Wedding Traditions and Customs: How Much Do You Know?

You know you need flowers. You know you need cake. You know you need a bunch of girls standing around in likely-clad clothes. But do you dear, bride-to-be, know why? Wedding traditions such as these have been passed down through the generations. We follow the rules often without a second thought and most of time without fully understanding W-H-Y.

Today, we can test our knowledge of wedding customs and see if we can uncover where these 10 wedding traditions came from.

1. Why does the bride carry flowers?
a. So she doesn’t have to take a shower
b. Because brides in the past carried foul-smelling garlands to ward off evil spirits
c. Because orange blossom represent fruit and flowers and are the world renowned wedding flower

2. Why do brides carry something “blue?”
a. Because it reflects purity
b. Because in ancient Israel the color blue denoted love, modesty and fidelity
c. It rhymes with new

3. Why do we say “tie the knot?”
a. Because in Roman times, the bride wore a girdle the groom got to “untie” after the wedding
b. Because if the bride can tie a cherry stem with her tongue, she is good marriage potential
c. Because men used to race to tie a knot in a rope and whoever was finished first, won the bride

4. Why do we hold bridal showers?
a. To help the bride relieve stress
b. So the bride and groom don’t have to buy as much stuff for their new house
c. From the days when a bride’s father wouldn’t approve of the marriage and provide a dowry-the village pitched in to help the bride get married

5. Why do we have a first kiss during a wedding ceremony?
a. Because in ancient times the groom had never kissed his bride and he couldn’t wait any longer
b. To make sure the bride knew how to kiss. If she didn’t, the groom could cancel the wedding
c. Because in ancient Roman times, the kiss represented a legal bond

6. Why do we eat cake during a wedding reception?
a. So everyone can share the sweetness of the couple’s new marriage
b. Because it represented fertility in ancient days
c. Uhm. Duh! Because who doesn’t like cake?

7. Why does the bride wear a wedding veil?
a. So the groom won’t see her before they are officially married
b. To protect the bride from evil spirits
c. To protect the bride from jealous suitors

8. Why do newlyweds take a honeymoon?
a. Because after all of that wedding planning they need a vacation!
b. Because in ancient times, the bride was kidnapped and taken away for an extended period in hopes she would become pregnant and the groom would get to keep her.
c. If the bride married someone her family disliked, they would take a honeymoon in hopes that the family would forgive them by the time they returned.

9. Why did people traditionally throw rice at the wedding?
a. To feed the birds-they are hungry, too
b. So the bride could collect it and make dinner on her first night as a wife
c. To wish the couple a fruitful and plentiful life together

10. Why do brides have a maid-of-honor?
a. So her sister can dress up in a pretty dress
b. So she can show her friends who she likes the best
c. Because in ancient Greece, a more experienced bride would perform this role and impart her wisdom to the new bride

How did you do on the quiz? What are you favorite wedding traditions? Which answers surprised you?

Answers: 1)B&C; 2)A&B; 3)A; 4)C; 5)C; 6)B; 7)A,B,C; 8)B&C; 9)C; 10)C

All Dressed In White

It's really her fault. On February 10, 1840 the wedding of Queen Victoria of England and Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha created a pattern for formal weddings that has come down over the 160+ years since. So what was it about her wedding gown that changed the way women dressed for their weddings?

Victoria wore all white - white wedding gown, white veil, white flowers (orange blossoms, no less.) This is not to say that brides did not wear white before Victoria, however, they were as likely to wear other colors as well. There was no dominant wedding color, but the young Queen changed that tradition. She wore a soft white lace veil over her orange blossom (and diamond) wreath that brushed her fingertips and a white satin gown with a deep neckline, full skirt and lace flounces that made the wedding dress look like something from a fairy tale. And since she was a Queen already, royal fashion followers took up the tradition and we have all been slavishly following it ever since. (Here is a photo, circa 1854 of the royal couple recreating their wedding attire)

One of the things that made Victoria's royal wedding so different from other royal weddings was its deceptive simplicity. Instead of being wrapped in brocade and jewels, she wore a "simple white gown” and that seemed within the reach of the common people. Prince Albert went against a tradition of magnificence in the groom's attire and wore a simple uniform, thereby setting the tradition of restraint for the groom's wedding clothes. This restraint allowed the bride to standout in contrast and enabled her to be the center of attention. (A fun article about modern royal weddings is located here.)

Queen Victoria had everything - wealth, power, the Crown Jewels - but she was no beauty in a time when beauty was the standard against which women were measured. Yet she had managed to find the love of her life and for that day, she set the standard for beauty for all young women and guaranteed that on her wedding day, any bride was beautiful.

Victoria’s wedding gown also changed the attitude of brides everywhere – where before it was acceptable to wear your best dress to your wedding and keep wearing the dress, there was now a new tradition that wearing a wedding dress was a one-time only event. The dress was to become a sentimental treasure all the more cherished because of its one time designated use. Victorians were nothing if not impractically sentimental – and brides have been following that tradition ever since!

So when you accept that wedding invitation and watch the bride come down the aisle, all dressed in white, looking beautiful and radiant, as her groom stands at the altar simply dressed, take a moment, and think about Queen Victoria and her part in creating our wedding tradition of white.

More Wedding Traditions and Touches

Last time we talked about some customs incorporated by American couples in their wedding ceremonies and wedding receptions. Here are some more that make your wedding day even more outstanding.

Irish Traditions

The groom is lifted up in a chair (called a jaunting chair) at the wedding reception to signify he is a married man. Often, the wedding couple is given a horseshoe for luck to display in their new home. A Claddagh ring - a ring decorated with two hands holding a heart and a crown above them - is the traditional Irish wedding ring.

Greek Traditions

During the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom wear crowns of flowers or "stephana” as King and Queen of the day and their household. Their sponsor -- koumbaros (man) or koumbara (woman) -- places these on their heads. Sometimes these sponsors are the Maid of Honor and Best Man, or they are given a special role in the wedding ceremony. Inviting a man or woman or even a couple to be koumbari is a very serious undertaking. This sponsor will be a permanent member of your extended family.

Polish Traditions

Guests who dance with the bride at the wedding reception are expected to place gifts of money (preferably in money holders) in the pocket of an apron she wears for the occasion.

When the bride is dressed and ready to put on her veil, she stands by a mirror and watches her mother put it on for her. This symbolizes the last task a mother does for her little girl before she becomes a woman with her own life.

Scottish Traditions

The groom gives the bride an engraved silver teaspoon on their wedding day as a promise they will never go hungry. At the reception a traditional sword dance is often performed.

Hispanic Traditions

A large rosary or white rope called a "laso" is wound around the couple’s shoulders in a figure-8 during the ceremony to symbolize their union. Sometimes an heirloom mantilla is used in place of the “laso.” Three bouquets are used - the bride carries one, one is left at the altar to home the Virgin Mary, and their third is tossed at the ceremony.

Jewish Tradition

At the end of a Jewish wedding ceremony, a cloth-wrapped wine glass is smashed as a reminder of the hardship endured by the Jewish people by the destruction of the Holy Temple in ancient Israel, and as a reminder of the fragility of love and marriage. As the glass breaks, everyone cries "mazel tov" (congratulations) and then it's off to the wedding reception.

Next time, let's talk about what customs you can create for your own traditions!

Ethnic Wedding Touches

Today, many American couples are choosing to incorporate wedding ceremony and reception traditions derived from their own ethnic roots or heritage in homage to where they have come from. It's a really neat way of incorporating the past (something old) into the passage of a new shared life together.

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed and Something Blue

These American practices are meant to ensure a happy and lasting marriage after the actual wedding. Carrying something old and something new symbolizes a sense of continuity while the bride is making her transition to a new life. The color blue has long been associated with purity and modesty. By borrowing something from a happily married woman, it was believed her good fortune would rub off on the bride. Oh, and don't forget the penny in the shoe! It symbolizes good fortune and protection against want.

African-American Traditions

During the days of slavery when marriage was forbidden, a man and woman declared their marriage vows by jumping over a broom. This broom symbolized a threshold and the beginning of a new married life. To honor this way that African Americans consecrated their unions in the evil days of slavery, many couples are choosing to adopt the "jump the boom" tradition into their ceremonies.

Another tradition that has been revived hearkens back to the bride's African heritage. That tradition calls for the bride to wear her hair in intricate braids decorated with cowrie shells or pieces of silver, and for the couple to wear African robes in Kente or Aso-oke in colorful geometric patterns.

A third tradition in some African-American weddings today features the traditional rite of winding, plaited grass around the couples wrists to symbolize their union.

Asian-American Traditions

In Chinese traditions, the wedding color scheme includes a warm color to signify happiness. Since red is considered the color of love and joy in this tradition, the bride may wear a red wedding dress.

In Japanese traditions, the bride and her parents visit the groom's house on the wedding day. She wears a traditional ceremonial wedding kimono as her gown and may change out of it for the wedding banquet. Nine sips of sake are drunk by the bride and groom during the wedding ceremony, but they are considered married after that first sip.

Italian-American Traditions

A white silk or satin purse called a "busta," usually decorated with lace, is carried by the bride at the wedding reception to store wedding cards, wedding money holders, and envelopes bearing gifts of money. While some cultures find giving money as a wedding gift tacky or inappropriate, in the Italian tradition, monetary gifts are considered a thoughtful way to help the wedding couple be financially established.

Next time we will discuss more customs that have been adopted. Stay tuned!