to resemble one bridal bouquet. Before the toss, the bride ensures each mini bouquet is separated but continues to hold the bouquet in one hand. When she tosses the flowers, the individual bouquets break away from each other so more than one person can catch the flowers.

If you do this during your wedding reception, you will still have to call your single friends out and some of them will still walk away empty handed. Instead, have a quick get-together with your wedding attendants either post-photo or pre-reception and toss the bouquet to them.

Imagine their surprise when you toss a bouquet that everyone catches. Ask your florist to tie a special note to each bouquet thanking your attendants for their participation in your day, so they will walk away with a bit of your bouquet and a special thank-you note.

I know it will be hard-since you tell your attendants everything-but keep this idea a secret. The surprise will be worth it.

For more alternative ideas to the bouquet toss, read this article by Amber Dusick, author of Do-It-Yourself Weddings Blog.

Are you throwing your bouquet or using an alternative to the toss? Please share in the comments.

Photos courtesy of sotursiops and hbm

Wedding Flowers

Wedding flowers may be as simple or elaborate as your wedding budget allows. If you really want to go for a more economical wedding, you might consider limiting the number of flowers that you use in the bouquets, the ceremony decorations and even at the tables as centerpieces. (Here are some pictures of wedding bouquets of all different types for you to check out. It might help you select the types you want for your wedding.)

Let's face it, flowers are expensive and you may want to spend your wedding budget on things like wedding invitations, food, the wedding dress, or gifts for your wedding attendants. However, you can still incorporate flowers into your wedding design and save money.

I was at a simple wedding a couple of weeks ago where the bride and groom decided that the church was not in need of additional decoration (except for a runner down the aisle). All the bride carried was a small wedding bouquet of six red roses and her attendants carried six white roses each. It was simple, elegant, and not overdone.

One of the things I really liked about the wedding bouquets was that they were manageable and graceful. I mean I've seen some wedding bouquets that are so large that they overwhelm the bride and you could hardly see her wedding dress. These wedding bouquets are as awkward as they are ostentatious and they actually detract from the wedding design rather than enhance it.

The key to using flowers at your ceremony is not to over-decorate. Tasteful, small, well-placed arrangements impress without cluttering or overwhelming the view.

At the wedding reception, instead of having huge centerpieces on each table you can incorporate a number of trends that still use flowers in the wedding design, but aren't as costly. Depending on how many tables and how formal you are going to be, consider small terra cotta pots (or even decorated pots) of flowering plants. Fill small bowls with fruits for color and style. Place a wedding sticker on the terra cotta pot or the bowl with your names, wedding date, and a welcome message to your guests. Surround a candle with a small wreath of flowers in your wedding colors. There are many alternatives to using expensive full centerpieces of only flowers - and they look really nice, too!

If you have your heart set on having flowers, limit your costs by buying in bulk and creating your own flower arrangements. Costco offers a wide variety of flower arrangements and types so that all you have to do is supply the vases and determine where the flowers are going to go. You can get quite a lot for less than $800. In this day and age, that is quite a steal. There are also online vendors who will allow you to purchase the flowers in bulk; then all you have to do is make up the bouquets and centerpieces yourself. Here is one that specializes in wedding flowers, and you can even buy a DIY wedding flower arranging video to help you create your own wedding flower bouquets and arrangements.

Flowers are important to a wedding but if your wedding budget prohibits you from getting a lot of them, improvise and you can still incorporate some into your wedding day!

Who Ya Gonna Call? Wedding Mythbusters!

Weddings are haunted by the myths that have been spread down through the years. Often these tales keep brides and grooms from having their dream weddings since everyone tells them "it's just not done that way." Well, here and in other blogs, we are going to debunk some of those old wives' tales and demystify all that mis-information!

1) Only virgins should wear a white wedding gown.

White wedding gowns only became popular after Queen Victoria wore one in the 1840's. Before that gowns were all sorts of colors - red, blue, even gray. Since white symbolizes different things -- joy, fertility, death, etc. -- in different cultures, it actually may be inappropriate for a bride to wear white!

2) If you don't wear a diamond engagement ring, you aren't really engaged.

Well, that is a myth perpetuated by the diamond industry. You are engaged as soon as you declare your intention to have a wedding and to get married. Although diamonds are beautiful - you don't have to have one. But remember, they are a girl's best friend...!

3) Receiving a wedding invitation means that you are obligated to give a gift, even if you are not attending.

The only time you need to be sure to give a gift is if you are attending the wedding or the wedding reception. The invitation is just that -- a request for you to attend the wedding. If you aren't going, you do not have to send a gift; although there is no rule that says you shouldn't, just to be respectful. A gift also shows a couple your support.

4) The bride's family pays for EVERYTHING.

Once that was true, but now in the 21st century, couples, both families, and even friends, can pay for all or part of the wedding. If the bride's family wants to pay for the wedding, that is still an option.

5) Older brides or second time around (or more) brides can't wear a long wedding gown.

Rubbish. Any bride of any age can wear any gown she chooses. The point of a wedding gown is that it makes the bride feel special and lovely. It accentuates her day in the spotlight. As for a remarriage, if you aren't marrying the same man twice, its still a first marriage for the two of you. So live it up, and wear a long wedding gown.

6) Whoever catches the wedding bouquet keeps it.

Well, once maybe, but with the cost of flowers and such many brides prefer to save the bouquet or have it pressed. Many brides are opting for a smaller bouquet to toss, and that way you don't have to be uncomfortable in asking for it back.

So, ignore these "truths" and go ahead with your wedding plans. Watch wedding shows like "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" or even the infamous "Bridezillas" and see how their planners handle the debunking of all those wedding myths that can interfere with the enjoyment of your wedding. Later we will debunk even more wedding myths!