Four Steps to Choosing the Perfect Wedding Dress

On this day-possibly more than any other day in your life-you want to look perfect. You want the perfect hair. The perfect face. The perfect dress.

I know. I’ve been there.

They say the average bride tries on 20 dresses before making her choice. Me? I tried on 220. At least. Then I went back to square one. Seriously. That first little square picture I had plucked from the very first wedding magazine I read on my very first wedding information-gathering exploration.

But it was a process. A process many of us have to go through in order to get that perfect wedding dress. And so I'll share ...

Here are four tips to help you choose your perfect wedding dress.


1. Know Your Style
As we’ve discussed, knowing your wedding style will go a long way in helping you plan the perfect day. Same goes for your dress. If you are planning an elegant sit-down dinner, followed by a night of dancing and sipping champagne, you’ll be better off with a long, formal dress. On the other hand, if you are planning an afternoon lunch reception to follow your noon-time nuptials, a knee-length dress will better suit your style.

2. Choose Your Look
Do you want to be a sexy bride? An elegant bride? A blushing, youthful bride? Yes, technically you can be all three, but knowing the look you want will help you choose your dress.

I had narrowed my decision to two dresses. A soft-pink glimmering princess dress and an exotic, tight-waist bombshell dress. I couldn't choose and went back and forth between the two for days. Finally, the salesperson asked me a simple question, “Do you want to be sexy or do you want to look innocent?”

Simple enough. The choice was made.


3. Brainstorm Dresses
After your know your wedding day style and bridal look-start brainstorming. Search everywhere for wedding dresses. With the new color infusion wedding dresses are seeing these days, there is no longer a reason for brides to limit themselves to bridal salons. Seriously. Look everywhere. You might not find the dress you want on Craig’s List, but you might get an idea of where to look next.

Pull all of the pictures of the dresses you like and look for similarities. Are you choosing all ball gowns? Do all of the dresses have a hint of color? Are they slim, short or traditional?

4. Try Them On
After you have taken notice of the type of dress you are attracted to-get to the nearest shop and try them on. You may have loved those empire-line dresses but hate how they look on you. Try on several dresses with the same shape before you mark something off of your list. Try on anything the salesperson-or your mom, or your sister or your best friend-brings you. You never know what might change your mind.

Be sure to take a nice pair of heels with you to try on your dress so you can get a full picture of your wedding look.

After you have followed these four steps but before you have made your purchase, go back through steps one and two. Make sure the dress fits with your wedding style and look. This is an important step many brides overlook and although that might be a perfect dress-if it doesn’t go with your overall wedding plans-it isn’t the perfect dress for you.

Have you chosen your wedding dress? How did you do it? How many dresses did you try on before you found The One?

Photos courtesy of Notti Cabirian and Hopemeng

Wedding Traditions and Customs: How Much Do You Know?

You know you need flowers. You know you need cake. You know you need a bunch of girls standing around in likely-clad clothes. But do you dear, bride-to-be, know why? Wedding traditions such as these have been passed down through the generations. We follow the rules often without a second thought and most of time without fully understanding W-H-Y.

Today, we can test our knowledge of wedding customs and see if we can uncover where these 10 wedding traditions came from.

1. Why does the bride carry flowers?
a. So she doesn’t have to take a shower
b. Because brides in the past carried foul-smelling garlands to ward off evil spirits
c. Because orange blossom represent fruit and flowers and are the world renowned wedding flower

2. Why do brides carry something “blue?”
a. Because it reflects purity
b. Because in ancient Israel the color blue denoted love, modesty and fidelity
c. It rhymes with new

3. Why do we say “tie the knot?”
a. Because in Roman times, the bride wore a girdle the groom got to “untie” after the wedding
b. Because if the bride can tie a cherry stem with her tongue, she is good marriage potential
c. Because men used to race to tie a knot in a rope and whoever was finished first, won the bride

4. Why do we hold bridal showers?
a. To help the bride relieve stress
b. So the bride and groom don’t have to buy as much stuff for their new house
c. From the days when a bride’s father wouldn’t approve of the marriage and provide a dowry-the village pitched in to help the bride get married

5. Why do we have a first kiss during a wedding ceremony?
a. Because in ancient times the groom had never kissed his bride and he couldn’t wait any longer
b. To make sure the bride knew how to kiss. If she didn’t, the groom could cancel the wedding
c. Because in ancient Roman times, the kiss represented a legal bond

6. Why do we eat cake during a wedding reception?
a. So everyone can share the sweetness of the couple’s new marriage
b. Because it represented fertility in ancient days
c. Uhm. Duh! Because who doesn’t like cake?

7. Why does the bride wear a wedding veil?
a. So the groom won’t see her before they are officially married
b. To protect the bride from evil spirits
c. To protect the bride from jealous suitors

8. Why do newlyweds take a honeymoon?
a. Because after all of that wedding planning they need a vacation!
b. Because in ancient times, the bride was kidnapped and taken away for an extended period in hopes she would become pregnant and the groom would get to keep her.
c. If the bride married someone her family disliked, they would take a honeymoon in hopes that the family would forgive them by the time they returned.

9. Why did people traditionally throw rice at the wedding?
a. To feed the birds-they are hungry, too
b. So the bride could collect it and make dinner on her first night as a wife
c. To wish the couple a fruitful and plentiful life together

10. Why do brides have a maid-of-honor?
a. So her sister can dress up in a pretty dress
b. So she can show her friends who she likes the best
c. Because in ancient Greece, a more experienced bride would perform this role and impart her wisdom to the new bride

How did you do on the quiz? What are you favorite wedding traditions? Which answers surprised you?

Answers: 1)B&C; 2)A&B; 3)A; 4)C; 5)C; 6)B; 7)A,B,C; 8)B&C; 9)C; 10)C

Who Speaks When? A Mini-Guide to Wedding Day Speeches

Tap, tap, tap …

Uhm … can you hear me? Can you hear me?

Is this thing on?

Public speaking is one of the most common phobias in the world, yet at some point or another-like your wedding, for instance-people will need to speak.

And this can get scary.

The bride is worried about who speaks when, the speakers are worried about what to say and the guests are worried the bride chose too many speakers and that the speakers will speak too long.

Agh! What should you do?

First, take a deep breath, have a sip of water and imagine everyone around you is naked … feel better?

Now here is a mini-guide to wedding day speeches.

Rehearsal Dinner

1. It is common for the person who is hosting the rehearsal dinner to welcome the guests, say a few words about the couple and mention the uniting of two families. Traditionally this was the groom’s father, but recently the task has fallen to the groom, the bride or another close family member or friend.

This speech is given after everyone is seated and has a glass of their preferred toasting beverage.

2. Sometimes other parents or honor attendants (your maid of honor and best man) prefer to speak at the rehearsal dinner instead of at the wedding reception. This is a personal choice, and a good one, I think if they won’t be speaking at the wedding –you don’t want the same people speaking at both events.

These speeches can be given following the first course or in the middle of dinner, after everyone has begun eating.

3. Since this is normally a casual affair, the bride and groom should consider thanking their parents and wedding attendants and presenting them with gifts during the rehearsal dinner.

The bride and groom can speak just before dessert or at the end of the dinner as a final send-off for their guests.

Wedding Reception

1. The best man usually toasts the couple with a short speech just after the formal blessing but before dinner, after everyone has been served a glass of champagne.

2. If the maid of honor didn’t speak at the rehearsal dinner, she can speak at the wedding reception.

3. Sometimes the father-of-the-bride, or whoever is hosting the event, will speak.

Both the maid of honor and the father-of-the-bride (and additional speeches) can be done in one of several ways.

- The speeches can be given immediately following the best man’s speech.

- The speeches can be given after everyone has been served (or served themselves dinner) and is seated.

- The speeches can be delivered between courses (for a formal dinner).

I prefer to schedule the speeches throughout the night so guests aren’t forced to listen to 10-20 consecutive minutes of wedding speeches.

I also encourage brides to schedule the speeches early in the night before speakers can consume to much liquid courage and to conclude all speeches before the dancing begins, as it will be highly difficult-if not impossible-to regain control of the crowd.

Now, as for what your speakers should say or how they can cope with that public speaking phobia? Here are a few websites you can direct them to …

Free Wedding Toasts

Wedding Speeches

WedAlert.Com

Afraid of Speaking a Speech.Com

Photo courtesy of True Blue Titan

Four Steps to Choosing Wedding Day Favors

Wedding favors are children’s party favors’ sophisticated cousins and are often given as tokens of appreciation to wedding guests at some point during the wedding reception. Back in the old days-aka when I was growing up-my mom used to look for her color-coordinated book of matches and take an embossed cocktail napkin home as a souvenir from the couple’s happy day.

My, how things have changed.

Somewhere along the way, Americans followed the lead of French and Italian aristocrats who gave their guests bomboniere, a small porcelain or metal box filled with candied almonds and voila … the wedding favor was born.

Today’s bride has limitless options, from frames to homemade cookies to imported bottles of miniature olive oil (that’s what I gave!)-your imagination really *is* your only limitation. Need some help with that imagination?


Well here you go. Open a new browser, bride-to-be, because today we are going to choose your wedding favors!

Step 1:
If you haven’t already, you should start by familiarizing yourself with your options.

My Wedding Favors
This is the go-to site for wedding favor inspiration with categories divided by season, price, type and a special *featured favor* section. If it is wedding favor-related, you will find it here.

Wedding Favors
Yet another website dedicated to favors, this site features a “New for 2009” landing page, offers accessories for other wedding-related needs and even ships overseas. Another great place to get inspired.

Wedding Chicks
If you are planning a wedding and haven’t visited Wedding Chicks, then you are behind, girl. This site is a great meeting place for brides and features “real bride” bloggers, destination wedding advice and tips for weddings in each of the 50 states in the US.

Wedding Bee
Another must-see site for brides-to-be, Wedding Bee offers Pro Tips, a forum of other brides and photo galleries and classifieds.

Step 2:
Think about you, your fiance and your wedding theme and try to narrow your options. For example, if you and your honey met while salsa dancing, consider giving a salsa CD; if you are having an Asian-themed wedding, think about giving Asian fans; if you and your husband-to-be are actively involved in a charitable organization, you can give a donation to that organization in your guests’ names.


Step 3:
Set your budget-and stick to it! Favors can get out of control and can make you miss your budget mark by thousands of dollars. Since you have already reviewed your options, look at your budget and decide how much you can afford to spend per person. If you fall in love with an expensive option, brainstorm ways to make them yourself or search for less-expensive ways to create the favors yourself.

Step 4:
Decide at this point if you want to do something traditional or if you prefer to give a unique favor. When I got married, I knew that I wanted something different-or I wanted nothing at all. Since my husband is Italian and he and I live in the bel paese, we imported Italian olive oil, bottled it into miniature bottles for our guests, sealed the bottles and applied our own labels and raffia. Everyone raved about them and they looked like they cost much more than they actually did.

If you want to go a more traditional route, you can purchase chocolate bars and create your own labels online. American Greetings has candy wrappers you can easily create or you can visit favorideas.com for more ideas.

Have you chosen your favors? What are you giving? Are you making them or purchasing them pre-made?

Photos courtesy of Creative Abubot, Fairy Tale and Corey Ann

Hot Wedding Color Combinations for 2009

Every few years new color combinations hit the wedding scene - some make a splash and stay around while others sizzle … then quickly fizzle.

Are you the type of bride who wants her wedding to reflect the hottest color trends of the season, show her stylish side and make her friends envious with why-didn’t-I-think-of-that-color-syndrome? If so here are four color combinations that are HOT for 2009.

But before we get started, here are a few things to remember about your wedding color combinations.

- Keep it simple
Choosing too many colors will make your wedding seem unorganized and leave your guests wondering what look you were striving for; limit your color choices to no more than three colors so your wedding will be streamlined and elegant.

- Be decisive
Take as much time as you need to choose your wedding colors, but once you’ve made a decision-stick with it. I went to a wedding once where I knew the bride’s parents had paid a year’s worth of college tuition on food, rentals and decorations alone. The bride had hired a wedding planner. No expense was spared.

The problem was her color choices seemed to be deep navy and brown-those colors were everywhere-but her tablecloths were burnt orange. I am all about color accents, but in this case it didn’t work.

- Use colors liberally
Whichever colors you choose, be sure to repeat them throughout your wedding-in your invitations, in your wedding party attire, in your floral and centerpiece decorations, your cake, your linens … everywhere! If the bride from the above example had used burnt orange in more than her tablecloths, the color would have brightened the wedding and blended perfectly with her intended wedding day style.

Got it? Here we go.

1. Shades

Wedding color combinations for 2009 are all about blending shades of similar colors. Need an example?

Orange is one of my favorite colors, especially for a wedding. It's bright hue can liven up a room and is reminiscent of youth, sun and energy. But you probably don’t want orange as your only wedding color, now do you?

I didn’t think so.

What I’d do is start with a shade of orange, such as pumpkin or tangerine, then add peach, peach-orange or peach-yellow. The effect is bright, energetic and classy.

2. Blending Browns

As with the example above, stand-alone brown might not be the go-to color choice for many brides, but when done properly it can be elegant and chic.

Consider choosing dark espresso and pairing it with latte or cream (I am getting thirsty, here). Set off against a backdrop of sparkling lights, candles and a hint of gold this color combination is stylishly romantic and promises to give your guests something to remember.


3. Eclectic Eggplant

Eggplant burst onto the wedding color combination scene a few years, but trend-setting brides make adjustments with each year. According to The Knot.com, eggplant, cornflower and magenta are big and bold for 2009.

The key is to choose colors that have the same undertones. The particular shades of eggplant and magenta pictured on the knot’s website have blue undertones. This helps ensure your colors don’t clash.

4. Orange and well … anything

It is true. Orange really is *the* IT color for 2009. For spring or summer weddings pair bright orange with aqua or turquoise to create a tropical feel. Autumn brides can use deep orange paired with cream, light gold, plum or brown, while winter brides could choose deep navy, charcoal or purple.

Have you chosen your wedding colors? What are they? How did you decide?

Photos courtesy of TN Something Special Cake and Anne Ruthmann

Extra Events for Your Destination Wedding

Last week we hit on Destination Wedding Dos and Don’ts and I promised to give you the scoop on all the fun, extra wedding events you could host.

And trust me … there are a lot.

From bachelor parties to vineyard tours and everything in between, your destination wedding can easily turn into a destination weekend - and why shouldn’t it? You deserve it.

Not sure if you should include extra events, or even which events to choose? Don’t worry. I’ll help.

The number and types of events you host depend on several factors. Ask yourself the following questions to help you get started.

- How many days do you expect your guests to be at your wedding destination?

- How many guests are you expecting to attend?

- How big is your budget?

Now, here is a rundown on the most traditional destination wedding events.


Welcome Party
A welcome party is held on the evening that the majority of your guests arrive at the wedding destination. This can be something simple, like cocktails and appetizers or elaborate like a Polynesian Luau. If you want this type of event, talk to your wedding planner and ask about venues other than your wedding reception location. If you are getting married in Italy, ask if there is a vineyard or villa nearby that hosts events and have your welcome party there. You don’t want your guests to be tired of your wedding before the Big Day arrives.

Bachelor/Bachelorette Party
If time permits, couples can choose to have their bachelor and bachelorette parties at their wedding destination. Just be sure you don’t host this event the night before the wedding and ensure there is responsible transportation for everyone.


Spa Day
Many brides like to host a bridal luncheon or spa day before their wedding-and destination weddings are no exception! Ask your hotel for spa specials and ask them to deliver lunch to the spa for you and your girls.

Area Tours
If you are getting married in a destination that is known for a particular attraction, then consider hosting a group tour of that location. For example, if you are getting married in San Francisco, consider hosting a tour of Alcatraz, if you are getting married in Guatemala, consider hosting a tour to the ruins at Tikal ... you get the idea.

Rehearsal Dinner
In my opinion, this is the only pre-wedding event you should invite your guests to attend. If you can’t afford a big dinner for everyone, then go a less-expensive route or talk to your wedding planner for other options. If you absolutely can’t afford dinner for all of your guests, then host your rehearsal dinner for your wedding party and family members and invite everyone else to join you at a pre-set time for drinks or dessert.


Morning-After Brunch
Since you will likely stay in or near your wedding destination for your honeymoon, consider hosting a morning-after brunch for your guests. Everyone will enjoy discussing your fabulous wedding, talking about your new “Mrs.” status and sharing pictures from their digital cameras.

It is important to note that no destination wedding should include all of these events … that is wedding-overkill for you and your guests. Choose the events that best fit with your idea of a perfect destination wedding-and budget-and your guests will be grateful.

Also keep in mind that you should foot the bill for any event you invite your guests to attend. You can (and should) create a special package of information on restaurants, bars and attractions in the area you guests can visit on their own. You aren’t responsible for paying for this.

Are you having a destination wedding? Which events are you going to include?

Photos courtesy of voxphoto, thomaswanhoff and terralynne

Seating Charts for Dummies: How to Create a Wedding Reception Seating Chart

Think back to a time when you walked into a room, you didn’t recognize a face in the crowd, you had nowhere to sit, no one to talk to … you felt invisible. Right? Well if you haven’t ever been in that situation-lucky you. For those of you who have-you know it stinks.

You don’t want your wedding guests to feel that way, do you?

Well here is a little secret.

If you don’t have a seating chart … they will.

I can’t tell you how many weddings I’ve attended that didn’t have a seating chart. I realize it is a pain in the neck for most brides. I realize some guests might know a lot of people and want to mingle. I do. I get that.

But imagine your 86-year-old grandmother arriving at the reception and all of the seats near you are taken.

What if there are only individual seats left at each table and nowhere for your favorite cousin and her husband to sit together?

What if your friend who flew 400 miles to be at your wedding walks in and has to ask strangers if they’ll “please” let her sit with them?

That isn’t cool.

Classy brides know they need a seating chart and will bear that cross with a grin ... or at least, a martini.

Here are a few tips to help you easily make your wedding reception seating chart.

1. Start Early
I know people won’t RSVP early-or even on time-or even, at all … but there are some people you know will attend. Feel free to call close friends and family members early and confirm they are attending so you can get them on the charts. The same can be done with out-of-town guests.

2. Make an Outline
Well … sort of. Make a graph and pencil in where you will put your VIPs. VIPs include you and your groom, both sets of parents, grandparents, siblings and special relatives, and your wedding party.



3. Let Your Guests Help
Not sure if you should put children at special “children-only” tables or with their parents? Ask them. I knew many of the kids at my wedding would know each other well and would want to sit together. I also realized that my friends’ children might not be comfortable with new people and would prefer to sit with their parents. Ask your guests what they or they children prefer and seat them accordingly.

Along those same lines, assign people you know well to help manage tables. For example, when I got married, my husband’s first cousin from Italy flew to Texas for the event. I knew he would spend several pre-wedding days with other members of the bridal party and I also knew the priest would want to speak Italian with him. I asked some members of my bridal party if they minded sitting with the priest and cousin to make the evening go smoothly for everyone. They agreed and in fact, probably had more fun than any other table.


4. Assign Tables-Not Seats
If the idea is just to have a seat for everyone and to help your guests mingle a little, then assign tables-not seats. This is much easier for you to do.

You don’t have to worry about putting people next to each other and hoping they mesh and you don’t have to make individual place cards. Just create escort cards-a card that includes the person’s name and table number ... and voila! You are done. Visit American Greetings to create your own escort cards or check out Documents and Designs for inspiration.

For even more seating chart tips, read through The Perfect Table Plan site or go to Softlist.Net for free seating chart downloads.

Have you thought about your seating chart? Or even better … have you created it?

Photos courtesy of supermuch and kisokiso