Tuesday, September 1, 2009

More Wedding Guest Etiquette Q&A

Last week we discussed three of the most frequently asked questions regarding wedding guest etiquette. But that list was far from complete.

Today we are back to answer your etiquette questions regarding your guests and their little tagalongs.

Q: What to do when kids aren't invited and you're put on the spot when someone says, "but isn't it different for us since we are family?”

WW: Weddings bring out the best in people. Most of the time they are in a good mood, they are generous, they feel loving. Unfortunately, dear Bride-to-Be, it also brings out the worst. Many people can’t understand why you would want to exclude their little darlings from your Big Day and they can get down-right offended if their kiddos aren’t invited.

However, if you and your future spouse have opted for an adults-only wedding, then you have to stick your ground.

If you are put on the spot, tell the offending party that, unfortunately, the no-kids rule goes for family members, too.

If you feel like you must explain your decision-which you aren’t required to do, by the way-tell them you and your fiance have opted for an adults-only wedding. Stress the fact that it would make you look bad if non-family member guests showed up sans children, only to see other kids running and playing throughout the event.

If you can’t think of this quickly enough when you are on the spot, then call the family member as soon as possible and clarify the situation. Again, elaborate only where you feel you must and assure your wedding guest that it isn’t a personal attack on their children.

It is also perfectly acceptable for you to call guests who RSVP for their children and remind them you are having an adults-only reception.

Q: How do you handle guests who bring their children to an adults-only wedding, then the child proceeds to cry during the ceremony and doesn’t have a seat or meal at the reception?

WW: My number ONE rule for you regarding wedding day mishaps is to let it go. DON'T let any of your guests have that much control over you or your feelings on your wedding day.

However, if you are concerned this might happen, a little advance planning can go a long way to ease your worries.

Ask a friend to monitor for children entering the ceremony and tell her to direct all families with children either to the cry room (of a church) or to the back row.

This same friend can help control crying babies by politely asking their parents to step outside until the ceremony has ended.

Always plan for extra guests at your reception, either by leaving one or two seats open per table, or by asking your caterer to set an extra table for guests who didn't RSVP.

Did you experience anything like this during your wedding? How did you react?

Photos courtesy of jalvear and Xtream_i

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