Tuesday, August 5, 2008

More Wedding Stresses Solved!

The other day we discussed those nasty stressors that take so much energy from you during your wedding planning. Here are some more stress points and how to deal them!

  • People who expect to be paid and want as much from you as possible.
Dealing with wedding vendors can be a big pain. These are folks who want to make money. It's their job to try and pressure you into purchasing a more expensive option than your wedding budget allows. If you are tempted to accede to their demands, go home and sleep on it.

If it's not in your budget, you have to make sure that they understand it's nothing personal, you just don't have the money. Getting away from them to make the decision and not having to stare into their puppy dog eyes while saying "no" is much easier – and less stressful!

Just tell them: "that's not really in my wedding budget, I'll have to go home and see if I can move some things around and get back to you."

  • "And in this corner…"
We all have them, those lovely folks – either our parents, relatives or even friends – who are divorced, divorcing, breaking up or just fighting – and they don't want to sit together. My grandmother didn't talk to her husband's cousin for years and at all weddings and such, they had to be separated for the comfort of the other guests.

So you have to take preemptive action. Sit down with them to say: "I'm so glad you're coming to my wedding. I hope you can do me a big favor. You fight so much, and I really want the focus of our wedding to be on love. Do you mind doing everything in your power to be civil just for that one day?" Remember, if they do bicker at your wedding, you'll probably be so caught up in everything else, you won't even notice.

  • And what are the the greatest stressors of all? You BOTH are!
Weddings are stressful, and the person you will be around the most is soon to be your other half. Too often you hear: "He's not doing anything to help with the wedding" and, "she never talks about anything other than the wedding." Avoid this with some simple planning.

Sit down with a wedding planner (the book, not the person) and divide up the list of tasks into bride's responsibilities, groom's responsibilities, and what you are going to do together. Each of you will know that you have creative control for what's on your list, and what you are responsible for. (That doesn't mean you won't discuss the task, but you will have the responsibility of getting it done.) Post the list in prominent locations in your house(s) and agree to have check-in meetings once a month or so about where you are.

Next, sit down with a calendar. Figure out when you have time to schedule a couple of hours each week to deal with wedding stuff together. A lot of it will be fun - checking out potential venues, eating cake at tastings, and practicing dance moves.

Then schedule a NO WEDDING night. This is perhaps the most important thing to stop you from stressing each other out. One night a week, neither of you are allowed to mention the word wedding or anything wedding-related. This can be a date night, or just a relaxing at home together night to remind you why you're going through all this craziness in the first place!

Soon we will talk about other ways to lessen the stress and increase the fun in planning your wedding!

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