How to Host the Perfect Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

Since we have discussed the issue of holding a ceremony rehearsal and decided you do, in fact, need one - let’s move on to the fun stuff.

Historically the groom’s parents footed the bill for this post-wedding rehearsal meal, but since modern-day brides are tossing tradition to the wind-this is changing, too. As if the bride doesn’t have enough stress before the Big Day, she also has to weigh in on the Rehearsal Dinner... and if you are anything like me-you want that to be perfect.

Here are four tips to help you host the perfect rehearsal dinner.


Tip 1: Have Fun With It!
I’ve read that your rehearsal dinner and wedding reception should have a similar style and formality level - for example, if your wedding is ultra chic and formal, then your rehearsal dinner should set the stage by being more or less the same style. On some level I get that. On every other level-I think it is crap.

Think about it. If your rehearsal dinner is a miniature version of your wedding reception, how bored will your guests be on Day 2? And THAT is the Big Day. That is the important event. That is when you want everyone to step back and say “Wow!”

Instead, I say you should have fun with your rehearsal dinner.

My wedding was semi-formal and incorporated many aspects of my husband’s Italian heritage. We had guests coming to Texas from across the country-and Italy!-and wanted to share our culture with them. So, we hosted a Texas-style BBQ, complete with a line dance instructor and galvanized buckets of beer. It was a blast, the wedding party bonded and we really set the mood for the following day.

Tip #2: Plan with Care
Put the same attention to detail in your wedding rehearsal dinner that you put into your wedding. Be sure to create invitations and tell your guests how to dress. You will also want to plan time to formally speak to your guests, offer gifts to your wedding party and/or publicly thank your parents for their help. Shy away from serving too much alcohol. You want everyone looking fresh for your wedding.

Tip 2: Be Courteous
As I am sure you have been doing throughout your wedding planning process, remember to be courteous and think of your guests when planning your rehearsal dinner. In addition to your wedding party, officiant and immediate family members, consider inviting all out of town guests and other close family members who aren’t in the wedding. For example, my aunts were an enormous help to me throughout my planning and I thought it would be nice to include them in pre-wedding events.

Tip 3: Location Matters
Choose a restaurant that is close to your rehearsal location. You don’t want you-or your guests-to be forced to drive an hour for dinner, then drive another hour-or more-to get home. It isn’t gracious and your friends could resent it. You certainly don’t want those negative mood vibes carrying over to your wedding day.

Tip 4: Give it a Test Run
Okay. I know rehearsing your rehearsal just sounds silly but eat at the rehearsal dinner restaurant before the event and make sure you are on the same page with them. The worst mistake brides make when it comes to planning their rehearsal dinner is not taking it seriously enough. Be professional with your rehearsal dinner vendors and make sure they know your expectations.

The rehearsal dinner can be one of the most lighthearted aspects of your wedding weekend. Everyone should be in good spirits and you can relax with your closest friends before the stress of the wedding day hits. The rehearsal dinner truly sets the scene for the rest of your wedding, so take time to plan it with care, pay attention to details and give it the respect it deserves.

You’ll be glad you did.

What have you planned for your rehearsal dinner?

Photo courtesy of herzogbr

Planning A Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

The wedding rehearsal dinner is a very important element in the wedding planning process. There are two types of rehearsal dinners - the formal and the informal.

Planning the wedding rehearsal dinner can be stressful on top of all the other wedding planning - especially as the dinner is traditionally held the night before the wedding itself.

Originally the wedding rehearsal dinner was a sit-down affair hosted by the groom's parents. However in these changing times "anything goes", so there are more informal wedding rehearsal dinners hosted by friends, bride's relatives, or even the couple themselves. (My friend Bill and his bride Lynn took all of us on a dinner cruise.)

For all wedding rehearsal dinners, however, there are several guidelines that should be followed.
1) The wedding rehearsal dinner guests include the wedding party, the bride and groom's parents and close relatives. Asking out-of-town wedding guests to the rehearsal dinner will give the bride and groom an extra opportunity to welcome and spend time with them. The wedding rehearsal dinner is a great time for all the guests to get to know each other before the wedding reception.

2) Mail invitations (e-invitations, too) ahead of time so that everyone knows about this event. Even though you are going to be really busy with the wedding, you don't want to leave anyone important out of the rehearsal dinner or there could be hurt feelings that reverberate down through the years. (My grandmother didn't speak to her brother-in-law for 20 years because he forgot to invite my uncle to a rehearsal dinner where he was going to be an usher and reader. She took these things very seriously.)

3) Be sure to serve sparkling drinks (champagne and nonalcoholic versions) for some toasts. Unlike the toasts at the wedding where the time is limited, this is a perfect occasion for the best man and maid-of-honor to toast the couple in anticipation of their other toasts the next day.

It is also where the bride and groom can toast their parents to thank them and each other’s parents in appreciation of the joining of their families. Others may join in - and it could be a rollicking good time as stories of the bride and groom are shared.

4) Since the wedding is the next day, (and hopefully the bachelor and bachelorette parties are dim memories) control the consumption of alcohol, whether the party is formal or informal. Start with the champagne toast and surreptitiously switch to nonalcoholic drinks during the evening. Have each guest's wineglass marked with a wineglass tag after the first drink, so that you know that alcohol was served. This way you can switch to the nonalcoholic sparkling wine. Above all you need to make it your goal to get them "to the church on time" – and relatively sober.

Another time, we will go into more detail regarding how to host an all-out formal elegant sit-down wedding rehearsal dinner or an informal bash that is unique and fun!