Wedding Stress Management

Between money, time, and general expectations, weddings make most couples want to pull out their hair at one point or another. If you can break down where that stress is coming from, it will be easier to deal with. It's a given, from the choice of invitations to the seating chart, you are going to be stressed out. But here are some tips to help manage it.

* Everyone has an opinion – and wants you to act on it!

From day one, everyone – from your grandma Sue to your hairdresser Bruce, will want to know all the details of your wedding and will, without any hesitation, offer you their suggestions and opinions. If you don't follow each and every one to the letter, they will be mortally insulted.

Not.

Just remember - and repeat it to yourself whenever it just gets too much – "This is our wedding. This is our wedding. This is our wedding." It doesn't mean you can't listen to what they are telling you, just take it all with a grain of salt. And go your own way!

* Parents – Gotta love 'em -- or do you?

Parents have been honing their abilities to stress you out for your entire lives! It's one of the perks of parenthood, but to keep them from getting to you during the wedding planning process, head them off at the pass. Ask early if they are giving you money for the wedding and how much. This eliminates any confusion later when you hand them a bill and they go ballistic because you spent $5,000 on wedding favors.

Make the planning process fun. It is a wedding after all and supposed to be happy. Invite your parents (both sets if you like) to attend a formal dinner and planning session. Talk to them generally about style, location and when you are planning the wedding. From the outset – and do this with both sets of parents – determine how many people they will be inviting for your wedding.

I knew one bride whose mother invited over 200 people to her daughter's wedding. The couple didn't have any room for friends. They got to spend their entire wedding reception with septuagenarians who really didn't enjoy the rock band that the couple hired to entertain their friends.

Don't promise your mother something without running it by your fiancé first! One good way to get your parents involved and to get you out from under is to ask them if they would be willing to do some specific tasks. They can do price comparisons, organize hotel discounts, even help with color schemes and favors if you are willing to give up control.

The key to managing stress with the parents is to make them feel that they are part of the process and not a wall between you and your wedding vision!

Tomorrow – more stressors! Can you handle it?