Make Her Say YES! Ask Your Bridesmaids with Style

We've spent a lot of time talking about the wedding party ... who to ask, who not to ask and what they should wear. All important topics, I must say.

But let's back up just a tad and think about how you can ask them.

Although many girls would take out their youngest cousin's 12-year-old daughter to be a bridesmaid, it is a tough job. If you have been a bridesmaid - you know that.

Bridesmaid 101 lists almost two dozen job responsibilities and ClassyWeddingFavors.Com says bridesmaids should expect to dish out up to $200 for the shower alone. Eek.

For this reason, I suggest brides pamper their maids every chance they get ... starting with Day One.

Instead of picking up the phone or swinging by your friend's house after work, consider throwing a cocktail party, girls' night or lunch date and invite all of your potential bridesmaids to join your wedding party at one time.

American Greetings has a wide selection of e-vites to set the tone. Choose a theme, either wedding-related or something that relates to all of your friends. For example, if you and your potential attendants love reading books and hanging out at Starbucks, choose a cafe-related e-vite and ask them to meet you at your favorite coffee house for lattes.

Here are a few other party themes that could help you pop the question.

- Martini Madness
Choose an e-vite decorated with martini glasses and use colors such as dark green, maroon and brown. Invite your potential bridesmaids over for a night of Sex in the City reruns and cosmos. Make a toast for them proclaiming how much they mean to you and ask them to be in your wedding party.

- Mexican Fiesta
Send a Mexican-flavored e-vite and ask your friends to join you for lunch at your favorite Mexican restaurant. Hand write a note for each girl and ask the waiter to deliver it, along with her favorite dessert (that you have pre-ordered) at the end of the meal. Who could say no to that?

- Girls Gone Goofy
Invite your potential attendants to a pre-bachelorette party bash by choosing a girls' night-themed e-vite. Ask them to meet at your house for dinner or appetizers before you hit the town. When they have all arrived, let them know how much their friendship has meant to you and tell them that there is no one you'd rather stand by your side when you say "I do," than them. Celebrate by going out dancing, to a karaoke bar or to your favorite pub.

Since you know how much work is involved and how expensive things could get for your bridesmaids, be sure to tell them they don't have to answer you right away. I suggest for you to insist they think about it for a few days before giving you an answer. You don't want one of your potential bridesmaids to get caught up in the moment and say "yes," only to tell you a few weeks later that she can't afford it.

Pamper your bridesmaids from the start and they are sure to repay the favor every chance they get.

Have you already asked your bridesmaids to be in your wedding party? Did you do something special for them? If so, what did you do?

Photos courtesy of Saquan Stimpson and Adam

Wedding Events - The Bridesmaids' Party

If you think about it, your Maid of Honor and all your bridesmaids' have been putting up with all your brouhaha about the wedding - temper tantrums, having to buy dresses they may never wear again, and coping with all your stress. Now is the time for you to do something nice for them!

Host a bridesmaids party! This is one party that you, as the bride, need to plan and host yourself. Invite the bridesmaids to a pre-wedding bash that is just for them.

Send invitations at least 2 weeks in advance. You should invite all the ladies in the wedding, as well as the mothers and grandmothers and sisters and sisters-in-law who aren't in the bridal party. If any children are attendants, it's a friendly gesture to invite their mothers also.

Traditionally a bridesmaids party was a bridesmaids luncheon held on the day of the wedding, but with all the turmoil surrounding weddings today, it is probably better to hold the party a week or two before the main event. In this day and age, luncheons have been replaced with such events as afternoon teas, spa days, dinners, or a night out (not to be confused with the bachelorette party, which is a whole different animal).

To me, the nicest and probably most calming way is to have a late buffet lunch or afternoon tea at home. This way everyone can relax. If you have bridesmaids who do not know each other, this is a good way for them to bond so that you have a cohesive team working for you at the wedding itself.

Set a menu. Since this is a ladies-only event, you will probably choose a light meal. Saladsare good summer choices. In cold months, you might serve soup and sandwiches. At a tea, have a huge assortment of finger sandwiches, canapes and hors d'oeuvres. For all meals, have beverages - coffee, tea, soft drinks, and perhaps champagne.

A dessert table with a knock-out chocolate dessert (forget the calories - its a party!) and other treats is always a great way to get everyone to open up and chat.

Your party decor should reflect your wedding decorations, and wedding favors should be fun and perhaps a bit risqué. Have plenty of flowers - corsages for the mothers and grandmothers, small bouquets for the bridesmaids. You can even give the the young ones their flower girl baskets so that they can practice tossing petals.

For the bridesmaids themselves, present them with a unique gift -jewelry, monogrammed stationery, a silver picture frame - to thank them for their service to you before and during the wedding itself. You might want to prepare a short speech that expresses your appreciation at this time as well.

A bridesmaids party can set the tone of fun and camaraderie that these wedding attendants will carry forward to the wedding and help make it an event to remember.