Why Hire a Wedding Planner?

You are in love, you are engaged, and you want to have the best wedding possible for your wedding budget. You also have a job or live in a town other than the one where you will be getting married and time is slipping away from you as if you were in an hourglass. What can you do to alleviate the stress and actually get to your wedding on time, on budget and happy?

Hire a wedding planner!

This does not take you off the hook for major decisions, but it does mean that you have someone connected to the wedding and event planning industry. Someone in your locale who will assist you in navigating the shoals of the wedding sea.

The wedding planner (or consultant or coordinator - they have many titles) should be certified. One of the best ways to find a person who will meet your needs is to ask friends for recommendations or to contact the Association of Bridal Consultants for professionals in your area. Ask for references and follow up on them. To get a hint of what wedding planners do, check out a few episodes of "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" for a glimpse into their not-so-glamorous world.

There are many different kinds of services that a wedding planner provides. They can just consult for a couple of hours a month to keep you on task for your own wedding planning. They can be hired for just the day of wedding (and possibly rehearsal) to act as an on-site director for all details concerning the wedding day itself. That way you won't have to bother with a catering crisis as you walk down the aisle. But the most comprehensive wedding planner package is for full-service. This means the wedding planner will help you plan the wedding itself from start to finish and will be with you on your wedding day as the on-site coordinator.

The wedding planner you should hire, especially for a full service package, should:

• Listen to your ideas and research the options to satisfy your concept of your wedding

• Come up with an overall wedding plan that meets your tastes and wedding budget

• Make appointments with vendors (and go with you to get special deals)

• Help handle selection of bridesmaid’s dresses, wedding invitations, flowers, and caterer

• Organize and coordinate wedding programs, music for the ceremony and wedding reception, menus, place cards and table assignments

• Ensure that everything goes smoothly by staying in touch with the vendors and other service providers (this also means having an in-budget back up if the vendor screws up)

• Be on hand at the wedding itself to handle services and details

• Act as liaison between warring parties (parents, caterers, room providers) and find solutions to all difficulties

Make certain you can afford NOT to have a wedding planner, or budget one into your overall wedding budget at the very beginning of the planning process. A good wedding planner may be a necessity rather than a luxury, so think about it, and plan accordingly.

A Lovely Family Wedding

I went to a wedding last weekend and it was really lovely. Aside from the fact that I got to see family members and had a nice time catching up with them, I was also impressed with both the elegance and simplicity of the wedding itself. It was a true KISS wedding.

The church portion of the wedding was Greek Orthodox and fairly cut and dried, as this is a church that does not allow for too many variations to its basic services. However, before the service began, there were a couple of really nice touches.

Since the bride’s father had passed away, her mother walked her down the aisle. The groom was raised in a single-parent home and when the bride and her mother arrived at the altar, the groom’s mother took her son by the hand and gave it to the bride. Then it was a straightforward ceremony after that.

When we got to the wedding reception at the large banquet hall, there were place cards with table numbers alphabetically listed on an entry way table. Next to this table, there was a guest book and poster of the bride and groom to sign.

While the wedding photographer was snapping all the formal wedding pictures, one of the groom’s nephews was taking candid pictures of all the guests as they entered and having them write a short note to the wedding couple. He was then going to be putting these photos into a special wedding photo book to give to the wedding couple when they return home from their honeymoon.

The bride chose three colors – black, white, and red – and carried these out throughout the wedding and reception. An excellent touch was that she had selected the color red for her bridesmaids’ dresses. However, instead of these bridesmaids' dresses being done in cookie cutter fashion - regardless of whether they look good on a particular body – she had each bridesmaid choose her own dress style in the exact color red she had selected. This meant that one bridesmaid wore a strapless dress that was flattering to her slim figure while another bridesmaid, who was full figured, wore ¾-length sleeves with a fuller skirt. Another bridesmaid wore – well, you get the picture.

Each place setting was elegantly appointed with place card holders, white china, and shiny tableware. Although it was a buffet style, there were servers assigned to ensure that the guests were kept supplied with salads, desserts and beverages. Bridal shower favors attached to tulle-wrapped Jordan almonds were at each place setting and candles shone on each table. When the dancing started, the overhead lights were dimmed and the candlelight lent the room an elegant feel.

What also impressed me was that although there were eight weddings and parties at this banquet hall (Michaud's for those in the Cleveland area) that evening (you should have seen the parking lot) there was never any sense that my cousin’s wedding was not the most important event happening there. The professionalism of the crew made this a wedding to remember.

This wedding was an excellent example of keeping it simple and stunning!

Wedding Placecard Ideas

Wedding placecards are used to indicate which place setting at a particular table has been reserved for a guest. You can use placecards at any style wedding but they are best for very formal or very intimate weddings, or for weddings that feature long tables where seating might be confusing to your guests.

Although they are a wonderful and thoughtful detail, using placecards requires a lot more effort on the part of the bride and groom who must organize seating tables carefully and far enough in advance to write or print a card for each guest.

Place cards are also referred to as escort cards sometimes. These cards are printed with the guests' names and table numbers on them, telling (or escorting) them to which table they have been assigned. Escort cards can be classic flat cards in envelopes or folded tent cards, usually displayed at the cocktail hour or at the entrance to the wedding reception on a special table.

Whether you call it an escort card when it's sitting on a table waiting to be picked up or a place card, since it's already on the table, there are several unique and interesting things you can do to enhance this little token of your wedding.

One way is to attach a wedding favor to the escort or placecard. This little wedding favor can be a chocolate bar covered in a special personalized wedding wrapper, or a small bag of potpourri. Make sure it blends with your colors and style so you can tie everything together.

Another nice touch is to print the menu on the inside of the placecard. Instead of using the regular-sized place card, use a modified wedding program in its place. On the outside fold of the place card, have the guest's name and table number. On the inside, paste a printed menu along with the wedding couple's names and wedding date. Put this "placecard" on each plate as it corresponds to the escort card's assignment number. It will become a nice keepsake from the wedding.

If your seating configuration is complex or more than likely to change at the last moment, consider using the card in envelope format to double as an escort or place card. This way you can print the envelopes well in advance (go ahead and print one for anyone you think may come - it will make life easier.)

Keep a little stack of numbered cards for each table number and just stuff the envelopes with the cards once your seating is firm. Then if you have last minute changes, you can simply open the envelope, switch the table number (and the place cards on the table) and voila - you are the perfect host anticipating all contingencies.

Muslim Weddings - Customs and Traditions

A wedding is always a happy time for families to celebrate. In the Muslim world, wedding traditions maintain some similarities based on faith. However, there are also colorful, cultural variations from place to place. The various wedding traditions reflect the diversity of the Muslim world. Where I live there is a large Muslim community and several Mosques throughout the city so these ceremonies and celebrations are part of the community.

Like all weddings, the purpose of a Muslim wedding is to join a man and woman in a new life together. The honoring of the Islamic faith during the ceremony is central to this new union. The associated traditions vary according to where the Islamic wedding takes place.

As with any faith, some Muslim weddings are deeply conservative, where the men and women who are invited to attend are separated during the ceremony, and the wedding reception. Other Muslim weddings are more modern and intermingle genders during the wedding reception, which is reflective of any other wedding.

There are certain elements that are basic to all Muslim weddings, no matter what the ethnic traditions are, that enhance the happy event.

All couples must sign a marriage contract or "nikkah" and the groom presents the bride with a "mahr" or wedding gift at the time of the vows.

At the wedding ceremony, the Imam (officiant) delivers a sermon during the vows. Usually, this sermon is addressed to the bride and groom and concerns their responsibilities toward one another. It also serves as a reminder to those who are already married.

After the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom receive friends and family at a Muslim wedding reception called by some the "walima."

No matter where the Muslim wedding takes place (in the US, Singapore, or the Middle East, for instance) each culture adds it stamp on to these basic traditions.

During the sungkem ceremony in a Sudanese wedding, the bride and groom bend forward to kiss the knees of their parents, promising to continue to serve them and asking for their forgiveness and blessings from them.

Moroccan brides change dresses and matching jewelry several times during their wedding celebration. Sometime during the wedding reception, the groom makes his way in a noisy procession to collect his bride. Once there, he is hoisted onto the shoulders of his friends or onto a horse; his bride is carried on a table or cushion. The procession continues until the couple reaches the nuptial chamber.

For couples of Malay descent, costumed children form a festive procession to hand-deliver gifts from the groom to the bride. Wedding guests might receive beautifully decorated hard-boiled eggs, representing fertility.

Turkish wedding customs include a procession where wedding guests, accompanied by drums and pipes, "fetch" the bride from her parents' home and escort her to the groom's house. There, her mother-in-law greets her with a gift and the groom leads her inside.

No matter what the custom though, the guests, and the families gather together for only one reason - to wish the wedding couple a world of prosperity and happiness in their life to come.

Seating The Guests

While it may seem logical to you, many people - especially the ushers - don't have a clue as to how to seat the guests at your wedding. While many guests show themselves to their seats, especially when the usher is nowhere to be seen, there is a custom to escort special guests to their seats before the wedding ceremony begins.

Even though you may be calling these particular groomsmen "ushers," they may not know how to escort the guests to their seats. I knew one usher who blithely took the groom's great-grandmother up the back stairs of the church to the choir loft because he thought it provided the best view in the house. Then he neglected to tell anyone he had done this. For ten minutes, the bride's father, the groom's father and all the bridesmaids were frantically seeking Nana and there she was, all alone in the choir loft trying to figure out how to get downstairs with her walker.

At the wedding rehearsal, take a few moments to explain to the ushers the protocols of seating the wedding guests. You haven't invited all these people to witness your wedding only to have them miffed before the ceremony even starts!

My suggestion is that you have photo prints of each important guest made and placed in a coordinated seating plan. Go over it with the ushers ahead of time. It doesn't cost a lot to have prints made and for you to sketch the rows where these guests are to sit, but it can save huge fusses later.

Place this chart at the back of the ceremony site near the guest book as a reference so that there is no confusion. It's not that you don't trust the ushers to recall your instructions, but they may not know who everyone is and this will help them make things go smoothly.

There are several permutations of seating that occur for different religious wedding ceremonies.
Most prominently, in Christian weddings, the bride's family sits on the left side of the church while the groom's family is on the right. Reform and Conservative Jewish weddings are just the opposite. Orthodox Jewish weddings segregate the men and women from sitting together at all.

The first row of the ceremony site is reserved for parents, the second for siblings, the third for grandparents and other close relatives. After that, ushers may seat guests as they arrive from front to back. Closest relatives should be seated last and separated from the rest of the guests due to their relationship. Guests who arrive late at the wedding ceremony should quietly sit at the back and don't need to be escorted by ushers.

Plan ahead now and save against seating headaches later!

KISS Second Weddings

Let's talk about the second time around. Statistically, 50% of marriages end in divorce. (Just to keep a proper perspective, that means that 50% do NOT end in divorce as well!) Even if it doesn't work out the first time, that's no reason to give up the search for love and for someone with whom to share your life! (Donna Ennis' I Do Take Two site is an excellent source of second wedding ideas.)

Although a second wedding can be a full blown affair with a formal wedding gown, a gazillion bridesmaids and groomsmen, and 500 guests, the trend today is to keep it simple (smaller) and stunning! One of the advantages of this is that you can spend less and still have a lovely and intimate wedding that is more personalized and meaningful, especially for the bride and groom!

For many second time brides, a full blown wedding gives them a feeling of deja vu. They don't want to go through all the turmoil, planning and stress again. This time around they are seeking to place their emphasis on the relationship, their vows and their guests. In fact, many second weddings are often surprise weddings where the guests are invited to one type of event and a wedding happens instead.

From the wedding invitations and decorations, to the favors and second wedding venue, this wedding can be a more elegant and intimate affair than a blow-out first wedding. You set the tone. Having a destination or honeymoon wedding is always an option, but even a smaller wedding held at a local bed and breakfast, private home or garden, or a local historic site can provide the intimate backdrop that a huge venue for many guests may be unable to attain.

Even the wedding attendants can consist of one attendant each for the bride and groom - a Maid (or Matron) of Honor and the best man. Many times the second wedding party includes children from a previous marriage who stand up with their parents on this special day, thereby blending the families from the beginning.

In many cases, the second wedding also entails an older bride and groom who have had experience - both negative and positive - with marriage. They know what they are getting into and how to refocus their priorities. Many times with younger brides and grooms, the wedding is the ultimate goal and suddenly, there you are, married and with no clue as to what that means!

Ethnic Wedding Touches

Today, many American couples are choosing to incorporate wedding ceremony and reception traditions derived from their own ethnic roots or heritage in homage to where they have come from. It's a really neat way of incorporating the past (something old) into the passage of a new shared life together.

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed and Something Blue

These American practices are meant to ensure a happy and lasting marriage after the actual wedding. Carrying something old and something new symbolizes a sense of continuity while the bride is making her transition to a new life. The color blue has long been associated with purity and modesty. By borrowing something from a happily married woman, it was believed her good fortune would rub off on the bride. Oh, and don't forget the penny in the shoe! It symbolizes good fortune and protection against want.

African-American Traditions

During the days of slavery when marriage was forbidden, a man and woman declared their marriage vows by jumping over a broom. This broom symbolized a threshold and the beginning of a new married life. To honor this way that African Americans consecrated their unions in the evil days of slavery, many couples are choosing to adopt the "jump the boom" tradition into their ceremonies.

Another tradition that has been revived hearkens back to the bride's African heritage. That tradition calls for the bride to wear her hair in intricate braids decorated with cowrie shells or pieces of silver, and for the couple to wear African robes in Kente or Aso-oke in colorful geometric patterns.

A third tradition in some African-American weddings today features the traditional rite of winding, plaited grass around the couples wrists to symbolize their union.

Asian-American Traditions

In Chinese traditions, the wedding color scheme includes a warm color to signify happiness. Since red is considered the color of love and joy in this tradition, the bride may wear a red wedding dress.

In Japanese traditions, the bride and her parents visit the groom's house on the wedding day. She wears a traditional ceremonial wedding kimono as her gown and may change out of it for the wedding banquet. Nine sips of sake are drunk by the bride and groom during the wedding ceremony, but they are considered married after that first sip.

Italian-American Traditions

A white silk or satin purse called a "busta," usually decorated with lace, is carried by the bride at the wedding reception to store wedding cards, wedding money holders, and envelopes bearing gifts of money. While some cultures find giving money as a wedding gift tacky or inappropriate, in the Italian tradition, monetary gifts are considered a thoughtful way to help the wedding couple be financially established.

Next time we will discuss more customs that have been adopted. Stay tuned!