Five Ways to Stay Focused and Excited for Your Wedding

Although planning your wedding is one of the most exciting times of your life, it has no doubt brought with it a little stress, a few more sleepless nights and one-or three-stress-induced headaches. Some days are glowing. You find a knock-out vendor within your budget, your dress fits like a glove and your bridesmaids are all getting along perfectly. Other days it is hard to get going.

I remember there were times throughout my 17-month engagement that my mother asked me if I was still getting married.

“You haven’t mentioned in weeks,” she said nervously.

It was because I had bridal burnout. But it doesn’t have to happen to you.

Here are five ways to stay focused, motivated and excited for your Wedding Day.

1. Don’t overdo it -at first, I mean. Most brides are thrilled to get engaged and want to jump feet first into wedding planning mayhem … but try to avoid this pitfall. Think of your wedding as a marathon (assuming you have more than six months to plan it … otherwise, that baby is a sprint and you don’t have time to lose focus).

Just like any successful marathon runner will tell you, you need to train hard (by being organized and informed) and set your pace. The same goes with planning your wedding.

2. Organization rules. (It really does! But what I mean here is to follow the rules of organization.) It makes sense that if you are organized with your wedding binder, you know your budget and-most importantly-you’ve given yourself enough time to plan your wedding, that things will fall into place. Although I definitely went through wedding planning dry-spells, I was lucky because I’d allowed almost a year and half to plan the event. I had that time to spare. If you plan your wedding far enough in advance, you don’t have to rush to the finish line … you can make a few pit stops along the way.

3. Get inspired. Download a theme-appropriate screen saver from American Greetings or create your own using a picture of your bridal gown, your engagement photos or a group shot of you and your bridesmaids. Seeing your wedding vision on a daily basis will help you keep track of your goals.

4. Divide and conquer. If you find yourself getting low on time, divide your to-do list into more manageable chunks. I created a one-page calendar for each of the three months leading up to my wedding. On the back of each month, I wrote a list of what I had to accomplish each of the four or five weeks in that month. It was comforting to look at one week at a time and it was rewarding to mark things off of the list.

5. Keep quiet. If you are really feeling the pressure, designate one day, a weekend or a full week (depending on how long you have before your wedding) as “NO WEDDING TALK” time.

Don’t check your wedding-related emails (unless an important vendor is at stake), don’t look through magazines or websites and don’t discuss the wedding at all. It is much like taking a break from work. If your wedding planning is starting to lose its zest, then step back and take a breather. You’ll return refreshed and ready to tackle the next thing on your list.

Has wedding planning stress affected you yet? What did you do to combat it?

Six Ways to Relieve Pre-Wedding Planning Stress

You might have been planning this day since you were a child. You have always known you wanted a bouquet of brightly-hued tulips, a princess-style dress and your best friend - your only sister - standing by your side. The band or DJ debate was easy for you and you have said “Yes,” to *the* most perfect man walking the earth.

But still …

In the midst of all of your wedding planning glory, your glamorous dress-fittings and frivolous shoe-shopping it will hit you.

I’m talking about stress. Pre-wedding stress. The kind that strikes when you least expect it and appears in the form of uncontrollable crying, irrational outbursts, over-eating, under-eating or sleepless nights.

The wedding planning stress struck me in an unusual way. I was okay with the florists’ exuberant quotes, I dealt with fickle venue managers … but you know what got me?

The priest. The irony was not lost.

If it hasn’t hit you yet - you are lucky... and if it has, don’t worry. Help is on the way. Here are six ways you can de-stress during your wedding planning.


Basic stress management techniques include:

1. Get enough sleep.
You should aim to sleep at least eight hours every night while you are planning your wedding. You will need your energy for bargaining with vendors.

2. Get moving.
I know you are busy and the idea of adding another half hour to your fully-scheduled day seems impossible. If you can’t add a regular exercise routine to your schedule, then at least take the stairs, walk to your colleagues' desks instead of instant messaging and park your car farther away.

3. Eat well.
Depending on your wedding weight goals, you may already be controlling your sugar intake and eating more vegetables. For what it's worth, I’ve never been a proponent of stressful pre-wedding diets, but either way you should eat balanced meals and avoid drinking too much alcohol. Alcohol disturbs your sleep patterns, thus working against Tip #1.

In addition to the basic catch-all stress management techniques, here are three wedding-specific ideas to help you beat your stress.

4. Hit the Town
The Brit’s call it Hen Night, the Americans call it a Bachelorette Party but what I’m talking about is a good ole’ fashioned Girls Night. Invite your girls to join you for a night out on the town. If drinking and dancing isn’t your thing, then head to a local coffee house, park or mall. The idea is to get away from your wedding for one whole day. Make a commitment not to talk about-and try not to think about-your wedding the whole day and/or night. You will wake up refreshed and ready to get back to work.

5. Get in the Groove
… your groove, that is. You probably have a sure-fire relaxation technique you’ve used over the years (you just might not realize it!) To find your groove, think back over the years to your most stressful times and what you did to overcome them. Although I’m not much of an outdoors exercise person, my beat-all stress-busting technique is to head outdoors with my MP3 player and jog or walk as fast as I can. Burning the extra energy always helps me relax and I return to my tasks with a clear head and better attitude.

6. Talk to Your Fiance
Feelings of stress and light anxiety are perfectly normal. You are not only anxious about the outcome of your Big Day, but the significance and longevity of a “forever” commitment can be stressful. Talk to your partner throughout the wedding planning to ensure you are still on the same page. This does not give you the green light to monopolize conversations with flower selections or cake flavors-it is just a reminder for you to occasionally check-in. Knowing you and your partner have similar ideas, goals and expectations for your future will help keep your stress at bay.

What other stress relieving tips do you have for other brides-to-be?

Photos couresty of madalena-pestana and Geff Rossi

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff!

Whenever you are feeling stressed frustrated and overwhelmed by all the wedding planning and preparations, step back, take a deep breath and reassess. Wedding stress can take the joy out of everything!

Do you really think anyone but you will care if the wedding programs aren't folded perfectly, or that the font Times Roman and not Century Schoolhouse was used? Who will even notice that the bridesmaids wore different styles of shoes? Does it really matter if your wedding bouquet has five lilies instead of six? Who is going to notice if the you had a printable wedding invitation on handmade paper rather than ones that were letter pressed?

Don't let the pressure of trying to create a "perfect wedding" drive you into an early grave. Your wedding day is a celebration of the love the you and your fiancee share for each other, and a way to share that love with those you care for and who care about you. If you are seeing your wedding as a chore because planning is such a miserable experience, then you really have to rethink your process. Here is a site with checklists and other wedding aids to help you simplify. You can even get your own wedding planner from PhotoWorks to help you through the process.

You want your happiest wedding day memories to be of the adoring look on his face as you walk down the aisle, and of the happy, friendly wedding reception where you all celebrate your new marriage in joy. You don't want the happiest memory of your wedding to be relief that it is finally over!

I vividly recall a wedding I attended as a child. It was 95 degrees and really humid. A huge storm system had dropped several inches of rain the day before the wedding and everything was wet. The air-conditioning of the church was non-existent and two bridesmaids and a groomsman passed out from the heat. At the wedding reception, held in the bride's family backyard, the ground was so soaked that the chairs were sinking into the earth whenever anyone sat down. It was a race between which would melt first - the ice sculpture or the wedding cake.

And yet, the wedding couple was happy and smiling. All the guests took their cues from them. Because they were calm and unstressed, the guests remained calm and happy. What could have been a disastrous afternoon turned out to be fun and actually frivolous as everyone took off their shoes and tramped around in the mud, eating, drinking, and even dancing in bare feet. Twenty years later and that marriage is still going strong and whenever we are together, we all recall what a wedding it was! There was no wedding stress at that wedding - and everything that could go wrong did go wrong!

Make your wedding what you, as the wedding couple, want it to be! Don't sweat the small stuff. Whether you are having an elaborate traditional wedding, an at-home informal wedding reception or a destination wedding, the most important thing to remember is that you are getting married to the person you love and everything else is secondary.

More Wedding Stresses Solved!

The other day we discussed those nasty stressors that take so much energy from you during your wedding planning. Here are some more stress points and how to deal them!

• People who expect to be paid and want as much from you as possible.

Dealing with wedding vendors can be a big pain. These are folks who want to make money. It's their job to try and pressure you into purchasing a more expensive option than your wedding budget allows. If you are tempted to accede to their demands, go home and sleep on it.

If it's not in your budget, you have to make sure that they understand it's nothing personal, you just don't have the money. Getting away from them to make the decision and not having to stare into their puppy dog eyes while saying "no" is much easier – and less stressful!

Just tell them: "that's not really in my wedding budget, I'll have to go home and see if I can move some things around and get back to you."

• "And in this corner…"
  

We all have them, those lovely folks – either our parents, relatives or even friends – who are divorced, divorcing, breaking up or just fighting – and they don't want to sit together. My grandmother didn't talk to her husband's cousin for years and at all weddings and such, they had to be separated for the comfort of the other guests.

So you have to take preemptive action. Sit down with them to say: "I'm so glad you're coming to my wedding. I hope you can do me a big favor. You fight so much, and I really want the focus of our wedding to be on love. Do you mind doing everything in your power to be civil just for that one day?" Remember, if they do bicker at your wedding, you'll probably be so caught up in everything else, you won't even notice.

• And what are the the greatest stressors of all? You BOTH are!
  

Weddings are stressful, and the person you will be around the most is soon to be your other half. Too often you hear: "He's not doing anything to help with the wedding" and, "she never talks about anything other than the wedding." Avoid this with some simple planning.

Sit down with a wedding planner (the book, not the person) and divide up the list of tasks into bride's responsibilities, groom's responsibilities, and what you are going to do together. Each of you will know that you have creative control for what's on your list, and what you are responsible for. (That doesn't mean you won't discuss the task, but you will have the responsibility of getting it done.) Post the list in prominent locations in your house(s) and agree to have check-in meetings once a month or so about where you are.

Next, sit down with a calendar. Figure out when you have time to schedule a couple of hours each week to deal with wedding stuff together. A lot of it will be fun - checking out potential venues, eating cake at tastings, and practicing dance moves.

Then schedule a NO WEDDING night. This is perhaps the most important thing to stop you from stressing each other out. One night a week, neither of you are allowed to mention the word wedding or anything wedding-related. This can be a date night, or just a relaxing at home together night to remind you why you're going through all this craziness in the first place!

Soon we will talk about other ways to lessen the stress and increase the fun in planning your wedding!