Extra Events for Your Destination Wedding

Last week we hit on Destination Wedding Dos and Don’ts and I promised to give you the scoop on all the fun, extra wedding events you could host.

And trust me … there are a lot.

From bachelor parties to vineyard tours and everything in between, your destination wedding can easily turn into a destination weekend - and why shouldn’t it? You deserve it.

Not sure if you should include extra events, or even which events to choose? Don’t worry. I’ll help.

The number and types of events you host depend on several factors. Ask yourself the following questions to help you get started.

- How many days do you expect your guests to be at your wedding destination?

- How many guests are you expecting to attend?

- How big is your budget?

Now, here is a rundown on the most traditional destination wedding events.


Welcome Party
A welcome party is held on the evening that the majority of your guests arrive at the wedding destination. This can be something simple, like cocktails and appetizers or elaborate like a Polynesian Luau. If you want this type of event, talk to your wedding planner and ask about venues other than your wedding reception location. If you are getting married in Italy, ask if there is a vineyard or villa nearby that hosts events and have your welcome party there. You don’t want your guests to be tired of your wedding before the Big Day arrives.

Bachelor/Bachelorette Party
If time permits, couples can choose to have their bachelor and bachelorette parties at their wedding destination. Just be sure you don’t host this event the night before the wedding and ensure there is responsible transportation for everyone.


Spa Day
Many brides like to host a bridal luncheon or spa day before their wedding-and destination weddings are no exception! Ask your hotel for spa specials and ask them to deliver lunch to the spa for you and your girls.

Area Tours
If you are getting married in a destination that is known for a particular attraction, then consider hosting a group tour of that location. For example, if you are getting married in San Francisco, consider hosting a tour of Alcatraz, if you are getting married in Guatemala, consider hosting a tour to the ruins at Tikal ... you get the idea.

Rehearsal Dinner
In my opinion, this is the only pre-wedding event you should invite your guests to attend. If you can’t afford a big dinner for everyone, then go a less-expensive route or talk to your wedding planner for other options. If you absolutely can’t afford dinner for all of your guests, then host your rehearsal dinner for your wedding party and family members and invite everyone else to join you at a pre-set time for drinks or dessert.


Morning-After Brunch
Since you will likely stay in or near your wedding destination for your honeymoon, consider hosting a morning-after brunch for your guests. Everyone will enjoy discussing your fabulous wedding, talking about your new “Mrs.” status and sharing pictures from their digital cameras.

It is important to note that no destination wedding should include all of these events … that is wedding-overkill for you and your guests. Choose the events that best fit with your idea of a perfect destination wedding-and budget-and your guests will be grateful.

Also keep in mind that you should foot the bill for any event you invite your guests to attend. You can (and should) create a special package of information on restaurants, bars and attractions in the area you guests can visit on their own. You aren’t responsible for paying for this.

Are you having a destination wedding? Which events are you going to include?

Photos courtesy of voxphoto, thomaswanhoff and terralynne

Destination Wedding: Dos and Don’ts

With the cost of traditional weddings reaching the $25,000 mark, more couples are opting to head out of town and tie the knot in the romantic destination they’ve always dreamed of visiting. And I don’t blame them. There are a ton of reasons to move your wedding outside of your city limits and get married among the exotic backdrop of lush rain forests and azure waters.

Just be sure you know what you are getting yourself into, read the web for enlightening tips and destination wedding details.

To get you started, here are seven destination wedding dos and don’ts.



Dos

- Do ... try to get all of your most special people on board.
Even though I adamantly proclaim that major wedding decisions should be made by the bride and groom, it is important that the couple’s most cherished family members and friends are considered when planning a destination wedding. If a bride would love to get married in Maui, but doesn’t think her 85-year-old grandmother can make the trip, then she has to choose her priority. Likewise, if the groom can’t imagine getting married without his younger brother-who just lost his job and is feeling the financial crunch-then he should be cautious of asking his brother to travel to Europe for his nuptials. Remember, it *is* your wedding day, but you will likely be happier in the end if you have your closest family and friends near you.

- Do ... think of your guests
Be sure to book hotel blocks-with discounts!-for your guests and plan some events for them during the weekend. There will be more information on planning these add-on events in the coming weeks, so stay tuned here for more information and creative ideas.

- Do ... know the legalities before you go too far
Ever dreamed of getting married in front of the Eiffel Tower? Well … good luck with that. It is almost impossible for non-French folks to tie the knot in France. England requires a seven-day residency before getting a marriage certificate and Mexico requires local chest x-rays and blood work. Be sure you know the legal nitty-gritty before you get too deep into your planning and run the risk of a last-minute wedding mishap.

- Do ... consider hiring a wedding planner
Although my wedding planning pals would attack me for this, I normally recommend cutting your budget by not hiring a wedding planner. However, destination weddings are a whole new game. A good wedding planner can be worth her weight in wedding cake so consider hiring a planner to help with at least some of your wedding planning duties.


Don’ts

- Don't ... expect everyone to attend your wedding
Even the most affordable destinations can be a financial inconvenience on your guests. Realize that everyone can’t afford airfare, hotel or extra meals out and be a gracious, understanding bride when someone declines.

- Don't ... wait until the last minute to tell your guests
Save –the-dates are becoming increasingly popular in the United States for traditional weddings, but should always-always!-be sent for a destination wedding. If you can’t afford to mail expensive save-the-date cards, then send an e-card save-the-date. The idea is to make sure all of your guests know they are invited to your out-of-town shindig in plenty of time to make arrangements.

- Don't ... forget to dress for the occasion
If you are getting married on the soft white sands of the Mediterranean, rethink those 3-inch heels. Be sure to ask your wedding planner or resort coordinator if there are any other limitations you need to know of as you select your dress, shoes and other attire for your groom and wedding party.

Did you have a destination wedding? Do you have any other dos and don’ts to share?

Photos courtesy of mark sebastian and gewel maker

More Wedding Trends in a Tough Economy

More wedding trends happening in this economic slowdown, according to “ The Wedding Report:”

Outdoor weddings are very popular.

Holding your wedding outdoors (weather permitting of course) is a good way to economize. (Here is a good site to help you organize this.) Having it in a large backyard, a park or even the grounds of a museum are often less costly than a paying for a traditional church and secondary location, such as a hotel, country club or banquet hall. This means that you have a shorter reception, usually in off-peak hours. Since you are having ceremony and wedding reception at the same location, you can also take advantage of the all-inclusive wedding packages that many caterers and vendors offer.

Wedding couples prefer buffet reception dinners to sit‐down meals

Sit down dinners are extremely expensive. These usually cost more than $35 per person whereas a buffet can equal out to about $7-$15 per person. You also seem to have more choices as to the kinds of foods served and the side dishes.

There are other options, such as food stations, appetizers, and desserts-only. I went to a wedding recently where the wedding couple’s family had provided an entire table of desserts and pastries for a crowd of 250 people, along with a small wedding cake. (Here is a site that will help you set your wedding budget so you can determine what you are going to pay for food)

Amateurs (friends or family members) more often do the photography.

With the rise of digital cameras wedding couples have the option to request that several members of their family (or friends) take all their photos. Sites like PhotoWorks can provide elegant wedding photo books and prints so that wedding couples having family/friends take the pictures can still have professional-looking results. Plus you get photo books that are put together with their favorite pictures from a number of different sources. Those who are hiring professionals are settling on smaller packages and supplementing their pictures with table disposable digital cameras and fewer set portraits.

Brides are spending less on wedding gowns.

One of the most expensive items a bride can purchase is her wedding gown. Unless she has unlimited funds available, many brides are also seeking vintage or second-hand wedding gowns. (A good article on how to find these types of wedding dresses is located at this site.)

Hugely decorated ball gown styles are being replaced in many cases with simpler color accented informal gowns that provide a narrower silhouette. Brides are buying wedding and bridesmaids' dresses online, from discounted wedding gown sites, and even from overseas. (This has precipitated a rise in alterations to make the wedding gowns fit better, but someone had to benefit from this trend.)

Also many brides, instead of hermetically sealing the wedding gown away are reselling their wedding gowns on places like eBay. (There is even a site dedicated to this located here!) In some cases, brides are purchasing their wedding gowns and bridesmaids gowns as a package so that there is a price break.

Destination weddings are becoming more popular.

While these all-inclusive destination wedding packages at different resorts have been popular for quite some time, wedding couples are seeking destinations closer to where they live as their option for wedding and honeymoon packages. Fewer people are being asked to accompany the couple and since they will be paying their own way to the wedding, including travel and accommodations, the actual cost of the wedding will be decreased accordingly.

As more trends develop over the next several months, the Wedding Report (and I) will be here to let you know about them as you plan your wedding in these bleak economic times.

Planning the Destination Wedding of Your Dreams

Planning a destination wedding is often much simpler than a traditional one however, there are some key steps you have to follow to make sure this wedding meets all your expectations.

1) Search the Internet, libraries, and travel agencies to determine where you want to have your wedding. You have the whole world from which to choose, but remember exotic distant locales can be cost-prohibitive and prove difficult for people to attend. You may be able to have your wedding somewhere closer to home and yet still maintain that exotic aura you are seeking!

Some popular places that cater to destination weddings are:
· Hawaii
· Mexican resorts
· Las Vegas
· Europe
· Bali
· The Caribbean
· California

2) Make certain you know and understand what legalities are involved if you marry outside the United States (even if you are both U.S. citizens – and don’t even get me started if one of you is from another country!)

When my cousins decided on a destination wedding in Punta Cana, Mexico, they got past all the issues of the marriage license, health exams, and blood tests in a foreign country by getting their license at home and being married in a quick civil ceremony by a judge so that their marriage was legal in the U.S.

3) Hire a wedding planner/consultant who specializes in destination weddings. Many websites, such as The Wedding Experience, as well as local travel or wedding planners can assist you in making all the right choices. The advantage to having this person is that the bride and groom don’t have to handle all the little details and a wedding consultant specializing in destination weddings has all the right contacts at the different locations. He or she even has access to a number of packages that will supply:

a. Hotel rooms at a group rate
b. Airfare specials
c. Ceremony sites
d. Cake and reception packages, champagne toasts, etc.
e. Excursion activities

4) Email all your prospective guests a Save the Date announcement with all details including the date, destination, and package amenities at least 4-6 months in advance of the wedding. They need to make travel plans if they can come (or enough time to notify you well before the event that they are not able to make it).

A nice gesture is to email all the guests before you finalize the date and offer them a couple of different days. Survey them: ask which day is better for them if you want to ensure they can come for the destination wedding week or weekend. One you have handled these matters, then you and your destination wedding team can set up a website for your guests to check on the plans.

You can also discuss all the amenities you are seeking and can afford, and you can let your planner follow your instructions to make this the most amazing day of your life.

The Destination Wedding -- It's Not Eloping Anymore!

As the bridal couple, your goal is to make your wedding day a unique, memorable experience. You want to do this without all the bother and stress that a traditional wedding places on you, your families, and friends. You want to exchange your vows in a spectacular setting that fulfills your wildest dreams.

What you want is a destination wedding.

Destination weddings are a growing option for brides and grooms who desire something out of the ordinary and yet significantly their own. These weddings can be as simple as a sunset ceremony barefoot on a beach, with only a couple of attendants, or they can be elaborate as the Eva Longoria wedding in France.

Aside from those multi-million-dollar Hollywood shows, most destination weddings are cost-effective and less expensive than the full-blown affairs at home. And they can be a more relaxing and pleasant experience for all involved. You can even send wedding invitations or save-the-dates via email and save more time and money!

Planning a traditional wedding is time consuming and difficult, because there are multiple factions – parents, friends, caterers, wedding planners, casual acquaintances, florists, and a host of vendors – that have to be consulted, and often appeased. It is not only expensive as far as funds are concerned, but it also has an emotional toll on the couple as well. Some couples thrive on this activity while others find it more taxing than an IRS audit.

In the old days, the couple would often elope to avoid all the problems associated with planning a wedding. They would opt for eloping for a Las Vegas wedding, or running off to a Justice of the Peace if one were available.

My parents actually eloped to avoid all the hassle that their mothers were causing them in the constant arguments over every little detail of the wedding. My grandfather gave them money and his blessing to go to Cincinnati with my uncle as witness to “get it over with.” By the time they returned on Sunday, the mothers had already had their wind taken out of their sails and several months later the parents all threw a party for the couple. However, my grandmother never let my Mom off the hook about eloping.

The “stigma” of eloping in the middle of the night has now given way to families and friends actually encouraging a destination wedding. In many cases, the families and special guests are in different locations so they would have to travel anyway to the wedding venue, so why not have the wedding where a mini-vacation can be enjoyed by all?

In fact, many couples party with their families and friends for a few days at the destination wedding site prior to the actual ceremony and small reception that culminates either a long weekend or week. Then the guests go home and the couple honeymoon for a while longer before returning to their new life together.

Who ya gonna call - bridesmaids!

Let's say you have decided where and when you are getting married. That's excellent! Now you need to move on to the next step: the wedding party.

One of the first things you need to do is determine your bridal party attendants. Set the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen (or ushers) you are going to need. You probably have a pretty good idea as to whom you are going to select as Maid/Matron of Honor (MOH) and Best Man, but you need to determine how many other wedding attendants you require as well.

For example, I've been in a semi-formal wedding that had only a MOH. I also was in a wedding where there were two other bridesmaids. This seemed like a good size for a small formal wedding and we were all available in the same town to help with the planning and activities. Other brides choose to have HUGE wedding parties with all their BFFs and female family members and end up having 7 or 8 (or more!) bridesmaids.

For the most part, a well-composed bridal party can assist in many tasks leading up to the wedding. The MOH traditionally plans the bridal shower, and (in my family anyway) is assisted by the other bridesmaids and family members. Bridesmaids and groomsmen can assist in sending out invitations, recording RSVP's, choosing dresses and tuxedos or other attire.

So after you've decided who you want in your wedding, and before you select dresses, you need to consider:

1) How many bridesmaids do you want to have? Are you sure?
2) How many groomsmen to stand with the groom at the ceremony?
a. Also, do you need ushers who will seat the guests and are not part of the ceremony itself?
3) Will your asking a friend to be in the wedding party be a financial burden?
a. Can the friend afford to buy a dress or rent a tux?
b. Will there be excessive travel costs?
c. Can the friend be integral to the events and choices made?

Once you have decided all these factors, go ahead and set the bridal party. Then you can meet with all of them and discuss what you expect for your special day. And who knows? Maybe you will like some of their ideas!

Pre-Planner Planning

Weddings are huge events – even the smallest of them – that take a lot of organizing and expert precision. I once heard a mother-of-the-bride describe a wedding as a military operation with wedding favors and not bullets. (Not sure if we need to go that far...)

One of the things I want to do is examine how you make this important day manageable and exciting.

TV networks have shows that tout “Whose Wedding is it Anyway?" Or who can forget “Bridezilla?” Wedding planning has become big business and wedding planners persuade unsuspecting couples into lavish extravaganzas that are often budget-busters. I know it is a secret dream of every girl to have a Princess Diana wedding, but for many, that is totally out of the question!

If you are going to hire a wedding planner, it is important to have an idea of what you want to do, how much you want to spend and a general concept of the atmosphere you want to convey to your guests.


Now even before you sit down to figure out the budget for your special day, you have to get organized. There are a number of areas you have to consider even before you discuss it with a planner.

I suggest that you have some wedding ideas in mind before you and the parents (if they are helping defray the costs) sit down and brainstorm just the type and style of wedding you want to have.

Before we talk about a checklist (that will be in a later blog), let’s talk about some generalities:

Ø When do you want to get married? What time of year?
If you want to get married in the winter, you will have to take into account severe weather conditions if you live in a snowy region, or rain in other parts of the country. In the summer, you need to consider severe heat and nature's other furies if you plan to wed outside.


Ø Where do you want to get married?
Do you want to do a destination wedding? Are you interested in a Las Vegas wedding, replete with Elvis impersonators? Do you want a huge church wedding, a wedding chapel or a garden wedding at home?

Once you have decided on these general questions, you are also going to have to consider:

• costs
• attendants
• wedding dresses
• wedding decorations
• wedding favors
• a whole raft of other topic areas!

We will consider all of these and how to best incorporate them into your grand scheme in posts to come.