Planning A Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

The wedding rehearsal dinner is a very important element in the wedding planning process. There are two types of rehearsal dinners - the formal and the informal.

Planning the wedding rehearsal dinner can be stressful on top of all the other wedding planning - especially as the dinner is traditionally held the night before the wedding itself.

Originally the wedding rehearsal dinner was a sit-down affair hosted by the groom's parents. However in these changing times "anything goes", so there are more informal wedding rehearsal dinners hosted by friends, bride's relatives, or even the couple themselves. (My friend Bill and his bride Lynn took all of us on a dinner cruise.)

For all wedding rehearsal dinners, however, there are several guidelines that should be followed.
1) The wedding rehearsal dinner guests include the wedding party, the bride and groom's parents and close relatives. Asking out-of-town wedding guests to the rehearsal dinner will give the bride and groom an extra opportunity to welcome and spend time with them. The wedding rehearsal dinner is a great time for all the guests to get to know each other before the wedding reception.

2) Mail invitations (e-invitations, too) ahead of time so that everyone knows about this event. Even though you are going to be really busy with the wedding, you don't want to leave anyone important out of the rehearsal dinner or there could be hurt feelings that reverberate down through the years. (My grandmother didn't speak to her brother-in-law for 20 years because he forgot to invite my uncle to a rehearsal dinner where he was going to be an usher and reader. She took these things very seriously.)

3) Be sure to serve sparkling drinks (champagne and nonalcoholic versions) for some toasts. Unlike the toasts at the wedding where the time is limited, this is a perfect occasion for the best man and maid-of-honor to toast the couple in anticipation of their other toasts the next day.

It is also where the bride and groom can toast their parents to thank them and each other’s parents in appreciation of the joining of their families. Others may join in - and it could be a rollicking good time as stories of the bride and groom are shared.

4) Since the wedding is the next day, (and hopefully the bachelor and bachelorette parties are dim memories) control the consumption of alcohol, whether the party is formal or informal. Start with the champagne toast and surreptitiously switch to nonalcoholic drinks during the evening. Have each guest's wineglass marked with a wineglass tag after the first drink, so that you know that alcohol was served. This way you can switch to the nonalcoholic sparkling wine. Above all you need to make it your goal to get them "to the church on time" – and relatively sober.

Another time, we will go into more detail regarding how to host an all-out formal elegant sit-down wedding rehearsal dinner or an informal bash that is unique and fun!

Who ya gonna call - bridesmaids!

Let's say you have decided where and when you are getting married. That's excellent! Now you need to move on to the next step: the wedding party.

One of the first things you need to do is determine your bridal party attendants. Set the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen (or ushers) you are going to need. You probably have a pretty good idea as to whom you are going to select as Maid/Matron of Honor (MOH) and Best Man, but you need to determine how many other wedding attendants you require as well.

For example, I've been in a semi-formal wedding that had only a MOH. I also was in a wedding where there were two other bridesmaids. This seemed like a good size for a small formal wedding and we were all available in the same town to help with the planning and activities. Other brides choose to have HUGE wedding parties with all their BFFs and female family members and end up having 7 or 8 (or more!) bridesmaids.

For the most part, a well-composed bridal party can assist in many tasks leading up to the wedding. The MOH traditionally plans the bridal shower, and (in my family anyway) is assisted by the other bridesmaids and family members. Bridesmaids and groomsmen can assist in sending out invitations, recording RSVP's, choosing dresses and tuxedos or other attire.

So after you've decided who you want in your wedding, and before you select dresses, you need to consider:

1) How many bridesmaids do you want to have? Are you sure?
2) How many groomsmen to stand with the groom at the ceremony?
a. Also, do you need ushers who will seat the guests and are not part of the ceremony itself?
3) Will your asking a friend to be in the wedding party be a financial burden?
a. Can the friend afford to buy a dress or rent a tux?
b. Will there be excessive travel costs?
c. Can the friend be integral to the events and choices made?

Once you have decided all these factors, go ahead and set the bridal party. Then you can meet with all of them and discuss what you expect for your special day. And who knows? Maybe you will like some of their ideas!