Three Steps to Choosing Your Wedding Attendants

Come on, you know you’ve thought of it. You’ve been scribbling names on your bridesmaids list since you were 10 and marking people off that list since you were 11. I’m right, aren’t I?

Well, in case you have lost that list somewhere along the way, here are some tips to help you choose your attendants.

But before we get to that, we need to talk numbers.

You should already have an idea of the number of wedding attendants you want in your wedding. But remember the “numbers” do not have to match up. It is ok if you have six gals and he only has five men. There are plenty of creative walking and photography options. Do not let this strict idea of having a matching number of men and women keep you from including all of your closest friends and family members. And now ... here are

Three Ways to Help You Choose Wedding Attendants

1. Envision your Wedding Day

Bridesmaids play an important role in your wedding. They are called on to help with planning, stuff invitations and help you choose a dress. They are responsible for hosting a bridal shower and a girls night party.

You will spend a great deal of time with these girls, so you need to like them enough to want to be around them. They should bring out the positives in you and calm you when you are nervous.

I knew I wanted to spend the day of my wedding surrounded by my favorite people. I wanted to be with people who have a calming effect on me. I wanted people who relax me and who can make me laugh. But most of all, I wanted people who get along well with other people.

2. Make a List (yes, that is my answer for everything … just stay with me)

Write a list of everyone who you would like to be in your wedding. Then, write a list of everyone who should be in your wedding. This includes demanding cousins, your fiance's brother’s girlfriend and possibly married friends who asked you to be in their wedding.

3. Cross ‘em and Select ‘em

Put a star beside everyone you want in your wedding. Think about why you want that person to stand with you on your wedding day. Ask yourself

- How long have you known this person?
- How have they demonstrated their friendship and loyalty?
- Will you have to tell your children who this person is when they look at your wedding pictures in 20 years or will this person still be in your life?

Now look at the people who you think should be in your wedding and ask yourself why.

- Were you in her wedding and you feel you owe it to her?
- Did she or someone close to you ask if she could be in your wedding?

You don’t owe anyone a place in your wedding party. It is your wedding and you should have the people you want standing with you on your day.

However, consider the consequences of not asking someone. For example, even if you don’t know your fiance’s first cousin well, he may be really close to her. It is his wedding day, too and a good marriage should start with compromise. Is it worth it if hurt feelings never heal?

Choosing your wedding attendants is a tough job. When I got married, I had a relative who tried to insist that two or three of my cousins should be in my wedding. I had relatives call me and tell me they’d be “really pissed if I didn’t ask.” Even my mother tried to smooth the situation by asking me why I didn’t just add them.

The bottom line is that I wanted a group of girls who would all mesh well together. I was in a wedding once where there was a catty divide between the high school friends and the college friends and the whole experience was miserable. On the other hand, I’ve been in weddings where everyone’s personality meshed and when the wedding events were over, we’d made new friends. That is what I wanted. You decide what you really want for your day, consider the consequences and make your choice.

Once you have, the fun can begin!

Photos courtesy of Lan Bui

The Most Romantic Day of the Year: Fresh Ideas for a Valentine's Day Wedding

Weddings are always special, but nothing says “romance” like Valentine’s Day nuptials. Besides the obvious red roses and pink hearts, there are certain things you can do to add a touch of class while ensuring your Valentine’s Day wedding is a success.

A bride should always remember that “her special day” is still a-day-in-the-life of everyone else.
Think about it... your guests could go anywhere they want, but they are choosing to spend your wedding day with you. It's especially important to remember this when your wedding coincides with a holiday. So make your guests your priority when planning your Valentine's Day wedding and make them an offer they can’t refuse.



Colors
Sure red, white and pink scream Valentine’s Day, but modern brides should opt for a little diversity. Consider other romantic colors such as:
- Deep purple and regal blue
- Shades of deep red or burgundy
- Bright white and silver, with a dash of blood red

Think traditional Valentine's Day colors are more your style? Then consider
- Red and deep brown
- Light pink and shimmering silver

The key is to choose your colors and stick to them. Those red heart-shaped candles might be perfect table decorations for a Valentine’s Day wedding, but if you chose shades of ivory and blush pink for everything else, they might look out of place. Keep this in mind as you select colors and shop for items.


Stationery
Set the tone and notify guests of your Valentine’s Day wedding well in advance. Consider sending your invitations 10 weeks prior to your wedding so guests can discuss the option with their spouse/significant other or date and plan to celebrate Valentine’s Day at your wedding.

American Greetings has an array of printable invitations, bags, labels, and other printable products. Be creative. I like the idea of sending a “Be Our Valentine” card to your guests and asking them to join you for a Valentine’s Day wedding celebration.

Decorations
When I think of romance I think of soft fabrics, airy space and lots of miniature lights and candles. Think about the most romantic restaurant you and your future hubby have visited and ask yourself these three questions.

1. In general, what made the atmosphere of the restaurant romantic?
2. What one thing do you remember most about the ambiance?
3. How can you replicate it?

The idea behind a Valentine's Day wedding is romance, and that means more than hearts and flowers.

Music
Nothing says romance like a string quartet or strolling musician. If your budget allows, hire a violinist to walk throughout your reception, pausing at least once at every table. If your budget doesn’t allow for live musicians for the entire reception, consider hiring one person to play for the cocktail hour, then hire a DJ for the rest of the night.

Play Valentine songs as your guests enter the dining area, such as “My Funny Valentine,” by Frank Sinatra, “Valentine,” by Jim Brickman and Martina McBride and “Lady Valentine” by David Gates.


Extras
Consider adding these special touches to your Valentine’s Day wedding.

- Instead of naming your tables by numbers, name them after Valentine’s Day icons. You could have the “Kisses Table,” “The Red Rose Table,” “The Chalky Candy Hearts Table.” Brainstorm with your friends and have fun.

- Send your guests off with a small heart-shaped box of chocolates.

- Give each female guest a red rose as she enters the wedding ceremony.

Just remember, you will have many more Valentine’s Days to spend with your soon-to-be-spouse, but you-and likely your guests-will only get one chance for a day like this. So take the time and plan ahead to ensure your Valentine's Day wedding will be the best Valentine's Day your guests have ever had. They'll thank you for it!

Photos courtesy of Venson Kuchipudi, javaloca, and erloteiel

Something Different: A Creative Guest Book Idea from Photoworks

You have probably talked to brides who said their wedding day was a blur … that everything passed too quickly and they’d love to go back and see it again in slow motion.

Well, I’m with them. With emotions reaching new heights and the rush of adrenaline - and estrogen - you will have that day there are likely to be some things you miss. So plan ahead.


You know guests books are an essential element at any wedding. They record the names of the people who attended your wedding and they are meant to be a lasting memorial to your Big Day.

Traditionally, guest books were small journals purchased in the bride's wedding colors. Guests would stand in line, sign their names and the book was tossed into a dusty box post-wedding never to be peered into again.


Recently guests books have become part of the wedding decor and are decorated in seasonal elements or theme-related designs, but still serve the same purpose and meet the same dust-filled fate.

So here is a new idea.

Photoworks.com has a program that allows customers to create a personalized photo album directly from their website. Customers upload pictures, add text and choose from a variety of page colors, layouts and fonts.

But here is how it becomes a wedding guest book.

1. Choose some of your favorite photos of you and future hubby - both of you together as a couple and individual photos. Throw in some pics of the two of you as babies, as well as some pictures of you growing up with your parents and siblings. Be careful of adding pictures of you with friends, as you might hurt feelings if some friends make the cut and others don't.

Choose pictures that tell the story of your lives. If you like to travel together, show pictures of the two of you on vacation. If you met in college, show pictures from your Alma Mater. Don't be ashamed to show silly pictures. They add to the charm of the book.

2. Go to the front page of the photo book section of the website and select the size of book you would like to use.

3. Depending on the book, you will be able to change the front and back color at this point. But don't worry, you can always go back later and make more changes.

4. Upload your photos.

5. Click "change page layout" to alter the number of pictures and to add text-only pages to your book.

6. You will need to play around with your options here and determine the line size and appropriate spacing so your guests will have room to write on the lines.

7. Add interest to your guest book by changing the layout, but use the same font type and color throughout the book to maintain consistency.

8. Click the "design options" tab so you can change the font, add borders or alter page colors.

9. Preview and order.

Instead of asking your guests to simply sign your guest book, ask them to write you a message. They will enjoy the gesture and you will have a book you will be proud to display in your new home year-round.

** When you receive your book in the mail, test several pen types and colors to ensure your guests' memoirs don't rub off of the page.

Photos courtesy of frogsrockmysocks.

Four Tips to Help You Set Your Wedding Budget

You have spent the first few weeks of your engagement showing off the ring, boasting to your pals and basically floating through your workday.

But it is time to get serious.

Unless your mama is Vera Wang or your Aunt Sylvia and Uncle Preston are taking care of your cake and floral arrangements gratis, you will need to set a budget.

And trust me, ladies ... this ain't fun.

In fact, it is probably the least fun aspect of wedding planning. But let's face it... it has to be done and the earlier this task is completed, the more time you will have for tracking down the elements you need to make your wedding day special.

So without procrastinating another day - here are four tips to help you set your wedding budget.

1. Pool Your Resources

Have a meeting with each person who will be contributing to your wedding fund and see how much they plan to kick in. While some people still rely on the old-school system that stripped the bride's family of a year's salary, modern couples are spreading the wealth ... or, well the debt.

See where your families stand. Some parents happily hand over a blank check, while others might offer to pick up the tab for a specific aspect of the wedding, such as photography or floral.

2. Divvy it Up

Now that you have a number to work with, you need to determine what percentage of your budget will go to each category. For example, the general rule is that 10% of your overall budget is usually spent on flowers, however every couple has different priorities and costs vary greatly from state to state.

For help in allocating your budget, I like the budget calculator at WeddingChannel.com. It is extremely thorough and you can enter your estimated budget, guest headcount and number of attendants and they do the rest.

3. Get Creative

So what are you going to do if you have pooled your resources and divvied up the dough and you don't have enough in the pool for your ideal wedding? Well, until money starts sprouting from the tree outside your bedroom window - and if it does ... hook me up! - you might be tempted to max out credit cards or dip into your savings.

I know you have heard it before, but please.don't.do.this. Instead, get creative and think of ways you can earn extra cash that can be used exclusively for your wedding. Are you a trained musician? If so, consider giving private lessons in the evenings or on weekends. Are you near a college or university? Check with their testing center to see if they are hiring part-time proctors. The idea here isn't to borrow more money for your wedding - but to make more money.

4. Stay Positive

Believe me, I know it's easy to get depressed when you look at your budget calculator, find a new checklist or realize you have forgotten expenses like attendant gifts, bridesmaid's lunch or your hair and nail appointments. However, the key to wedding planning - regardless of what stage you are in - is to stay positive.

Remember, millions of women have gone through this before and have lived to tell heartwarming tales and inspirational stories of their wedding days. Tell your fiance when you feel stressed and chances are he will have you relaxed in no time ... and it will be easy to remember why you said "yes" in the first place.

Everyone has different budget priorities. When I got married, my priorities were food, reception location and atmosphere. What are some of your priorities?

Images courtesy of ken@okinawa

I Said Yes! Now What? The First Three Steps in Planning Your Wedding

He popped the question and you said "YES!" It was magical. It was romantic. It was timeless.

Now you have to pull your happily engaged self back to planet Earth and start planning the biggest party of your life.

But what are you going to do? Where do you look first? Where do you start?

I'm going to assume you've already belted your newly-engaged status from the top of your roof, told your parents, his parents and all of your friends.

I'm also hoping you haven't already promised all your friends, your fiance's siblings and your co-worker's cousins a place in the wedding party. You haven't have you ... because we'll discuss selecting your wedding party next week ...

For now, here are the first three steps in planning your wedding ... once your feet have returned to the ground and your head is more or less out of those clouds.

#1 - Get Organized


Even if organization is not your thing, no especially if organization is not your thing, you need to make "getting organized" your top priority. You will want a place to collect pictures, magazine ads and notes and there is no better way to do that than in your personal wedding binder.

Sure you could purchase a pre-made wedding binder at your local bookstore. They have inspirational photos, checklists and wedding planning tips that might come in helpful through your planning stages.

However, I recommend making your own binder. Purchase a three-ring binder, dividers, plastic protector sheets and erasable tabs. The sections of your binder will change as you get closer to the Big Day, so having erasable tabs and sections you can easily move around will be essential to staying organized.

On another note, organized brides make a better impression on wedding vendors and they will be more likely to take you seriously and possibly offer you a better price, than your unorganized counterparts.

#2 - Have a tête-à-tête with your fiance


Before you can make any major wedding-related decisions, you have to ensure you and your fiance are on the same page. You might not be able to discuss a wedding date at this point (you will need to confirm with vendors and venues first) but you should discuss a general wedding season, or better yet, a wedding month.

Ask your fiance what he thinks of when he sees your wedding day. Discuss the "feel" of your wedding, estimate the number of guests you want to invite and set a budget.

It is also a good idea to ask him upfront how involved he wants to be in the decision-making process. Some grooms defer most details to the bride and only want to help with major decisions - such as date, location and guest count. I've seen other grooms who want to help choose linens and fonts.

See where your guy stands so there are no hurt feelings down the line.

#3 - Brainstorm


If you aren't on a strict time limit with your wedding planning - less than six months, for example - then allow yourself time to dream. Peruse magazines, websites and bookstores and save anything that might be remotely interesting to you - and put it in your new binder.

Dream big at this point. If you fall in love with a $2,000 wedding cake you can't afford, save the picture anyway. You can likely find a local baker who can recreate the cake at a fraction of the cost. Don't think in terms of what you can't do - think of what you can!

What are some of the first things you did when you got engaged? What would you do differently if you could go back? What advice do you have for other newly engaged gals?

Photos courtesy of disneymike, bigcharvey, rmathus, romanlily

5 Wedding New Year's Resolutions

As my week of celebrating the New Year continues, I thought I would write a post on wedding New Year's resolutions. I saw a recent article on TheKnot that mentioned a bunch of rules that brides should follow, so that was my inspiration for wedding New Year's resolutions. These are resolutions that brides should take into consideration when planning their wedding in 2009.

1. I (The Bride) won't revise or peek at my gift registry.
Two problems are being addressed in this one, but one root of evil - the online registry. So now stores make it so easy for a bride with online registry access, right? Wrong! This only helps brides obsess over looking at their registry to see what people bought them and making tons of changes. Do it once and and make at most 2 revisions, then leave it alone and enjoy getting the gifts.

2. I (The Bride) won't make my bridesmaids crazy with matching shoes, hair styles, jewelry, nail polish, make-up or underwear. (And yes I have seen this one)
Now I can talk the talk, but I have to admit that I was a bit out of control when it came to this. Yes, you want to make sure that your bridesmaids look nice and the pictures will turn out great, but really, if you chose someone to be in your wedding who you worry will wear some crazy color shoes or gaudy jewelry, then you shouldn't choose them for your wedding.

3. I (The Bride) will stick to the budget.
One of the biggest issues couples have with weddings is going over budget. More and more I read about couples that blew way past their budget. What's even worse is that either the parents get stuck with the large tab or couples take on large credit card debt to pay for it. Take a stand, as much as I know you want to have the chocolate fountain, butler passed hors d'oeuvres, present-box invitations and fireworks - just take a minute to reevaluate what the most important elements are for your wedding.

4. I (The Bride) will not ask, whine, meddle, spy or get mad about his bachelor party.
This makes me laugh. I have had numerous friends ask me to go with them to spy at their fiancé's bachelor party and others that get into an all out fight over it. I say, if there is reason you are worried about him having too much fun at his bachelor party, then maybe you should rethink the wedding. Lighten up ladies. Go have a blast at your bachelorette party and enjoy your "last night."

5. I (The Bride) can make sensible weight goals.
I have heard horror stories on this one. Some brides get so into a diet or exercise that they actually make themselves extremely sick. Others have done crash diets and wonder why their dress is too big, and some even get mad at themselves when they don't reach their "goal" weight when really it wasn't that feasible at all. Yes you want to look your best on your wedding day, but diet and exercise the right way. No crazy fad or crash diets, it will only end up making you sick or causing other problems. Try going to a trainer, or go to Curves and have them tell you what your ideal weight should be. Then have them calculate what realistically you could be by your wedding date. That way, meeting that goal is safer, easier and a lot more pleasing when you meet it.

It's not too late to add these wedding New Year's resolutions to your list. Have any others on your list?

Wednesday Wedding Feature - Wedding Photo Calendar

In lieu of the New Year, I thought I would feature a product that a lot of people buy come January, a photo calendar. Lots of people head out to the stores to pick up a calendar and a lot of the times they don't really even pay attention to what's on it. Why get a calendar that you are going to have to look at for 365 days and see random images? Why not make it special to you and make a photo calendar of your wedding pictures? PhotoWorks offers a variety of photo calendars. You can choose from different sizes, styles and themes.


Maybe you aren't one of those people who likes staring at pictures of yourself. Try something different with your photo calendar. Make your own scenic photo calendar with pictures from your honeymoon.


The year after I got married I made 2 photo calendars. One had a variety of pictures of my husband and I with our friends and family the day of our wedding. The other had beautiful pictures I took of Jamaica on our honeymoon. We put one upstairs in our office, the photo calendar with the scenic pictures (reminding ourselves why we work) and the other one downstairs. It was nice to see those pictures around our house and they really were a conversation piece when people came over. So try something new this year and make a wedding photo calendar you can enjoy year round.