Wedding Woo

Who to Tip, When to Tip, and How Much to Tip: A Guide to Wedding Vendor Tips

2009-09-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

As if thousand dollar cakes, cars and corsages weren’t enough to stress out even the most well-intending budget-minded bride, you also have to worry about rules.

And no, I’m not talking about these rules. Or even these.

I’m talking about who you have tip, when you have to tip and-most importantly-how much you have to tip.

It is downright mind-boggling!

But there is help.

According to TheKnot.com, unless service charges are outlined in your contract, you aren’t obligated to tip. That being said, many vendors appreciate-and secretly expect-a little extra love. So here is your own little mini-guide to wedding vendor tipping to help you understand who to tip, when to tip them and how much to tip!

Optional:

Wedding Planner
Your wedding planner doesn’t expect a tip, however if she went above and beyond her duties, feel free to offer her a token gift and/or offer to write a testimonial for her website or brochures. As the bride, you will have likely spent most of the time with your planner. You can create a specially-crafted thank you card from American Greetings, enclose the check and either hand it to her discreetly at the end of the night or mail it to her following your honeymoon. The standard gift is up to $500.00

Musicians - Ceremony Musicians
This depends on who your musicians are and if you are already paying them to perform at your wedding. Many churches require their organist to be on-site and include their payment in with your rental fees. If this is the case, there is no need to tip. Otherwise, you can tip between $15-20 per musician after the ceremony.

- Reception Musicians, such as DJ or Band
Again, this is an optional group to tip, but if they worked hard to engage your crowd, were easy to meet with before the wedding and pulled your wedding off without a hitch, then feel free to ask the best man to slip them an envelope at the end of the night. The standard is $20-$25 per live musician and up to $100 for the DJ.

Videographers / Photographers
Absolutely not expected, but if you are feeling generous, some people tip photographers and videographers who don’t own the studio between $50-$200 per person at the end of the reception.

Expected:

Officiant
Although this falls into the “expected” category, it really depends on who the officiant is, whether he is affiliated with a church to which you have already made a donation or if you are already paying a nondenominational officiant for his time. The standard tip is $75-$100 per officiant and is usually paid in advance.

Delivery and Set-Up Staff
This group, including anyone who sets up items such as your cake, flowers, tents, chairs, etc gets a tip that ranges from $5-$10 per person. So you don’t have to worry about this on the Big Day, give your catering manager or wedding planner an envelope the day before your wedding and ask her to distribute the tips accordingly.

Hair and Makeup Staff
Just like you do when getting your trim, add in 15%-20% percent of the service and give it to your stylists once you are happy with your look.

Catering Staff
This group, including the on-site coordinator, banquet manager and servers get a tip, however read your fine print … it is often already added to your bill in the form of a service charge. If it isn't, expect to pay 15%-20% of the food and beverage fee, pre-tax. If it is included as a service charge, then you will likely settle this bill a few days before the wedding, otherwise, ask the best man to deliver an envelope to the maitre d’ at the end of the reception.

Transportation
Just like with your catering staff, your driver’s tip is likely included in your transportation rental fee. If not, plan on 15%-20% percent of the final bill and ask the best man to hand it to the driver at the end of the night.

Do you have any other questions about tipping? If so, ask away!

Photo courtesy of jtyerse

Ethnic and Cultural Wedding Traditions, Part I

2009-09-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things about America is the multiple cultures, customs and traditions we share with our ancestors across the globe and there is no better time to honor your heritage than during your wedding. In part I of a two-part series on incorporating ethnic and cultural traditions into your wedding, I present you with ...

My Big, Fat Greek, Italian, Irish, Chinese Wedding: Traditions and Customs from Around the World.

Greek Wedding Customs

- For luck, abundance and a sweet marriage, a Greek bride carries a lump of sugar in her glove during the ceremony.

- To represent the Holy Trinity, the best man exchanges the rings between the bride and the groom three times.

- Two crowns made of either gold or twigs and orange blossoms are exchanged three times between the bride’s and groom’s heads.

- The crowned couple circles the church alter three times, representing their first steps together as a married couple.

For more Greek wedding customs, visit BrideHeaven.

Italian Wedding Customs

- It is customary for couples in northern Italy to walk to the wedding chapel together.

- To ward off evil spirits, an Italian groom carries a small piece of iron in his pocket.

- White candied-covered almonds called confetti symbolize good luck and fertility and are often tossed at the couple as they exit the church. Confetti are also wrapped in mesh bags and distributed to guests during the reception.

- To “raise funds” during the wedding reception, the groom’s friends cut his wedding tie into small pieces and sell them to guests as mementos of the day.

For more Italian wedding customs, visit WeddingItaly.

Irish Wedding Customs

- Irish brides consider it bad luck to put on their own veil. Instead, they ask a happily-married woman to put it on for her.

- English lavender, a symbol of love, loyalty and devotion is often mixed into the bride’s wedding flowers.

- An Irish bride usually braids her hair for her wedding day to symbolize feminine power and luck.

- A wedding on Saint Patrick’s Day is considered to be the luckiest anniversary in Ireland.

- The bride usually wears a ring called a Claddagh, which is a crowned heart held by two hands, representing faith, honor and love. The ring’s motto is “Let love and friendship reign.”

For more Irish wedding customs visit IrelandInformation.

Chinese Wedding Customs

- Red signifies love, joy and prosperity and is central to a Chinese wedding.

- The bride’s gown is often red, as are the invitations, favor boxes and envelopes. The couple’s homes are decorated in red on the day of the wedding.

- A Chinese groom is symbolically dressed by his parents on the morning of his wedding.

- The groom visits the bride’s home on his way to the ceremony and presents her friends with a cash gift wrapped in red tissue in exchange for letting her go.

- The bride and groom travel to the ceremony together.

For more Chinese wedding customs visit ChineseWeddings.

Be sure to come back next week for fresh ideas on incorporating these traditions into your wedding.

Photos courtesy of clea teclea, pigliapost, xyldes and CeeKay

Four Common Wedding Attendant Roles (and their responsibilities)

2009-09-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

Some people are natural-born athletes, others naturally gifted speakers, and still others are born with that innate gift to understand people and accept responsibilities. And then there are the people you have to push.

Same goes with your wedding attendants.

Some of the people you have asked into your wedding posse will automatically understand their role and know what they are supposed to do-and when they are supposed to do it. But others might need a little help.

Here are four of the most common wedding attendant roles and the responsibilities they have been waiting for you to pass on to them.

Maid /Matron of Honor
Pre and Post-Wedding
- assist bride in selecting her gown (either by helping her in person or by helping her track down her dress online)
- help bride select attire for herself and other bridesmaids
- assist bride with addressing invitations and organizing favors (this is especially fun if the bride can plan a girls night to finish wedding-related tasks)
- host bridal shower, with help from bridesmaids
- host bachelorette party, with assistance from other bridesmaids
- communicate with bridesmaids regarding dress shopping, fittings and gown delivery dates (for brides and attendants with iPhones, check out the new American Greetings iPhone app that lets you send personalized card photos directly to any email address)
- ensure bridesmaids have shoes and other accessories
- attend the rehearsal (and the dinner!)
- pay for her own wedding attire and accessories
- pay for her travel and lodging expenses

Wedding day
- assist the bride when she gets dressed
- accompany the bride to the ceremony
- carry the bride’s train as she walks to the ceremony room
- straighten the bride's veil and train before she walks down the aisle (and make sure her lipstick and mascara are all in place!)
- adjust the bride’s train after she stops at the front of the alter
- hold the bride's bouquet and the groom’s ring during ceremony
- make a toast to the bride and groom
- assist the bride with bustling her train before the reception
- accompany the bride to restroom during reception (and hold on to napkins, lipstick and breath mints that she might need throughout the night)
- gather mementos for the bride, such as program, favors, toasting glasses, etc.

Best Man
Pre and Post-Wedding
- assist the groom with tux / suit selection and notify groomsmen and ushers
- plan the bachelor party, with assistance from groomsmen and ushers
- attend rehearsal (if he is from the same town, he can offer to help transport out of town wedding attendants)
- collect tux rentals from out of town groomsmen and return them (so the bride and groom don’t have to worry about this on the first day of their honeymoon)
- pay for his wedding suit and accessories
- pay for his travel and lodging expenses

Wedding day
- assist groom with preparing transportation
- assist groom with getting ready for the wedding
- drive the groom to the ceremony
- hold the bride's ring during the wedding ceremony
- deliver the marriage license and payment to the officiant
- make first toast to the bride and groom (remember to keep it short and sweet-and clean!)
- transfer bride and groom's luggage to car or hotel room
- make sure car is ready for bride and groom to leave reception

Bridesmaids
- assist bride and maid of honor with dress selection (if the bride is unsure of what she wants, bridesmaids can help her brainstorm ideas and look up dress suggestions online)
- offer to help bride with addressing invitations or any DIY projects
- assist the maid of honor with hosting the shower and bachelorette party
- attend the rehearsal
- arrive at the ceremony site on time
- pay for their wedding attire and accessories, including hair and make-up
- pay for any travel and lodging expenses

Groomsmen / Ushers
- assist the best man in hosting the bachelor party
- attend the rehearsal
- arrive at the ceremony location on time
- pay for his wedding attire and accessories
- pay for his travel and lodging expenses

Did I leave anything out? What other duties do you think are important for wedding attendants?

Photo courtesy of pixieclipx

Eight Tips for Wedding Day Transportation

2009-09-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

While it might not top your list of things to plan for your Big Day, wedding transportation is an important element of the day and is too often overlooked by busy, budget-conscience brides.

Can you imagine anything worse than hoping in the car with your new husband and being crushed between your mom and his dad? Uhm. Neither can I.

If you’d like to keep that classy exit in line with the other dazzling details of your wedding day, then read on. Here are five tips for choosing wedding day transportation and three things to keep in mind when scheduling the day.

Five Tips for Choosing Wedding Day Transportation

1. Remember Your Style
Back in March we discussed knowing your wedding day style and it is important to keep that in mind when selecting your get-a-way car. If you are having an uber-chic, modern wedding, then Cinderella’s carriage likely won’t go with your style du jour. On the other hand, Cinderella might not hop on a Harley.

2. Don’t Blow Your Budget
Yes, I know I just said it was important, but it is not budget-blowing important. Determine the maximum amount you can spend on wedding day transportation and choose options that fit within your specifications.

3. Plan for the Day
I know this sounds obvious, but take a few minutes and really think about the transportation you and your soon-to-be will need for your wedding day. Do you need to be transported to the ceremony, from the ceremony to reception and from the reception to your wedding night hotel? Do you just want transportation to make your “Big Exit?” When will you make your Big Exit-from the ceremony or from the reception?

4. Think of the “Others”
And “the others” I am referring to here are the parents, siblings and attendants who might also need transportation. If, for example, you hire a limo to transport you, your groom, your families and attendants to the ceremony, how will they get from the ceremony to the reception, assuming you and your groom travel that road alone?

5. Plan in Advance
Like many other aspects of your wedding, transportation options, especially is smaller cities or rural areas can book up quickly. Be sure to get a contract with important details, such as hourly rate, overtime rate and the exact car they will send for your wedding, in writing.

Three Things to Keep in Mind Regarding Scheduling

1. People
In most instances, guests will transport themselves to and from the wedding ceremony and reception. You know your group and you are likely to know who, if anyone, needs special assistance. If you are transporting more than one group in the same car, for example, the bride and her attendants, the groom and his attendants and special family members, be sure to plan accordingly.

2. Distance
When scheduling your car, speak to the driver regarding the specifics of the trip, ensure he has directions and knows where to park and confirm he has the schedule you sent to the company. (You will need to send a detailed schedule to the company a few days before the wedding.)

If the car has to make those multiple trips we described above, be sure to leave ample time for the car to go-and return-to the original location.

3. Timing
Be sure to plan for your car to drop you off well in advance of your guests’ arrival. You don’t want to walk up to the church next to your cousin’s new girlfriend. Even if you have to pay a little more, plan to have the bride and groom, and their attendants, to the ceremony early.

What other tips and advice do you have regarding wedding day transportation?

Photo courtesy of Caribb

Using Social Media to Plan Your Wedding

2009-09-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

Remember the old days when you would go to some generic-sounding search engine, type in your request and wait for a list of most-relevant websites to flash before you? And you thought that was cool?

Well, this ain’t your grandmother’s Internet, anymore. The social media sites of today are making it easier than ever for Internet-users to track down the information they need-when they want it-and share that information with the World Wide Web.

There is no doubt you already have a Facebook account, maybe you like to Stumble and you Tweet with your Twits every chance you get. But if you aren’t using these social media sites to help you plan your wedding, well … you are missing a piece of the Social Media puzzle.

Here are three of the best social media websites to use for planning your wedding!

Facebook
We will start with the Mother of all Social Media websites, not only because the likelihood of you having an existing account are a zillion to one, but also because it is the easiest way for you to get started using social media to plan your wedding.

Did you know you could create a Facebook group specifically for the people you’ve invited to your wedding? It is a fun-and easy-way to keep everyone in the loop and helps keep out of town guests in the know. It can also be a great way to help build excitement for your upcoming nuptials.

If you are having a large number of attendants in your wedding, you could also create a group just for them. American Greetings recently introduced a new program that lets users send ecards directly to Facebook. This is yet another way you can woo your attendants and keep them motivated for your wedding.

Twitter
Twitter is changing the way we share online information … 140 little characters at a time. If you don’t already have a Twitter account, you can get started here. Then, you can search for wedding bloggers, website owners and vendors and follow them. Sometimes they offer discounts, the latest news and reviews. You can also follow me, if you are so inclined!

StumbleUpon
StumbleUpon, or SU, is one of my favorite social media sites. I use it every day to quickly search through websites other Internet users have already tagged as worthy. All you need to do is sign up for an account, download the SU bar to your browser and start stumbling. To find relevant wedding sites, go to your homepage and in the upper right-hand corner, enter the search terms in the green box.

E’ voila! It is that simple.

** Remember, you can have too much of a good thing. Don’t go overboard with any of these outlets, spam your friends an overdose of wedding-related news and never (say it with me, never!) send wedding or shower invites via social media.

Do you use Social Media to help you in your wedding planning? If so, what sites do you recommend?

More Wedding Guest Etiquette Q&A

2009-09-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Last week we discussed three of the most frequently asked questions regarding wedding guest etiquette. But that list was far from complete.

Today we are back to answer your etiquette questions regarding your guests and their little tagalongs.

Q: What to do when kids aren't invited and you're put on the spot when someone says, "but isn't it different for us since we are family?”

WW: Weddings bring out the best in people. Most of the time they are in a good mood, they are generous, they feel loving. Unfortunately, dear Bride-to-Be, it also brings out the worst. Many people can’t understand why you would want to exclude their little darlings from your Big Day and they can get down-right offended if their kiddos aren’t invited.

However, if you and your future spouse have opted for an adults-only wedding, then you have to stick your ground.

If you are put on the spot, tell the offending party that, unfortunately, the no-kids rule goes for family members, too.

If you feel like you must explain your decision-which you aren’t required to do, by the way-tell them you and your fiance have opted for an adults-only wedding. Stress the fact that it would make you look bad if non-family member guests showed up sans children, only to see other kids running and playing throughout the event.

If you can’t think of this quickly enough when you are on the spot, then call the family member as soon as possible and clarify the situation. Again, elaborate only where you feel you must and assure your wedding guest that it isn’t a personal attack on their children.

It is also perfectly acceptable for you to call guests who RSVP for their children and remind them you are having an adults-only reception.

Q: How do you handle guests who bring their children to an adults-only wedding, then the child proceeds to cry during the ceremony and doesn’t have a seat or meal at the reception?

WW: My number ONE rule for you regarding wedding day mishaps is to let it go. DON'T let any of your guests have that much control over you or your feelings on your wedding day.

However, if you are concerned this might happen, a little advance planning can go a long way to ease your worries.

Ceremony:
Ask a friend to monitor for children entering the ceremony and tell her to direct all families with children either to the cry room (of a church) or to the back row.

This same friend can help control crying babies by politely asking their parents to step outside until the ceremony has ended.

Reception:
Always plan for extra guests at your reception, either by leaving one or two seats open per table, or by asking your caterer to set an extra table for guests who didn't RSVP.

Did you experience anything like this during your wedding? How did you react?

Photos courtesy of jalvear and Xtream_i

Bachelorette Party Buzz: Get Your Girls Talking!

2009-08-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, ok … so as the bride-to-be, it is not your place to plan your big bash. But, let’s face it. We all want some kind of send off from the single world we grew up in and we hope our friends will honor that event with style.

Since you can’t approach your friends and ask them if they plan on throwing you a bachelorette party … what can you do to start the discussion and get those fun girls’ night ideas flowing? Here are a couple of ideas that might help.

1. Host Your Own Party

Noooo, not your bachelorette party … just a fun, girls-only party. Gather your bridesmaids, sisters and cousins and invite them to your place for a Girls’ Night In. Choose a theme based on your group’s personality. Some examples include:

- Margaritas and a Movie
- Cosmos with Carrie (Sex in the City marathon)
- Popcorn and Pedis
- Flashback Fright Night (with 90s horror movies, such as I Know What You Did Last Summer and Scream)

Here are a few tips to help you pull this off.

- Plan your party at least two to three months before your wedding. You don’t want it to look like you are throwing your own Bachelorette Bash and you want to give your friends plenty of time to discuss how they'd like to honor your last weekend as a Ms.

- Host the party at your house. It will be more conducive to sharing and give you a chance to really talk to your friends.

- Speaking of friends … don’t overdo it. Instead of inviting every girl you know, limit this fest to your bridesmaids, sisters and closest female relatives.

- Don’t make this night all about your wedding. In fact, try not to talk about it at all. You’ll bore your friends with too-much wedding talk and they might feel like you invited them over to help you plan your wedding. They will likely ask you about wedding plans. If they do, share the information you are willing to share, then steer the conversation in another direction.

- Watch your budget. This doesn’t have to be an expensive event. Think of it as an excuse to hang out with your closest friends and only spend what you can afford.

- Don’t bring up the topic of your Bachelorette Party. Someone else will mention it and will likely ask your opinion. Be patient. Trust me. They’ll bring it up.

2. Talk to Your Sister

What is a sister for if you can’t talk to her about off-limits topics and delicate situations? While this advice is really only good for those of us who have a sis, she is a great person to tell about what you’d like to do-and hate to do-at your Bachelorette Party. If you won’t feel like you’ve partied unless you have hit the dance floor-tell her that. If you’d prefer a coffee shop theme with books and caps to a Las Vegas Showgirl night on the town, be sure she knows that, as well.

Looking for a few fun ideas for a Bachelorette Party? Check out these 14 ideas and themes from TheKnot.Com.

Photo courtesy of eralon

Bridal Etiquette Q&A-Top Wedding Guest Etiquette Questions Answered

2009-08-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

Every bride and her mother has an opinion on what constitutes a perfect wedding and on how perfectly the new bride executed her duties … and they are all too quick to point out if she committed a wedding faux pas.

While it is impossible for a bride to please everyone, there are certain wedding rules she should obey.

Here are three of the most frequently asked wedding guest etiquette questions and tips on how to handle these sometimes-not-so-delicate situations.

1. Do we have to send a wedding invitation to everyone who attended our engagement party?

WW: First of all, congratulations on announcing your engagement with a bang-I love engagement parties. But to answer your question … yes. Everyone who receives an invitation to your engagement party should receive an invitation to your wedding.

It is for this reason experts recommend that couples don’t do anything until they have established their guest list … just too much revolves around it.

The same goes for your wedding shower or any other pre-wedding events you have. Once again, if you invite someone to your engagement party, wedding shower or bridal shower, they will expect to be invited to the wedding.

*The exception to this is when your coworkers host a shower for you at work.

2. How do I ask guests to BYOB?

WW: Well, you don’t. Even if you are having an informal wedding, guests should never be asked to pull out their wallet (as in cash bars) or even worse-asked to bring their own liquor. It is considered poor taste. If you can’t afford a full bar, then you can either 1) limit your choices to beer and wine only 2) omit drinks during the cocktail hour or 3) shorten your reception time.

3. Do I have to include a +1 on my invitations for single guests?

WW: The short answer is NO. It is your wedding and you are not required to invite-and buy dinner for-someone you don’t know, in this case, your single guests’ dates. That being said, there are some exceptions you might want to consider:

- If any of your guests have had a long-term boyfriend/girlfriend, then that person should be included on the invitation. Use your good judgment to define “long-term” and try to be consistent with all of your guests. You want your guests to feel comfortable at your wedding, but you aren’t required to invite their boyfriend du jour to your big bash.

- Live-ins. Likely if someone has a live-in boyfriend/girlfriend, they fit in the “long-term” category above. Remember, many people consider their live-ins to be spousal and are offended if that person isn’t invited to your wedding. I know people who have declined to attend a wedding, simply because of this unfortunate oversight.

- If you have guests who are traveling a great distance, either by car or plane, or who will have to spend the night in a hotel, it is considerate to include a +1 on their invitations, even if they don’t have a long-term boyfriend/girlfriend. Put yourself in their shoes and consider how you’d feel if you had to travel a long distance, spend the night by yourself and essentially be alone throughout the wedding.

Do you have any etiquette questions? If so, leave them in the comments or send me an email at cherrye.moore@gmail.com and I’ll answer them next week!

Photo courtesy of Auntie P

Eight Ways to Keep the Romance Alive in Your Wedding (Planning)

2009-08-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

While it may seem silly that anyone planning a wedding would have to work at the romance, even newly engaged couples feel the monotony of day-to-day life. Add in the extra stress that comes-physically and financially-with wedding planning and even the strongest couples could feel the sizzle, well fizzle.

But don’t worry. It is nothing you and your soon-to-be can’t work out.

Here are eight ways to keep the romance alive in your wedding (planning).

1. Enjoy a Romantic No-Wedding-Talk Dinner
One of the biggest things grooms hate about the wedding planning process is, well, the wedding planning process. They love you, but unlike you, they don’t need-or want-to hear the nitty-gritty day in and day out.

Plan a romantic dinner for you and your honey where you vow not to talk about the wedding-at all! In fact, it is even better if you can devote only one day per week where you and your groom get together on wedding details. I did this (mostly) with my husband and it was magical. He actually listened when I brought up the wedding and I didn’t bore him to death with the dirty details.

2. Plan a Mini-Splurge Surprise
Your future husband understands how important this wedding is to you and he is (likely) ok with the back seat he has taken since he popped the question. So, how about showing him that he is still #1 by planning a surprise event that is just up his alley. Whether he is a baseball fan, would enjoy a weekend break or has a favorite restaurant, find something he’ll love-and surprise him with it!

3. Who Doesn’t Love Coupons
Speaking of things he loves … why not print out some sexy coupons at American Greetings, wrap them up and give them to him as a “just because” present.

4. Split Up (But Just for a Day)
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, so why not take a day-or if you currently live together, a night-apart? You’ll realize how much you miss each other and will have tons to talk about when you reunite.

5. The Way to a Man’s Heart …
is still through his stomach. So, to spice things up, why not recreate one of his favorite childhood dishes, make his (new) favorite meal or bake his favorite dessert? He’ll appreciate the time and effort it took you and be reminded why he asked you to be his Mrs.

6. Sexy Reminders
And I guess we could all use a reminder every now and then. When your fiancé isn’t looking, slip sweet love notes into places he’ll likely find them. I recently took an international trip without my husband. Before I left, I planted eight notes around the house, inside his CD holder, in his jeans, even between the towels. He loved it-and I loved hearing about it each time he found one.

7. Just “Get It”
No one is perfect all of the time and even your “Mr. Perfect” is bound to make a mistake. When he has to work late, forgets to call on time or doesn’t respond how you’d like him to, be understanding. It will ease his tension, keep you in a good mood and help you both foresee your beautiful life together.

8. Turn Off the TV
Even the strongest couples get into the bad habit of turning on the TV when they walk in the door or crashing in front of a good movie before they go to sleep. Instead of having a movie night, why not pop open a bottle of wine and talk … about your day, about what is going on with your friends and families and about your hopes and dreams.

Looking for more ideas? Cosmo recently listed 23 ways to keep your romance live on their website. It’s fun stuff and definitely worth checking out.

Photos courtesy of Mr. Brown and inju

Top Three Mistakes Many Brides Make

2009-08-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

We’ve all heard stories of the overbearing, obnoxious bride who demands everyone bow to her because, after all, SHE’S THE BRIDE.

Bridesmaids hide in the closet to escape from her. The groom works late shifts to avoid her. Even her mother doesn’t know how to deal with her.

When we hear of this bride … one word comes to mind.

Uhm. No. That’s not the “b” word I was thinking of …

It is Bridezilla.

Bridezilla is the bride who thinks she is the only woman who ever got married and feels as if the world owes her the wedding of her dreams.

But she isn’t the only “bride” we’ve seen with issues.

Here are the top three brides most often seen, the mistakes they make and tips on how to avoid becoming one of them.

1. SuperBride
Whether it comes from guilt at asking too much of others or out of egotistical pride at always doing everything well, many brides fail when it comes to asking for help-and they turn into SuperBride.

I was one of them. Almost.

See, I am usually the one other brides come to when they need help or have wedding-related questions, so it was hard for me to relinquish duties to others.

An easy solution for this bride is to ask friends or family members to help with
some of the DIY items or ask for help in researching certain aspects of the wedding.

2. The Incredible Shrinking Bride
So you’ve always dreamed of your special day, imagined the cake, the flowers, the dress-and thought, most of all, of how YOU would look when you walk down the aisle.

This is absolutely normal.

All brides want to look their best and we want to hear our guests gasping “Oh! She is just beauuutiful” as we march down the aisle. But that doesn’t mean we should go on crash diets, live at the gym or pledge to eat only cabbage soup until the Big Day.

Focusing too much on losing pre-wedding weight can add to an already stressful situation, can put a strain on your relationships and can easily spiral out of control.

Making life changing habits, such as healthy eating and regular exercise is one thing, trying to lose too much weight, too fast-just for your wedding day-is a mistake.

To help keep yourself on track from becoming this bride, try to eat more fruit and vegetables, exercise when you can and focus on a healthy lifestyle. In addition, considering purchasing a gown that has a corset back. These dresses fit brides one size larger and one size smaller than the dress size, thus eliminating the worry of whether your dress will fit on your Big Day.

3. The I-Can-Do-Anything-at-the-Last-Minute Bride
Thinking you can do anything the morning of your wedding, including place cards, flowers or decorating, is a mistake. Believe me, no matter what time your wedding starts, you won’t feel like you have enough time in the day to do the things you have to do-like shower, visit with your friends, have your hair done. You don’t want to add anything on top of this.

If there are certain things you feel must be done the morning of your wedding, get your friends and family members involved, create a detailed list and delegate. You’ll be glad you did.

What other mistakes do you think brides often make when planning their weddings? What advice can you offer them?

Photo courtesy of RockSee

Gift Registry 101, Part II: Gift Registry Ideas

2009-08-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

In a post earlier this week we discussed how the rules of etiquette apply to gift registry, but now it is time for some fun.

If you are new to the gift wedding industry-yes, it is an industry now-you might not be aware of all of the fun, new, exciting options available to couples. So, I’ll help you out.

Here are three types of wedding registries, with tips to help you decide which registry is right for you.

Traditional Gift Registries
Traditional registries include major department stores and boutique stores where couples choose items, aka-gifts, they’d like to have in their home. The Internet is full of websites that offer suggestions on what to register for, but it is important for couples to keep the following things in mind when registering for gifts.

- Your Couple Style
You may love pink satin sheets, while your soon-to-be spouse is more into camo. Well, unless you can find pink camo-and I do think I’ve seen it somewhere before-you’re gonna need to agree. This might be one of the first opportunities you’ve had as a couple to test your compromising skills and it is a great chance for you to talk about how you'd like to decorate your home.

- Your Needs
As couples continue to put off marriage until later in life, fewer newlyweds will find themselves in need of everything on that registry list. Don’t register for something just because it is on the list. Decide what you really need and select items accordingly.

- Your Guests’ Budgets
As with all of these registries, it is important to remember that your guests all have different budgets. Choose a range of items in varying amounts so everyone will be able to afford a suitable gift.

Honeymoon Registries
Honeymoon registries have taken off in recent years and more and more couples-especially those who already have set up a home-are utilizing these services. What is it? Well, it is just what it sounds like.

Couples choose a company or website to purchase their honeymoon from and make selections, just as they would with a traditional gift registry. More information regarding Honeymoon Registries can be found here.

Items many couples select include dinners, river cruises, excursions, carriage rides and accommodations ... molto romantico!

I like to see couples who choose Honeymoon Registries show their appreciation for the gift by taking a photo of them either at the restaurant or attraction holding a "Thank You" sign. The photo can then be converted to a Thank You card and mailed to the guest post-honeymoon.

Charity Registries
Are you one of those couples who has it all? If so, a charity registry might be perfect for you … here is how it works.

The couple selects a charity through an organization such as the I Do Foundation. When guests ask where you are registered, you and your friends direct them to the I Do Foundation website, where, in lieu of gifts, they can make a tax-deductible donation to your chosen charity.

It is important to keep in mind that conservative guests might prefer to go to a store and purchase a gift. For this reason, I recommend that couples who choose either the Honeymoon or Charity registry, also make a small selection at a traditional store. That being said-you know your guests and you can likely anticipate the types of gifts they’d prefer to give you. If you and your fiancé feel a non-traditional registry is right for you, then give it a go!

And remember … gifts *are* a fun part of getting married, but they aren’t everything. In 1, 5, 10 years time, you won’t even remember who gave you what, but the memory of who was there and how you felt on your Special Day will last forever.

Photos courtesy of lechampiondumonde, Carlo Nicora and Daveblog

Gift Registry 101, Part I: Basic Etiquette

2009-08-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

Possibly the second best thing about getting married, you know, after pledging your life to your soul mate and best friend-is getting gifts!

No, no one likes to talk about it and there is an endless list of gift-receiving no-no’s, but let’s face it, gifts are fun. However, more importantly than what you receive or how much your guests spend, is how you and your fiancé handle the registry.

See, my wedding was a bit tricky. Although our wedding was in southeast Texas, I had recently joined my husband in southern Italy and our guests knew we were limited in what we could carry and use in Europe.

Since I have strong opinions on social norms and wedding etiquette, I refused to allow my registry to be printed on my shower invitations, didn’t include gift information on my website and didn’t ask-or tell-friends and family members that money and gift certificates would be appreciated.

Was I wrong?

I don’t know. (Just between you and me, about half of the guests who attended our wedding didn’t give a gift, an effect my mother says stems from the uncertainties about what we could take and/or use in Italy. However, that is not my bad etiquette and is truly a post for another day.)

Whether you choose to publish your gift registry details is up to you, although many experts agree that broadcasting registry information is akin to asking for presents, a gesture shunned by wedding etiquette enthusiasts.

In fact, according to Ask Carley at TheKnot.Com, the only way to get the word out about your registry is to wait for them to ask. While many of the comments under this article suggest putting registry information on your website, I’m still against it.

When I visit a wedding website, I like to look at pictures, read the couple’s love story and uncover information about the event I’m planning to attend. I don’t like to get slapped in the face with a reminder that I need to buy a gift. I know I’m expected to purchase a gift and I know how to use the “contact us” form if I have any questions. I guess I think the broadcasting of registry information is like saying, “You can come to my party … but only if you do this!” And I don’t like ultimatums.

So … do you want to follow the rules of etiquette and still make sure your guests can track down your gifts? Here are a few tips to help you out.

1. Tell your family and closest friends about your dilemma. Explain that you don’t want to advertise your registry and ask them to share your information when other guests ask.

2. Willingly share your gift registry information with anyone who asks you-and believe me, people will ask. If anyone asks why you didn’t put the information on your website or shower cards, just tell them that gifts aren’t the most important part of the day, but that you have made selections at XYZ store.

3. If you are still worried that people won’t know you are registered, add a line to your wedding website that says, “Have any questions? Contact me at …” This will encourage your guests to email you and ask for details.

Do you have any other gift registry etiquette tips for other brides? Be sure to come back on Thursday for Gift Registry 101, Part II: Unique Ideas for Your Gift Registry.

Photo courtesy of Scorpions and Centaurs

Don’t Forget – Using an Online Calendar Management System for Wedding Planning

2009-08-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

Even if you are the bride-to-be equivalent of a fully-grown elephant, it is likely you will need some extra help tracking your dates and staying informed of important pre-wedding events. Yes, you can use your Outlook or email provider calendar to track those dates or you can do it the old-fashioned way, with a pen and paper. But are they really reliable?

I don’t think so. Here is the lowdown on why email calendars and traditional pen and paper calendars won’t work for your wedding!

Email Calendar

When you use Outlook or an email provider’s calendar, notices pop up on your screen to remind you of important events. This works well, but only if your computer is turned ON when they send the reminder.

I can’t tell you how many important notices I’ve missed-mostly because, well, yes, I forgot them-because Gmail’s calendar only sends notifications if and when you are logged into Gmail.

Pen and paper

There is nothing wrong with a sturdy notebook and dark ink pen, but when it comes to setting important wedding dates and arranging vendor meetings, you need something that will stand the test of time. And by time, I mean, being changed, added, deleted and canceled over the course of several weeks, months or even a year of wedding planning.

So what can you do? Just fire up the ole' laptop and head to AmericanGreetings.Com

Long famed for romantic greeting cards and evite messages, American Greetings also has a thorough-and reliable-calendar system for tracking important dates and meetings.

Here is how it works.

- Sign up for a free account at AmericanGreetings.Com.

- Ensure that you sign up with the email address you most often use and double-check the spelling for accuracy.

- You will receive an email confirmation from American Greetings. If you don’t receive your
confirmation email, return to their site and re-enter your contact information.

- Once you are on their site, you can enter details for all of the important dates you have already scheduled. Be sure to add all holidays and/or important birthdays, as well so you don’t accidentally schedule a meeting that coincides with an important date.

- Using the “Other” symbol (the final symbol in the “Add Events” dropdown box) add all of your wedding meetings and appointments.

Fun Features:

1. You can share important events with key wedding people without sharing your entire calendar. This is a great way for you to confirm appointments with vendors or remind your family, fiancé or friends about meetings they’ve agreed to attend.

2. The American Greetings Toolbar can be downloaded to your browser, keeping your appointments calendar and other American Greetings website tools, within a click of your finger.

3. Using this online calendar system, you can quickly and easily request attendance from your friends or fiancé for important events. Since you can do everything in one place, you no longer have to write a meeting on your calendar, then call your mom and see if she can go, then email your fiancé to double-check with him. With the “Request Events” section of the site, all vital parties can stay up to date and in the know of all wedding-related events.

Are you currently planning your wedding? What calendar tool did you use to track your dates, meetings and appointments?

Photo courtesy of Deannster

Six Tips to (Politely) Pass on to the Mothers of the Bride and Groom

2009-08-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

Since your engagement you and your (soon-to-be) spouse have been bombarded with new titles … fiancé, bride, groom, future husband, future wife, (almost) newlyweds. It is a lot to take in.

But you aren’t alone. The important people in your life are taking on new titles, too-mother-in-law, father-in-law, mother(s) of the bride and groom. And believe me, they are just as confused as you.

Here are six tips you can ever so politely pass on to the Mother of the Bride and your fiance’s counterpart, the Mother of the Groom to prepare them for their roles in your upcoming wedding.

Mother of the Bride-It’s Her Time to Shine

Your little girl is all grown up and is getting ready, not only to be a blushing bride, but to be someone’s wife. Hard to believe, isn’t it? Over the years she has likely looked to you for help, advice or a friendly shoulder and that is not likely to change. But, here are a couple of things to remember as Mother of the Bride that will keep you and your daughter on good terms throughout the wedding planning process.

1. It is understandable you are excited about your daughter’s upcoming nuptials, but before you verbally invite all of your neighbors, work colleagues and closest friends, you should talk to your daughter and her fiancé about the size of the wedding and ask how many of your friends you can invite. Remember, this is their wedding and the room should be filled with their friends and colleagues. If the guest list needs trimming, your guests (as well as the groom's family's guests) should be the first to go.

2. Of course you are going to have an opinion on the dress, the cake, the room, the music … and you should. As the mother of the bride, you are one of the most important guests and honored attendants of the day. Just be sure to offer your opinion, then back off. Remember, your daughter is being pulled by the groom, his family, other family members, friends and her personal wishes. Be there to offer your support for her during this stressful time.

3. One of the biggest problems I see that arises between the parents of the bride and the engaged couple is the money issue. Just because you have offered to help your daughter pay for her wedding doesn't entitle you to make demands, control the event or hold your money over their heads. Remember, this is a gift you are giving your daughter-not a nightmare.

Mother of the Groom-This One’s for You

It’s a day you knew would come … one day your little boy would turn into a man, and since he’s the man you reared him to be, you knew a Cinderella-like princess would want him, too. And that makes you happy.

What you aren’t happy about is trying to determine what your newly-appointed mother of the groom status means. What do you do? Where do you start? How can you help? Well, never fear, Mommy Dearest, here are three tips to help you, help them.

1. If you haven’t already met the bride’s parents, call, and if logistically possible, invite them for dinner or drinks. It’s a good way to set the tone for the upcoming months and will ease any tensions your son and future daughter-in-law might have about merging their families.

2. Have a tete-a-tete with your son and ask him what he and his fiancé need and expect from you. When everyone is on the same page, you will have fewer misunderstandings and less hurt feelings. Be honest about anything you would like to be included in, but know the bride’s decision is-and should be-what matters.

3. If something doesn’t go the way you had hoped, bite your tongue and keep your class. Although your son’s wedding is important -it is just one day. Your relationship with your son and his future Mrs. is much more important, so let that be your focus and leave the crème brulee or tiramisu dessert dilemma to the bride.

What other tips would you like to pass on to mothers of the bride and groom? Do you think they'll take you up on them?

Photos courtesy of Deadly Knitshade and Ben McLeod

Document (more than) the Day: Personalized Photo Albums of Your Wedding Planning

2009-07-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Nothing evokes memories of a cherished moment more than professionally designed photos. While professional photography is likely a given for your Big Day, there are hundreds of moments since you said “yes,” that are photo album-worthy.

Document them.

PhotoWorks offers personalized albums that can be tailor-made for you and your future husband that guarantee to be a lasting monument to your wedding process.

Here is the deal.

- Document Everything

Begin documenting your wedding-planning process as soon as he pops the question. If you aren’t engaged yet, then you are in the prime position to have a complete wedding-planning process album. If you, like me, didn’t get this idea until well into your wedding planning process, then don’t worry. There is still time.

Ask your friends, family members and attendants if they have photos from when you tried on wedding gowns, went shopping with your bridesmaids or had girls’ days and/or nights to plan the wedding.

Other interesting milestones include the following.

- The engagement
- The engagement dinner (if the two of you went out to celebrate)
- The engagement party (if applicable)
- Wedding gown shopping
- Bridesmaid dress shopping
- The boys playing golf, fishing, etc
- The girls having lunch, a spa day, etc
- Pictures of you when you met with potential caterers, bakers, venues
- Pictures of any site tours
- Pictures of you when you sign contracts at your chosen venues
- Pictures of you and your groom meeting with the priest or celebrant
- Pictures of you and your groom at a marriage workshop (if applicable)
- Pictures of your parents, close friends and siblings helping you with details
- Photos of your invitations, menu cards, programs, thank you cards and other stationary
- Pictures of you creating any do-it-yourself items, such as programs, invitations or place cards
- Pictures of your tastings with caterers and bakers
- Pictures of any pre-wedding events, including the days/nights important out-of-town guests arrive
- Pictures from the rehearsal
- Pictures from the rehearsal dinner
- Pictures from post-rehearsal dinner
- Pictures of wedding day (when you are getting dressed, ceremony, reception)
- Pictures of any post-wedding events, such as morning-after brunch or lunch
- Pictures of honeymoon

- After you have documented all of these stages, select your favorite photos and compare them for color and contrast. Choose only the finest photos and crop them, when necessary.

- Be sure to choose photos that tell your wedding story. Don’t include too many photos from your wedding day and honeymoon. You will likely have another wedding album that consists solely of photos from your wedding day and you can create a separate album to document your honeymoon. Remember, this album tells the whole story, so keep the album balanced with a variety of photos from the entire wedding-planning process.

- Go to PhotoWorks.com.

- Choose an album size that best fits your needs.

- Customize the album with fun expressions, silly sayings or other personal moments from your wedding process.

- Ask for feedback from a valued family member or friend before you submit your album to the printer.

Enjoy!

Four Honeymoon Travel Tips You Can’t Leave Home Without

2009-07-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Your Big Day is quickly approaching and that only means one thing ... It is time for your honeymoon! As if you don’t have enough other things on your never-ending to-do list of phone calls, taste tests and dress fittings you also have to think about the days and weeks that follow.

But never fear.

Here are four honeymoon travel tips designed to help you make the most of your first married-couple vacation!

1. Make Decisions Early

And by decisions, I mean choose the location and exact dates and make your reservations as early as possible. Depending on the season and destination, some honeymoon hot spots fill up quickly. Save money by booking your plane tickets, hotel and transfers as early as possible. Some websites, such as Expedia.com, offer substantial savings to travelers who book their flights, hotels and rental cars at the same time. It is worth looking into.

Additionally, be sure to order any passports or visas you might need for international travel well in advance. Having these important decisions out of the way will ease your wedding and honeymoon-planning stress and will allow you more time to focus on the fun.

2. Plan Your Trip for Two

As you might have realized one of you is likely more of a detail-oriented planner while the other tends to step back and accept what comes along. This is ok. However, whoever the dominant vacation planner is needs to be careful to include his/her spouse on some of the details.

I am the trip planner in my marriage and my husband is more than happy to step back and let me make decisions regarding airline, flight schedule and hotel accommodations. I enjoy the research and he trusts my decisions. I was surprised, however, on our honeymoon to realize that he would prefer to visit the ancient ruins at Tikal, while I assumed he would prefer the part of the trip that focused on San Pedro (Belize). In the end it worked out perfectly and we had a great time, but not all surprises-like that one-have a happy ending. I should have asked in advance.

3. Pack Well

While I understand you want to look your best during your honeymoon, over-packing and expecting your hubby to haul around heavy suitcases is just. plain. inconsiderate. Make a list of everything you need, spread your clothes across your bed, then cut that number in half. You will want to save space in your luggage for souvenirs, new t-shirts or something special you can display in your new home.

Also, remember to pack half of your things and half of his in each suitcase. That way if the airline misplaces a bag, you will each have clothes to help get your honeymoon started.

4. Communication is Key

It is always important to practice strong communication with your soon-to-be-spouse, so why not start this lifelong process during your honeymoon. Remember to communicate your interests, your energy level and your honest desire on what to see and what to skip. Here are three more tips for traveling as a couple that are sure to set your honeymoon off on a romantic foot!

Have you already been on your honeymoon? What other travel tips do you have for soon-to-be-honeymooners?

Photos courtesy of Serdir and aka_lusi

How to Host a Morning-after Brunch

2009-07-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

Wedding weekends are becoming increasingly popular, regardless of whether the wedding is an out-of-town affair or hometown event. In fact, they are so hot right now that planners and caterers are actually including them in some of their wedding packages.

If you have been considering a morning-after brunch, then ask yourself the following questions.

- Will you have a large number of out-of-town guests?

- Have people traveled a great distance to attend your wedding?

- Do you anticipate many people staying overnight and/or being available for a morning-after brunch?

- Will your guests still be happy to spend time together and see each other in yet another wedding-related event?

- Can you afford it?

If you answered “yes” to the above questions then you are a perfect candidate for a morning-after brunch.

So here is what you do!

- Plan in Advance
As with other aspects of your wedding, advanced planning pays off! Think of your morning-after brunch with the same forethought and creative mind you used when planning your rehearsal dinner. Additionally, be sure to send invitations to your guests or include the details on your wedding website.

- Location, Location, Location
Although many caterers and/or banquet facilities will encourage you to hold your morning-after brunch at the same location as your wedding ... think again! Consider where you can host your morning-after brunch that will offer some diversity to both the rehearsal dinner and wedding reception. If your reception was ultra-formal, then consider something more laid back. Be careful, however, not to do the opposite. You don’t want any part of your wedding weekend to outshine the Big Event, so plan accordingly.

You should also be considerate of where your guests are staying and how far they will have to drive to attend the event. Unless your wedding reception was held in a ballroom of the hotel where you have blocked your rooms, consider hosting your morning-after brunch there. It is convenient and guests don’t have to worry about checking out early so they can attend your brunch.

- Choose the Time
As with location, the time of your morning-after brunch is crucial. You certainly don’t want to be forced out of bed early on your first married-couple morning and if your guests had as much fun as you anticipate, they won’t want to wake up early, either.

Try to plan your morning-after brunch to span a few hours so your guests can trickle in and out according to their sleeping habits and travel plans.

- Plan the Menu
Since you will likely plan for a two-to-three hour event, a brunch buffet is the way to go. Guests won’t feel left out or uncomfortable if they arrive while others are eating and no one will feel pressured to stay after they have eaten brunch and said their goodbyes.

- Get Some Help
While you will no doubt be the stars of the show at the morning-after brunch, ask your parents and/or siblings to help host the event. Explain the format to them in advance. Ask them to help you meet and greet guests as they arrive and instruct them to pull you away from other guests when someone is leaving. Their assistance will go a long way in ensuring everyone feels welcomed and included in the morning-after brunch.

Are you hosting a morning-after brunch following your wedding? What are your plans?

Save Thousands of Dollars-Four Things You Can Live Without

2009-07-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

Are you a budget-savvy bride who wouldn’t mind saving thousands of dollars on your magazine-quality blowout, but don’t want to look like you scrimped, cut corners or suddenly became Madame Cheapo?

Well, if you are-you are in luck!

Here are four things you can live without on your Big Day that are guaranteed to trim thousands off of your big budget’s bottom line! And let's be honest. What bride doesn’t want a trimmer bottom for her wedding day?

1. Guest List

Slicing and dicing your guest list is the number one way couples can control the costs of their wedding. It is also the number one most painful thing they’ll do. And think about it. You are happy. Your future hubby is happy. You want everyone you know to share in that happiness. I get that!

But did you know that cutting just 10 people from your guest list can save you at least $1,000? It can!

Consider this!
Ten people on your guest list each have a “plus one,” bringing the actual guest total you have to serve up to 20 people. Now, let’s underestimate and assume you will spend $35.00 per person for food and beverage, tax and grats …That is $700! Add in the extra two tables you will need to seat 20 people, including the cost of centerpieces, menu cards, chair covers, etc and you will save at least $200. Consider a $50 savings on cake and another $60 on favors. Don’t forget the extra money you will save on invitations, thank you cards, RSVP cards, stamps and programs … at least another $50. That is already over $1,000.

Adds up doesn’t it?

You can also trim your guest list by omitting the “plus one” for single guests and not including an invite for the kiddos.

2. Favors

Party favors are fun and everyone likes to take something home with them as a reminder of the wedding event. That being said … they are far from essential. I’ve actually been to more weddings that didn’t have favors than wedding that did and more often than not, your guests won’t even notice! You can easily save several hundred dollars on your wedding by forgoing the favors.

3. Cakes and Desserts

Did you know wedding cakes can range from just a few hundred dollars to thousands of dollars? Scary, huh? By diligently searching out the best value bakers in your area, you can skim hundreds off of your wedding budget.

Looking for ways to save even more? Forget about the Groom’s Cake. Wedding cakes today are often created in a variety of flavors, so by omitting the Groom’s Cake altogether, you can expect to save a few hundred dollars. You could also serve the wedding cake as your only dessert. Many caterers will urge you to serve dessert or offer a dessert bar, then serve cake. Talk about overkill.

4. Expensive Stationary

I know everywhere you look you see designer stationary that costs upward of $5.00 or $6.00 an invite. They are sassy. They are feminine. They are precious. But you can do them yourself. Consider creating your own invitations online at American Greetings (or other site of your choice), then adding your own embellishments. You will save hundreds of dollars and you can create a tailored look unique to your wedding.

What other things do you think couples can skip when trying not to bust their budgets?

Photo courtesy of prettydaisies

Do You Have a Wedding Day Kit? Should You?

2009-07-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

You have crossed your T’s and dotted those I’s and believe me, bride-to-be, you are almost there. Almost. But don’t drop the ball now and forget the one thing that really could make or break your wedding.

A wedding day kit!

If you have been perusing the Internet looking for wedding-related tips, advice and bargains and well, since you made it here I’m going to assume you have, then you have likely seen wedding day kits for sale. But do you know what they are, what they include and why you need one?
Here is the nitty gritty on how to-and why you should-create your own wedding day kit.

What is a wedding day kit anyway?

A wedding day kit is a collection of everything you could imagine needing for your Big Day. You know the old expression, “anything that can go wrong, will?” Well, your wedding day kit helps ensure that if anything goes wrong, you and your posse can handle it.

What do you include in a wedding day kit?

Grab a paper shopping bag, label it as your Wedding Day Kit and fill it with the following items.
• Advil or Tylenol
• Band-Aids
• Bottles of water
• Krazy Glue (for nail fixes, shoe heels, decorations, even jewels)
• Corsage pins
• Dental floss
• Toothpaste
• Deodorant
• Tampons
• Eye drops
• Extra earring backs
• Hair pins/ponytail holder
• Hand wipes
• Hem tape
• Matches
• Mini sewing kit
• Safety pins
• Scotch tape
• Small folding scissors
• Spot remover
• Static-cling spray
• Straws (so the bride can stay hydrated without messing up her lipstick)
• Tissues
• Tweezers
• Breath mints/spray
• Granola bars or other easy-to-carry snacks
• Comb/brush
• Thank You Cards (to give your attendants and / or others who help during your day)
• Hair spray
• Makeup (for touch-ups)
• Makeup mirror
• Nail file
• Clear nail polish
• Perfume or Body Spray
• Tampons/sanitary napkins

Possibly Include the Following Items (depending on your wedding situation)
• Sun block
• Chalk (to cover up any last minute smudges or smears on your dress)
• Extra panty hose

Why do you need a wedding day kit?

A wedding day kit ensures your peace of mind for your wedding day. If you know you have covered all of your bases, then you will have more time for enjoying your wedding day and won’t have to worry, stress or run around if something comes up.

I created a wedding day kit almost identical the one I listed for you but never actually anticipated using it. I knew I shouldn’t need tampons on that day and I had already packed toothpaste, deodorant and makeup in my own overnight kit.

Can I just say, we used more items from that Wedding Day Kit than I ever expected. Someone had a mishap and needed to borrow the feminine products, another bridesmaid forgot toothpaste and we used the nail file and clear nail polish to prepare someone’s manicure. The mirror was passed around so much that we actually misplaced it and well, I never thought a half dozen girls could use so many straws.

If you are on the fence about whether you should create a wedding day kit, then consider this. Every item on that list can be used at a later date or returned to the store if it is unopened. You aren’t spending much more than you would if you bought the extra deodorant next month or if you return those extra panty hose to the store. But IF something happens on your Big Day, you want to be able to control the situation and know that you have everything covered.

Did you have a Wedding Day Kit? What other items do you think you should include?

Photo courtesy of Craig Morsels

Four More Unexpected Expenses Couples Forget

2009-07-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Last week I gave you the run down on four of the biggest expenses many couples forget to include when budgeting for their Big Day. But that list wasn’t all-inclusive.

In fact, I missed some biggies.

Here are four more unexpected expenses couples could easily overlook when planning their wedding budgets.

1. Welcome Baskets
In addition to the money you will need to create welcome baskets for your out-of-town guests-anywhere from $10 per basket minimum and up-the hotel could tack on a holding and/or a delivery fee-sometimes as much as $7.00 per basket.

If you are holding your wedding at the hotel, they should waive this fee-but only if you negotiate it when you book them. If the hotel is used for your room block only, then discuss basket delivery and holding options. Depending on the competition for your room block, they might lower and/or eliminate this price altogether.

2. Rentals
Many couples assume having a wedding at a self-catering banquet or church hall is the least expensive option-however, they could be wrong. Most self-catering halls don’t include the cost of flatware, dishes, serving platters, cups, glasses, napkins, etc, etc, etc … hotels or special event rooms do.

Depending on your guest list and menu, these small items could add thousands-yes, thousands!-to your bottom line. Additionally, many rental companies charge an extra fee-usually between $50.00-$250.00-for delivery!

Be sure you do your math before you commit to a location or caterer and ensure all of your rentals are included in the price. I was able to host my reception at one of the best hotels in my city at a fraction of what other brides paid for a church hall. The difference? The rental fee!

3. Tax
Although you know you will have to cough up the dough for the additional taxes, it isn’t something many couples consider when they ask a vendor for a quote. Additionally, big ticket items have big ticket taxes, a fact many couples forget to include in their budgets.

To be safe, always-always!-ask your vendor for a bottom-line quote and ensure they include tax. If they don’t, figure the tax amount yourself and add it to your database of quotes.

4. Grats
Like tax, gratuities are another area many couples forget to budget for-a lump sum that can sometimes put a couple over budget.

The biggest chunk of your gratuity budget will go towards your servers and/or caterers. To make sure you and your caterers are on the same page, ask them specifically what their “service charge” covers. Many caterers pass on the cost of paying their servers an hourly rate, but don’t automatically include gratuities. Other caterers do.

I was happily surprised when my banquet manager told me the “service charge” I’d already paid went directly to the servers as their gratuity for working my event.

To help alleviate the possibility of busting a budget, I always include an additional 10-15% “Miscellaneous” category when helping brides budget. This helps account for other “unexpected” surprises or new ideas we get along the way.

What other expenses do you think many couples forget to include in their budget? Did you overlook anything? If so, what?

Four Wedding Expenses You Might Not be Expecting

2009-07-09T00:01:00.001-07:00

I know you ... you are a budget-wise bride. Right? You have set your budget, you’ve done your homework. And you know what to expect when it comes to your expenses.

Or do you?

Here are four of the most common expenses many couples overlook when setting their wedding budgets.

1. Postage
Currently running over 40 cents a head, postage stamps are one of the first things many couples forget to include when setting their budget. To manage your costs, it is important to ask your stationary supplier for a weight estimate before committing to an invitation and specifically ask how many stamps you will need. You could also consider creating your own wedding invitation s online, trimming your guest list or forgoing pre-stamped RSVP cards (and consider online RSVPs instead).

2. Corking / Cake-Cutting Fees
I think both the corking and cake-cutting fees-a $2.00-$5.00 per guest fee added to your bill by overzealous caterers and directors in an attempt to suck every last penny from your purse-is well, crap.

It is!

Where else in the world will you drop thousands of dollars on food and wine and then be charged extra for them to slice it up? Many caterers claim the fee is charged on drinks or cakes purchased from an outside vendor, but I’ve seen more than my share of caterers who try to sneak in this fee on wine or cakes you bought from them.

Talk to your caterers BEFORE you sign a contract and negotiate any corking and cake-cutting fees out of your contract. If they really want your business-and believe me, they do-they’ll be happy to give you a break on these fees.

3. Alterations
Although oftentimes you can limit your dress alteration needs by purchasing the appropriate dress length, choosing your shoes wisely or selecting a corset-back dress (that can accommodate a three dress-size difference), you still might find you need a nip here or a tuck there to make that dress fit like a glove. If so, these costs can add up-especially if you secure a seamstress through your bridal boutique.

Additionally, most bridal gowns don’t come with a bussell, so unless you want to spend the night dragging your dress off of the floor-you don’t, by the way-then, you will have to cough up the cash for this alteration, as well. Ask other brides in your area for recommendations and take your business outside of the boutique. I saved close to $300 this way.

4. Vendor OT
Nowhere else is it as important to 1) create a wedding day schedule and 2) read the fine print, as it is with your vendors-especially your photographer, videographer, transportation and band/DJ. Why? Because time is money, my friend.

When you book your vendors, you are purchasing their time and experience for a set number of hours. If you go over, you will pay the price. Oftentimes starting at $250 per hour for photographers and videographers, $150 per hour for transportation and $100 per hour for band/DJ, even running over half an hour could bust your budget.

Think I’ve covered it all? Well, I haven’t. Be sure to come back next week for four more big expenses many couples forget to budget.

Photos courtesy of Mirnanda and spudballoo

Hot Honeymoon Destinations

2009-07-07T00:01:00.001-07:00

For many brides, that first married-couple vacation can almost feel like an afterthought. And who can blame them? Since the day they said “yes,” they’ve been busy meeting with caterers, pouring over menu and wine selections and picking their wedding day buds-and unless their future “Mr’s” are helpful wedding or vacation planners, most of the burden may have fallen to the bride.

But don’t let it get you down and don’t forget to give your honeymoon the proper planning it deserves.

This Big Trip is the only honeymoon you and your sweetie will ever take, so even if you can’t afford that month-long African Safari you’ve always dreamed of, make your honeymoon trip a good one.

Need some inspiration? Here are five sizzling honeymoon destinations that are guaranteed to get your marriage off on the right foot.

1. Most Popular Overall

Hawaii
For years, these Pacific islands have taken first place in the honeymoon destination department for love and romance. And why shouldn’t they? With over 4,000 square miles of beaches, mountains, volcanoes and waterfalls, the Big Island in Hawaii is one of the few places on earth that offers something for everyone.

2. Most Popular Domestic

Las Vegas
If what happens in Vegas really does stay in Vegas, then why not join the hordes of other newlyweds who chose Sin City for their Honeymoon and make some sultry secrets of your own? Think about it-big city, bright lights, gambling, live shows and buffets … and really, nothing says "I love you" like the glitz and glimmer of the Las Vegas Strip.

3. Most Popular Caribbean

Puerto Rico
Looking for something a bit more exotic than Vegas, but closer to home than Hawaii? Then you, like thousands of other couples, should head down south to the white sandy shores of Puerto Rico.

Popular for honeymooners because of the dramatic cliffs and swooping coastlines, Puerto Rico's casinos, mild climate, natural attractions and vicinity to the US make it an affordable tropical honeymoon destination.

4. Most Popular European

Italy
No place on earth rivals the bel paese when it comes to love, history, art and romance and with 44 UNESCO World Heritage Sites to its name-more than any other country in the world!-an Italian honeymoon guarantees to keep you busy.

The Big Three-Rome, Florence, Venice-continue to be popular with honeymooners, as does the Amalfi Coast, Siena and southern Italy.

5. Something Different

Alaskan Cruise
So what do you do if you and sweetie are none too thrilled with the idea of 10 days of beaches, sand and sunburns? Then cruise up north for a once-in-a-lifetime tour of the Alaskan wilderness. Cruise from one wild Alaskan point to another while watching the whales, ayak, hike or dog sled on your shore excursions or hop on a copter for an aerial view of the largest US state.

Chattanooga, Tennessee, Dry Tortugas, Florida, San Antonio, Texas, Montrose, Colorado and Intercourse, Pennsylvania are other interesting domestic destinations.

For a unique international honeymoon destination, consider Argentina, Belize, Turkey, Thailand, India or Morocco.

Have you selected your honeymoon destination yet? Where are you going?

Photos courtesy of Jeff Kubina and Paolo Margari

Keeping the "WE" in Weddings: How to Deal With Four of the Biggest Pre-Wedding Arguments

2009-07-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Congratulations! You are engaged. You’ve met the man of your dreams and can spend the rest of your life in marital bliss … right?

Well, yes. And no.

As I’m sure your mother has told you, marriages take work. You have to listen, be compassionate and (gasp!) compromise. The same goes with your wedding.

It is possible you and your fiancé will be the one couple in 100,000,000 that doesn’t argue during the wedding planning process and if you are yet to tear into it over table linens or font choices, then kudos to you!

The Knot lists 10 of the biggest pre-wedding fights and gets insight from psychotherapist, Tina B. Tessina on how to avoid them. I’m going to choose four my favorites, summarize Tessina’s advice and add my own notes in parentheses.

1. Familial Issues
One of the main arguments newly engaged couples have is over his-or her-family, their ever-growing guest list and how much money they’re adding to the pile. Tessina believes this type of argument is “a prototype for future financial dealings” and suggests for couples to approach the issue as if it were a business dealing. (Smart woman, this Tina Tessina. However, this assumes you are “splitting” the guest list in threes (her family, his family, and the two of you ... and if you are, that’s awfully nice of you. But remember, it *is* your wedding and you and your fiancé have precedence. If you guys aren’t on the same page-get there, quickly and start practicing supporting each other through difficult decisions.)

2. Getting the Groom Going
I know, I know … your groom doesn’t give a rat’s rooter what color the tablecloths are or if you choose lilies or roses. I get it. Tessina advises brides to realize that men don’t normally care about things such as design and décor, and sadly, their wedding is no different. She suggests to find something they are interested in and try to get them involved in that. (IF you can. Most brides I know have tried this technique to no avail. My advice is to get over it. You know you wouldn’t be happy if he chose the invitations from the bottom of your list, anyway, so be glad you can do all of the planning and get him to help verify non-RSVPers or confirm vendors just before the Big Day.)

3. Busting Bridezilla
We’ve all known women who somehow take on a monstrous facade when they planned their wedding. They were horrible to deal with, had unrealistic expectations and were basically all-out witches. Witches. I said witches. Tessina says if you see yourself in this scenario, then “drop the Martha act.” (I say, if your fiancé thinks you are getting out of control, take a step back and reevaluate your priorities. Remember, your wedding is a special day-but it is just one day. You don’t want to cause conflicts that could leave a mark on your new marriage.)

4. Old Flames
So what would you do if your fiance wants to invite his ex to the wedding? Tessina tells brides to “grow up” already, because he already chose you and suggests for brides to reach out to the friend and try to get to know her. (I, personally, couldn’t disagree more. I don’t understand why either of you would insist on any guest being present that could potentially upset your wedding day. This isn’t a dinner party he wants to invite her to, it is your wedding and unless you and your fiance are both 100% ok with inviting exes, then save that invite for your great-great-grandmother. Or your dog groomer.)

What other pre-wedding fights do you think engaged couples encounter? Do you agree with Tessina’s assessments? Do you agree with mine? Please share your opinions!

Three Tips to Setting the (Right) Wedding Date

2009-06-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

It is one of the most important decisions you’ll make as a newly engaged couple, yet many couples jump the gun and make a decision-without giving it proper thought.

I’m talking about the date.

The wedding date, that is.

Not only will this date live on year after year-whether he remembers it or not-but it is important because the date you choose could have a huge impact on your guest count, wedding theme and vendor availability.

Here are three tips to ensuring you set the right wedding date.

1. Find the biggest red-letter day calendar you can find and mark an “X” on the AVOID dates.

In general, dates to avoid include

- Daylight savings days (so your guests won’t accidentally miss your nuptials!)

- Thanksgiving Day

- Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

- Super Bowl Weekend

- Easter Sunday

2. On the same calendar, circle any POTENTIALLY AVOID dates.

Some dates you should potentially avoid include long weekends when your guests might have other things to do. For example, having your wedding the weekend of President’s Day isn’t a big deal, as most guests don’t honor this weekend with out of town BBQs or trips to the lake. However, they might for the weekends of Labor Day and Memorial Day. Keep the following observances in mind when you plan your Big Day ...

- Memorial Day Weekend (Explained above)

- Labor Day Weekend (Same for Memorial Day)

- Independence Day (Same for Memorial Day and Labor Day Weekends … people might be out of town or on family vacations.)

- Mother’s Day (Some families plan big feasts for their mamas each year and might not want to / or feel pressured not to miss the occasion.)

- Father’s Day (Same goes for dear ‘ole dad's day.)

- New Year’s Eve (It could be a great party, but keep in mind that many people might be out of town or prefer to celebrate on their own. This is especially true if you aren’t having a big party with drinking and dancing.)

- Halloween (Unless you plan to have a costume party and/or Halloween-themed wedding, rethink this date.)

- April Fools’ Day (Unless you are into funky celebrations ... then go for it!)

- Your Birthdays (It might seem cute to get married on your groom’s birthday, but consider that forever forward, he’ll have to share his birthday with your wedding anniversary. You’ll have to buy two gifts for the same day and he’ll essentially be losing a date of celebration.

- Other Dates that are important to you, your groom, your families or your closest friends. For example, you might not want to get married on the day your soon-to-be husband’s mother passed away. It is poor taste ... you know what I'm saying?

3. Carry that calendar with you when you meet various venues or caterers that could make or break your preferred wedding date.

It is possibly-likely even, that you will go through this process and choose a date, only to have your number one caterer of choice tell you he’s booked. That is ok. If you have made notes on your calendar and at least tried to think of any potential date conflicts-and noted them!-then you can easily adjust your wedding date to suit your favorite vendors.

Also keep in mind that non-popular wedding months (like January or November) might be less expensive, as well as getting married on a Thursday, Friday or Sunday. As always, keep in mind that out-of-town guests might have a hard time arriving for your 6:00 PM Thursday evening wedding-especially if they plan to drive.

What other dates do you think couples should choose and/or avoid?

Five Wedding Day Details You Won’t Want To Miss

2009-06-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

It is almost here-the day you’ve been planning for months and months and the event you may have been dreaming of for years and years … Your Wedding Day.

You’ve made your list and checked it twice-or thrice, and are confident no detail has been missed.

Aren’t you?

Well, just in case, here are five wedding day details you won’t want to forget!

1. Directions
The Google generation knows how to fire up their laptops and find the quickest route to almost any point on the globe … but your great grandma might not. Don’t forget to include directions either with your invitation or on your wedding website and follow up with people who might not have easy access to a GPS.

2. Kiddos
Cater to your smallest guests in a way that makes them feel special and search out new, fun ideas to get them involved. When I got married, I asked my children-bearing guests if their kiddos would rather sit at a children’s only table or sit with their parents. Many of them chose the kids’ tables. I had food stations for the adults and asked the caterers to serve the children a special kids-only platter. I also made an activity book, presented it with a napkin-full of colored pencils and served them an imported chocolate surprised-filled egg from Italy. It was a hit!

3. Welcome Baskets
I love welcome baskets and for the record, I’ve never met an out-of-town guest who didn’t eat them up. Literally. The cost doesn’t have to be extravagant. Just buy a basket or wedding theme-colored shopping bag and fill it with local flavor. For my wedding in Texas, I served up spicy Tex-Mex salsa and a bag of chips, miniature pecan pies, jars of honey (that was made at my aunt’s ranch) and TexJoy seasoning (that is made in my hometown).

I added items depending on the guests’ tastes, such as a 6-pack of assorted imported beer for my beer-drinking travel buddies and American-flavored drinks and desserts, such as Dr. Pepper and Oreo cookies for our Italian guests.

Don’t forget to include a welcome note, a map of the city, brochures from area attractions, a list of recommended restaurants or cafes and a wedding weekend itinerary.

4. Restroom Baskets
Speaking of baskets, why not create two more and ask your venue coordinator to place them in the restrooms. Using your same stationary design-so your guests will recognize them from your wedding- create a sign and let your guests know you’ve really thought everything. I included toothpics, mouthwash, spray deodorant, hair spray, safety pins, tampons and a sewing kit in my restroom baskets.

5. Menu Cards
Although it is easily something you can save your money on, menu cards add a touch of class and show your guests the lengths you’ve taken with your details. Using the same stationary design and colors as your escort cards and programs, create a small sign outlining your menu. If you are having a sit down dinner, your guests will read it and anticipate each course and if you are having food stations, it will direct them to food they might not have otherwise found.

What special touches are you including with your wedding?

Photo courtesy of digitialsean

Six Wedding Trends for 2009

2009-06-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

Oh yes … we are six months in 2009 and some brides are already planning weddings for well into 2010 or even 2011. But if you are one of the Jeanie-come-lately brides-to-be, then don’t fret. There is still time for you to jump into the trends and have a wedding that looks like you’ve been planning it for months and months.

Here are six of the biggest wedding trends for 2009.1. Outdoor Weddings
For 2009, chic brides are headin’ outdoors and putting a stylish spin on an old-fashioned backyard wedding. If you’re wondering if a backyard wedding is right for you, then you are in luck … we’ve already discussed it.

To keep with current trends, be sure to include vintage centerpieces and vases, fresh garden-style flowers and plenty of outside lighting. Wood signs are big this year and brides are showing up in casual dresses and wearing their hair in long flowing layers.

2. Two-Tiered Cakes
According to TheKnot dot Com, cupcakes and dessert bars are soooo 2008. Trendy brides in 2009 are bringing back the cake, but leaving out the layers. Experts say two layers are tops and even suggest using one-layered cakes as table centerpieces. (This is an idea I *love*, as I almost went with this idea for my 2007 wedding.)

3. Rewearable Bridesmaid Dresses
The cookie-cutter bridesmaid look has-thankfully!-been fading over the last few years, but 2009 brides know that the key to your bridesmaid’s hearts-and wallets-is to choose something they actually can wear again. I was in a wedding last weekend where the blushing bride asked us to choose a knee-length black dress that we liked. We could use something from our own collection-if we had it, or buy a new dress that we’d want to wear again. To keep things fun, she wore bright red heels and asked each of us to choose another bright colored sandal of our choice.

4. Vintage
I said it before with the backyard wedding trend, but vintage is everywhere in 2009. Look for brides to choose something from their mothers’ or grandmothers’ jewelry box to add to her bouquet, to choose a birdcage veil or even to add a few 1920s inspired feathers to flowers or centerpieces.

5. Bright Colors
Have your heart set on being pretty in pink? No problem. Just kick it up a notch-or four. Pastel colors and muted tones are falling to the wayside in lieu of bright jewel tone shades and bold colors. Remember those colors we talked about a few months ago? They are still big. So choose a few bright shades of pink, orange or turquoise and get ready to strut your stuff with bold colors.

6. Food Stations and Signature Drinks
Sit-down dinners are the epitome of class at any wedding reception, but in 2009, brides are infusing their receptions with a bit of funky flavor and style. Food stations are growing in popularity, as are signature drink stations. When I got married, I had an Italian Bellini drink station, complete with hand-dipped white-chocolate tips and strawberries. It was the hit of party!

What special touches are you adding to your wedding this year?

Photos courtesy of shutupyourface, chaserpaul, erin m, pearlbamboo, smcgee and specialkrb

Three Honeymoon Packing Lists for Any Destination

2009-06-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

Image by Chris Gin via Flickr

As if planning your wedding, counting your pennies and organizing your newly married life together wasn’t enough fun, now you get to travel. I’m talking, overly-flustered bride-to-be, about your honeymoon.

So … where are you going?

Did you decide on a new domestic destination you haven’t yet visited? Are you going on a week-long cruise? Maybe you are heading overseas? Well, whatever you have decided, this trip is one of the most important trips of your lifetime. No matter how often you and your sweetie have traveled together-you’ve never taken a honeymoon and no matter what other destinations you visit in your lifetime-you’ll never get this trip back.

Over-packing is one of the biggest mistakes honeymooners make when traveling and although I’m sure you really *do* need those eight pair of sandals, lugging heavy suitcases around the airport, train stations and ports isn’t much fun.

So, here are three honeymoon packing lists you can use for almost any destination. Add them to the general packing list below and soon you’ll be sipping Mai Tai’s in style … if that’s your thing, of course.

General List

Carry-on Bag:

-In a folder, keep all of your airline ticket confirmations, passport, visa and driver’s license copies and hotel and transfer receipts and contact information. Put this in the front of your carry-on for easy access.
- Small wallet with credit cards and cash (Divide your cards and cash so each of you have equal amounts in case someone loses their half!)
- Credit card company phone numbers
- Prescription medicine
- Book or magazine for long trips
- Camera with extra battery or memory stick
- Sunglasses
- Guidebook and/or destination notes

Pack:

For both of you
- 3-4 shirts that you can either layer and/or mix and match with your pants
- 2-3 pairs of pants or shorts (or skirts, for her)
- 1 light sweater
- 1 hat (weather-appropriate)
- 1 pair comfortable walking shoes
- 3-4 pairs of socks and underwear
- 1 umbrella or 2 ponchos
- 2-3 scarves that you can mix and match with your clothes (for her)

Toiletries
- Toothpaste
- Toothbrushes
- Deodorant
- Cosmetics/Make-up remover (for her)
- Comb/brush
- Hairspray
- Shaving cream
- Razors
- Contact Lenses and solution

Beach Honeymoon Packing List

For her
- 1 sundress
- 1 pair of shoes to match
- 1 swimsuit
- 1 swimsuit cover-up or sarong
- 1 pair of sandals to wear to the beach

For him
- 1 swimsuit
- 1-2 extra t-shirts to wear at the beach
- 1 pair of shoes to wear to the beach

For both of you
- Aloe vera
- Sun block
- Lip balm

*Leave beach towels at home. Most beach resorts provide them or you can buy them onsite and have a good souvenir of your honeymoon vacation.

City Honeymoon Packing List

For both of you
- 1 nice coat you can layer with other clothes or dress up for a night out
- 1 dressier set of clothes
- 1 nice pair of shoes to match

Cold Weather Honeymoon Packing List

For both of you
- 1 pair of gloves
- 1-2 cold-weather hats
- 3-4 cold-weather scarves
- 1 heavy jacket
- 1 pair of boots
- Facial moisturizer

Stale Cake Anyone? Three Alternatives to Saving the Cake

2009-06-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Your mother did it. Her mother did it. Heck, maybe even her mother’s mother did it … but, modern-day bride-to-be … you don’t have to.

I’m talking about taking the cake. You know … the whole keep-the-top-layer-freeze-it-then-eat-it-again-a-year-later cake thing?

I mean … gross. Seriously. Who wants to eat stale, freezer-burned cake? You know you don’t-and I promise you, he doesn’t, either.

But if you are like me and are a sucker for a romantic tradition, then tossing the cake might be hard to do.

Until now.

Here are three fresh alternatives to saving the cake.

1. You Don’t Have to Save the Cake to Eat It, too.
So what did you choose? White cake with fresh strawberry filling? Chocolate and raspberry? Italian cream? (All three!) Well no worries. With a little advance planning you can recreate your wedding cake from scratch, and save freezer space in the process.

Here is what you do.

If you and your future hubby plan to live in the same area as your wedding, then getting fresh cake for your first anniversary is well … a piece of cake.

Just call the baker a month or so in advance and ask her for the smallest cake possible. Better yet, plan this when you order your wedding cake. Your baker can get you on the books and you’ll feel safe knowing your first anniversary dessert is taken care of. If she can’t or won’t make the cake, then ask her for recommendations or call another local bakery.

If you don’t live in the same area as your wedding, then improvise. Call a bakery, describe your wedding cake flavors and ask if they can recreate the cake for you.

When all else fails-learn how to bake. The Internet is full of cake recipes so choose one-or three-and get to baking. Get your honey in on the fun and ask him to help. It will be a romantic event the two of you can do together to commemorate your Big Day.

2. Pop Open Some Bubbly
My husband and I live in Italy, but got married in Texas … so, transporting frozen cake 6,000 air miles wasn’t really an option.

Instead, I ordered an extra bottle of our toasting Champagne and asked my caterer to keep it aside for us. I brought the bottle back to Italy with me and we toasted our first anniversary with the same Champagne and glasses as we used on our Wedding Day. It was a lot cleaner than melted wedding cake and the Champagne was fabulous.

3. Make Your Own Sweet Memories
Surprise your spouse and invite him to join you as you make some of your own sweet memories. Indulge yourselves with cake-scented candles, bubble bath and lotions and follow-up with romantic desserts, such as chocolate-covered strawberries, tiramisu or chocolate mousse.

Have you considered not keeping the top layer of your wedding cake? What do you plan to do with it and more importantly … why?

Four Steps to Making Your Own Wedding Ceremony Programs

2009-06-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

As I’ve mentioned, I’m a big fan of doing some things yourself when it comes to wedding planning. Baking your cake and organizing your flowers? Not so much. Stationary, programs or place cards? Oh yea …

Unless you are Martha’s long-lost daughter (or marrying her long-lost son) creating wedding-worthy programs can be a bit intimidating. But thankfully, scrapbooking papers and tools can be used for more than photo pages and memory albums and the Internet really is the bride’s best friend when it comes to wedding planning.

Here are four steps to making your DIY ceremony programs a piece of (wedding) cake.

1. Choose Text
And no. I don’t mean font styles or colors, or even appropriate wedding verbiage. I mean the first step in creating your own wedding ceremony programs is to choose the information you want to include. Do you want a simple ceremony program that includes the “who” and “when” of the day or do you want a more detailed outline of what your guests can expect?

Search the Internet for details on the various kinds of programs other brides are currently using. A great list of templates is available here and here.

2. Think Style
Ceremony programs range in style from ultra-formal to cute and casual. You will need to choose your program style to coordinate with your wedding day. A hand held ceremony “fan” might be perfect for a fun, outdoor wedding but will look out of place in a formal, church setting. Likewise, glam and glimmer would be perfect for an elegant church or hotel wedding but would look silly at an outdoor, garden wedding.

Always consider your wedding day style when choosing your programs-or any other element to your wedding. You want your wedding to look coordinated, not like a 2nd grade crafts project.

3. Find a Sample
Go to Google, or your favorite Internet search engine, and enter the words “wedding programs.” Instead of clicking through the websites that come up, click the tab for “images” and search from there. You will get a variety of ideas and inspiration for your own programs.

You could also look at the site where you ordered your invitations and see if they have coordinating programs or even look at websites you know you can’t afford and see how you can modify their programs and do them yourself.

The Knot recently listed details for creating five types of wedding day programs, complete with a materials list and detailed instructions. Other samples can be found on American Greetings website and Custom Programs.

4. Put it Together
To create top-notch wedding programs, you are going to need some time, some patience, some friends and some materials. Depending on what you chose, you will likely need the following items in addition to your computer and color printer.

- Scalloped scissors
- Hole punch
- Design hole punch (for example, I bought a leaf hole punch and used it to create leaves on my programs, menu cards, etc. I then glued card stock behind the leaf so a different color would show through.)
- Card stock (several colors and/or textures)
- Brads
- Ribbon
- Other accessories

I recommend purchasing materials to create a model program. Play with your font types, sizes and colors and experiment with different ribbons, bows or accessories. Ask your family members or friends for input or suggestions and most of all … have fun.

If you get stumped and can’t move forward, ask your local crafts store for recommendations or advice.

Did you make your own programs? What websites did you find useful?

Photo courtesy of TheKnot.com

Three Bridesmaid Dress Ideas Your Maids Will Love

2009-06-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

You’ve all seen the pictures-or, depending on your age and/or group of girlfriends, been party to-the tragedy that once beset bridesmaids across the country. I know I have … been party to, that is.

I have donned bridesmaid dresses that range from 1980s-style blue taffeta (and no, I wasn’t an adult in the 80s) to a two-piece foil-gold skirt and top to a clingy, bright purple knee-length dress .

And the sad part is, I did it without a question. You see, as the good bridesmaid I always was, I never questioned the bride when she selected our dress, told us which pantyhose to buy and ordered us to paint our nails in like-toned hues. It was part of the job.

Today’s brides , though are taking it easy on their gal pals and are offering color, style and fabric options I never had as a college-aged maid. And these options rock.

Here are three bridesmaid dress ideas your maids will love.

1. The Black Dress Idea
I’m in a wedding next month where the bride has chosen a beige and black color combination and asked the maids to simply choose any knee-length (ish) black dress of our choice. We could choose the sleeve style, fabric and fit. Since her maids range in height from 6’0 to 5’2 (that would be me!) I thought this was a kind choice and no one will feel frumpy or modest, since we chose the dress.

To infuse some color into her wedding, she asked each of us to choose a different brightly colored heel and accessories. She’s wearing red heels, the other maids are wearing yellow and purple and I’m wearing bright pink.

I think the end result will be elegant and classy, with a hint of youthful fun.

2. The Colors Idea
This idea is similar to the black dress idea but allows the bride more control over the dress. The idea here is for the bride to choose two or three colors she’d like for the bridesmaids to wear and then let them decide amongst themselves on the style of the dress.

My November wedding utilized the colors of the season and I knew I wanted deep, rich fall colors for the girls. That being said, I was open to which colors that would be. Since we started searching for their dresses more than a year in advance, we had the luxury of choosing their dress colors first, then letting the invites, stationary, linens and flowers fall into place.

I also knew I didn’t want them in matching dresses, but wanted their dresses to coordinate. In the end, three of my bridesmaids wore a matching chocolate dress with an eggplant accent and the other two wore eggplant dresses with chocolate accents. It was stunning.

3. The Color and Style Idea
This option takes the color idea one step further and lets the bride control the style and color of the dress the bridesmaids wear, but still allows room for the bridesmaid’s individuality.

Most dress designers now offer optional accents or colors for many of their dresses. As in the example below, the bride chose a knee-length dress and color and let the maids choose the sleeve style and cut.

Have you and your maids chosen dresses yet? What did you decide on?

How to Have a Semi-Do it Yourself Wedding

2009-06-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Martha Stewart, scrap booking, home crafts and do-it-yourself projects have all but taken over, so it is only fitting the wedding industry would jump on board. Want invitations? You can “do them yourself.” Want programs? No problem? Menu cards? Websites? Flowers?

Where does it end? And when is too much DIY, really too much?

I’m a big proponent of having a semi-DIY wedding. There are some things you really can do yourself and depending on your time and personal creativity level, you might even be better than some of the pros. But not always.

Here is a mini-guide to holding a semi-Do it Yourself wedding.

1. Know Your Limitations

And no, dear bride, I don’t just mean creative limits. It doesn’t matter if you were the master floral arranger in the international flower arrangers competition for eight straight years … you shouldn’t do your own flowers.

Flowers can’t be arranged more than a few hours in advance and you’ll likely need a large refrigerated holding area. Do you really want to worry about tulips and poesies? Or would you rather be relaxing with your bridesmaids, drinking mimosas or getting a massage and a pedi?

Same goes with
- Cakes
- Catering
- Photography / Video
- Band / DJ

2. Choose Your Projects

As you see, I’ve left tons of items up for grabs in the DIY category. These include-but are not limited to-the following.

- Invitations and Reply Cards
- Thank You Cards
- Your Wedding Website
- Programs
- Menu Cards
- Guest Book
- Table Cards
- Chair Cards
- Escort Cards
- Place Cards
- Children’s Activity Books
- Welcome Baskets
- Your Hair
- Your Makeup
- Your Nails / Pedicure

It is important for you to review this list and choose which items you think you can do yourself. I suggest keeping the same theme for your wedding day stationary, such as menu cards, programs, place cards, escort cards, table cards and chair cards (ie, either ordering them all or doing them all yourself). You will want consistency in the paper color, weight and texture, as well as the font style and color and graphics.

It is also wise to choose items that can be done in advance. For example, you can order a guest book from PhotoWorks months in advance. I’ve outlined the steps for creating this book here.

You can also create your own activity books in advance. I have a photo of the one I used here.

Your personal beauty procedures, such as hair, makeup and nails should be done as late as possible. If your budget allows, go with your bridesmaids and close family members to a salon the day before your wedding and have your nails and pedicures done. I also recommend hiring a stylist for your hair. There is just something they do that us “normal” folks can’t … and whatever that is makes your hair stay gorgeously styled throughout your wedding day.

3. Know When to Say When

Choosing too many DIY projects can add to the stress of your wedding and can be overwhelming, especially if you don’t plan them well. If you are feeling the heat, try to delegate some tasks either to your close friends and family members or consider hiring a professional to help you wrap it up.

Are you doing any DIY projects for your wedding? What are you doing? What are you hiring done?

Five Bridal Accessories You Can’t Hit the Aisle Without

2009-06-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Fashion experts say nothing completes a look like well-placed accessories … and I couldn’t agree more. I’m not talking about shoes and a hair clip, though-you know you need those. I’m talking about the little things. The small details that show you are well-prepared, organized and classy bride who is ready to strut her stuff.

Here are five bridal accessories you can’t get married without.

1. A Family Memento
Notice I didn’t say “a family heirloom.” Yes, yes … wearing your grandmother’s wedding brooch in your veil or tucked into your bouquet is a beautiful way to honor her, but what if your grandmother doesn’t have any old valuables?

Don’t worry. This must-have bridal accessory can include anything from an old photo wrapped inside your bouquet to a hairpin you remember your mother wearing throughout your childhood.

About six months before my wedding, I found my husband’s first baby blanket. With his father’s permission, of course, I snipped a piece of the blue ribbon and asked my florist to include it inside my bridal bouquet. It was a nice way to include his family in the wedding and doubled as my “something blue.”

Image by paparutzi via Flickr

2. A Nice Piece of Jewelry
For the record I am not an expensive gems type of girl. Like many women, I like a nice diamond ring here and there, but on a day-to-day basis I don’t wear expensive jewelry and I am against the idea of running out and spending thousands of dollars on diamond and platinum earrings if they are just for your wedding.

That being said it *is* your wedding day (and you are a princess) so if, let’s say your fairy Godmother insists on loaning you her glimmering eye candy for your walk down the aisle, then take her up on it. If you don’t have a family member or close friend who is dripping in diamonds, then consider renting one nice piece from a reputable online company such as Adorn Brides, where you can rent $3,000 white gold and diamond earrings for around $100.

3. A Bridal Veil
There is something about seeing yourself in your veil that really hits home with most brides. For me, I always knew I was getting married-but when my stylist placed my veil in my hair, I looked like a bride. Yet, some modern brides are considering forgoing this tradition and are opting to walk down the aisle veil-less. If you are thinking about ditching the veil, then just remember … this is the only time in your life you’ll ever be able to wear a veil-and pull it off. And nothing can make you feel more like a bride than a soft, flowing veil.

4. New Lipstick
… or blush or eye shadow or even lip liner.

More and more brides are trying to save money by doing their own makeup-and I don’t blame them. I did my own makeup, as well. But having one new item that you purchased just for your wedding will freshen up your look and make you feel more beautiful. Consider purchasing a new lipstick, eye shadow, lip liner or even a new fragrance for your wedding day. Just be sure to give it a test run before the Big Day.

5. A Great Smile
I know you have a million and one things on your to-do list, but nothing enhances a bride’s look like a great smile. Start using Crest White Strips, or your favorite over-the-counter teeth whitener about a month before your Big Day. You’ll only need one-to-two weeks for the strips to work, then you’ll have a beautiful, gleaming smile for all your pre-wedding, wedding and honeymoon events!

What other accessories do you think every bride needs when she walks down the aisle?

Five Ways to Stay Focused and Excited for Your Wedding

2009-05-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

Although planning your wedding is one of the most exciting times of your life, it has no doubt brought with it a little stress, a few more sleepless nights and one-or three-stress-induced headaches. Some days are glowing. You find a knock-out vendor within your budget, your dress fits like a glove and your bridesmaids are all getting along perfectly. Other days it is hard to get going.

I remember there were times throughout my 17-month engagement that my mother asked me if I was still getting married.

“You haven’t mentioned in weeks,” she said nervously.

It was because I had bridal burnout. But it doesn’t have to happen to you.

Here are five ways to stay focused, motivated and excited for your Wedding Day.

1. Don’t overdo it -at first, I mean. Most brides are thrilled to get engaged and want to jump feet first into wedding planning mayhem … but try to avoid this pitfall. Think of your wedding as a marathon (assuming you have more than six months to plan it … otherwise, that baby is a sprint and you don’t have time to lose focus).

Just like any successful marathon runner will tell you, you need to train hard (by being organized and informed) and set your pace. The same goes with planning your wedding.

2. Organization rules. (It really does! But what I mean here is to follow the rules of organization.) It makes sense that if you are organized with your wedding binder, you know your budget and-most importantly-you’ve given yourself enough time to plan your wedding, that things will fall into place. Although I definitely went through wedding planning dry-spells, I was lucky because I’d allowed almost a year and half to plan the event. I had that time to spare. If you plan your wedding far enough in advance, you don’t have to rush to the finish line … you can make a few pit stops along the way.

3. Get inspired. Download a theme-appropriate screen saver from American Greetings or create your own using a picture of your bridal gown, your engagement photos or a group shot of you and your bridesmaids. Seeing your wedding vision on a daily basis will help you keep track of your goals.

4. Divide and conquer. If you find yourself getting low on time, divide your to-do list into more manageable chunks. I created a one-page calendar for each of the three months leading up to my wedding. On the back of each month, I wrote a list of what I had to accomplish each of the four or five weeks in that month. It was comforting to look at one week at a time and it was rewarding to mark things off of the list.

5. Keep quiet. If you are really feeling the pressure, designate one day, a weekend or a full week (depending on how long you have before your wedding) as “NO WEDDING TALK” time.

Don’t check your wedding-related emails (unless an important vendor is at stake), don’t look through magazines or websites and don’t discuss the wedding at all. It is much like taking a break from work. If your wedding planning is starting to lose its zest, then step back and take a breather. You’ll return refreshed and ready to tackle the next thing on your list.

Has wedding planning stress affected you yet? What did you do to combat it?

Four Big Ideas for Your Smallest Attendants

2009-05-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

To have or not to have them … that is the question when it comes to whether or not you and your groom will include children in your wedding. Oh no, I’m not talking about the Big Debate on whether to invite them or not. I’m talking about whether you’ll ask those petite princesses to scatter your aisle with fluttering flowers or whether your sooo-cute-you-could-eat-him-up nephew should really be trusted with two golden bands.

For some women it is an easy call. They’ve always dreamed of being a blushing bride surrounded by miniature princesses … for others, it is not so easy.

Here are a few things to consider if you thinking of including children in your ceremony.

- “No kids-no way.” That’s what I said when I tied the knot in 2007. I’ve been to hundreds of weddings and I know there is nothing like a blue-eyed, blond-haired flower girl toddling down the aisle before the bride to steal her thunder. It was my wedding and I wanted the attention. There I said it!

- It is also important to note that no matter how well-mannered a child may be, standing at the altar for any length of time is a challenge.

If you’d like to include children in your wedding but aren’t sure how, here are four ideas that might help.

1. I worked a wedding once that epitomized innocence and romance. The bride had six or seven similarly-sized tots dressed in fluffy white dresses, with their hair professionally pulled up with matching red headbands. The magazine-quality photos were flawless and those babes helped set a youthful tone to her extravagant wedding. It was perfection. But what really made this wedding unique-was the quantity and likeness of the girls … fewer children or any variance in their size or age, would have had less impact.

2. Although I said “no kids-no way,” I actually reneged a bit. I adore my then seven-year-old nephew and couldn’t imagine leaving him out of our Big Day, but seven is a tad old to be a ring bearer. Instead, I let him stand with the groomsmen and-along with my grandfather-deliver the Catholic gifts to the priest. He felt important and since the priest allowed the wedding attendants to sit during the Mass, he held up throughout the ceremony.

3. If you have children you’d like to honor with a place in your wedding but aren’t sure they fit within the traditional age limits, then ask them to be your wedding helpers. Depending on their ages, they can help you plan the children’s tables, entertainment or even the children's menu. Older children can help you with DIY items and younger children can "play" with you at a pre-wedding "just for the kids" party.

4. If that’s not enough and you’d like them publicly recognized on your Big Day, then invent a place for them. If you have female tweens you’d like to include, add them to your wedding party and dress them in a slightly different style or color than your adult bridesmaids. Or you can honor children by having them formally walk down the aisle with their parents or a groomsmen, much like you do with your grandparents and parents. Be creative and have fun.

Do you plan to include children in your wedding party? What role will they play?

Photo courtesy of JPhilipson

When Do You Need a Wedding Website?

2009-05-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

With over 100 things to check off of your to-do list and money-grubbin’ vendors crawling from the corners needing more money, offering new upgrades or increasing the bill it is hard to justify new expenses-especially a wedding website.

I mean … what do you need one for anyway? Most of your guests already know your back story and do you really need to list your registry locations again?

Well, it depends. If you are wondering if a wedding website is right for you, then answer the following questions.

Do I Need a Wedding Website?

- Are you having a destination wedding?

- Will you have any out of town guests?

- Will you need to communicate with all of your guests via email or the Internet?

- Do you have more information to share with your guests than you can put on your wedding invitations?

- Do you want-or need-a place for the guests who can’t attend the wedding to leave you a note or message?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then you need a wedding website.

Why Do I Need a Wedding Website?

- If you are having a destination wedding, then the majority-if not all-of your guests will be traveling, staying in a hotel, eating out and vacationing in this new location. Your wedding website will serve as a mini guide for them to know where to stay (because you will book one or two hotel room blocks so your guests will all be together), where to eat (you should share your research on restaurants, bars and clubs) and what attractions they can look forward to visiting.

- The same rule applies if you will have any out-of-town guests. Depending on the number of out-of-towners, you will likely book a room block at a local hotel. You should also point your guests to the best restaurants and/or city attractions. Again-your wedding website serves this purpose.

- Depending on who your guests are, you might need to communicate with them via email. Many wedding websites allow you to enter your guests’ email addresses and send them mass emails with wedding updates.

- If you have more information to share with your guests than will fit on your wedding invitations-such as driving directions, seating limitations or potential parking issues, then you should have a wedding website. You don’t want to include too much logistical information on your invitations … it ruins the mood.

- Having a wedding website can be a beneficial way for guests who can’t attend your wedding to feel included in your Big Day. They can leave you a message, peruse your categories and look at engagement and couple photos.

Which Wedding Website Company is Right for Me?

Wedding website companies range from the very expensive-up to $99 a year-to moderately priced-$30 a year-to absolutely free. However, you get what you pay for.

Free wedding websites offer the couple a place to list their information, but don’t normally offer customizable color and font options or themed backgrounds. Your website address would be similar to http://yournamehere.weddingwebsitecompany.com.

Paid wedding websites offer a host of other options, such as a personalized url, http://yournamehere.com, as well as gift tracking, online RSVPs (which eliminate the need to mail RSVP cards and extra stamps) and seating chart assistance.

WeddingWebsites lists most of the website providers and offers useful reviews and customer ratings. It is a good place to look for ideas and information regarding wedding website companies.

Are you having a wedding website? Which company did you use? Would you recommend them to other brides?

Three Perfect Gifts for Your Almost-Perfect Groom

2009-05-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

If you have made it to the gift-buying stage of your wedding planning, you’ve already scoured through piles of notes, gone through check list after check list and revised your budget form more often than you care to admit.

Yet, one seemingly small thing or another always seems to creep up and add itself to your to-do list. That one thing for me was the groom gift.

See … I’m not really into bride-giving-the-groom a wedding present-and for the record … the vice versa. I think this dates back to the days when the bride’s parents footed the bill and the happy couple had little to do with their extra income than splurge on extravagant gifts for each other. But times have changed. With most couples paying, at least in part, for their wedding expenses, this tradition seems like overkill.

It is one more thing you, as a bride, have to do.

It is one more decision you, as a bride, have to make.

It is one more place you, as a bride, have to spend your money.

Yet, people still do it.

If you have your heart set on buying a romantic present for you betrothed, then by all means-please do.

If you are like me and would rather spend that dough on something else, then I suggest you have a heart-to-heart with your fiancé. (Well, if you are really like me, then you are marrying someone from another country who didn’t know about this American tradition, so you’d have to tell him about it, then tell him you’d prefer not to do it.)

But the bottom line is to talk to him, discuss your budget options and either agree to forgo the gift-giving or agree to set a spending limit.

That being said, there are some great groom gifts out there and if you and your honey decide you do want to be gift-givers, then here are three perfect gifts for your almost-perfect groom.

Image by mstephens7 via Flickr

For the Sensitive and Romantic Groom

Custom Photo Book

Sure you will take a load of wedding pictures-and likely pre-wedding, engagement-style pictures-but compile some of your favorite photos from when you first met, your first date or your favorite vacation and create a customized photo book-just for him! At Photoworks.com you can select your choice of sizes, cover, fonts and pages and design a book tailor-made for your main squeeze.

I suggest adding a few text-only pages, of a cherished love letter, favorite poem or the lyrics to “your song” and a personal note about how you feel to be marrying him.

For the Life of the Party Groom

Personalized Lounge Signs

There is no better way to start your life together than with a personalized (with YOUR soon-to-be new last name) sign welcoming your friends to your new home bar. This gift is perfect for the groom who likes to entertain and will be a prominent reminder of your wedding day.

For the Intellectual Groom

Theme-related Boo kends

If your future hubby would prefer to get caught up in a good book, then consider giving him a set of bookends for his office or home library. They can be displayed year-round and will be a constant reminder of your wedding day nuptials.

Are you and your fiancé exchanging wedding presents? What are you considering buying for him?

Four Places to Find Your Wedding Dress for Less

2009-05-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Let me guess. You have ransacked magazines, pounded the Internet and hit every bridal shop in town trying to find a less-expensive version of your dream wedding dress. Right?

Well if not. You should.

Did you know that buying your wedding dress online can save you hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars? Seriously. Thousands. I mean, think about it ... what could you do with an extra, oh, let’s say $1500 for your wedding?

Wow, huh?

But where would you start? Should you just pick a website at random and order your wedding dress without ever seeing it? Trying it on? Knowing your exact size?

Uhm. No.

What you should do is find your ideal dress. Try it on. Fall in love with it. Then, go somewhere else to buy it.

I know it sounds mean, but bridal shops prey on inexperienced brides who don’t know their options and prices for the same dress-even from one bridal shop to the next-can vary hundreds of dollars. I know. I did the research on my own dress.

But I’ll save you some time. Here are four websites where you can find your dream dress-for less!

Bride Couture
Vera Wang? Carolina Herrera? Jim Hjelm? Those are some pretty impressive names in the bridal biz and Bride Couture is selling them on their website for 50-75% off the normal retail price. You can make a private appointment at their store in San Diego or order two, three, even four dresses, try them on at your house, then return the ones you don’t choose. You will only pay shipping.

Bride Power
Featuring the same designer names as Bride Couture, Bride Power goes one step further and offers a gown-locator service. For $50, they will search for your exact dress and guarantee it for 40% off the retail price. If they can’t find it, you get your $50 back. You can also sign up for their Gown Notifier service where they will call or email you if your gown arrives (although this option isn’t guaranteed).

Perfect Bridal
Perfect Bridal is the sister company of Brides of California and is an authorized dealer for all of the dresses they sell. In addition to wedding gowns, they sell bridesmaid dresses, mother-of-the-bride dresses and accessories.

Pre-Owned Wedding Dresses
All of the dresses on this site are previously worn and sold directly by the brides who wore them. Many sellers offer a return policy and prices run around 50% off the original price of the dress.

This is also a good way to sell your dress-thereby recouping some of your investment-after your wedding. I know I’m selling mine-and in fact, I think I’ll list it with this site.

With any Internet company, you should do extensive research (in addition to the information I’ve provided you), look them up on the Better Business Bureau and ask for recommendations. I asked for recs from one company I considered using, and although they sent me a list of four or five brides to email, I could tell from the tone of the emails and the unnatural English writing that all of the emails were answered by the same person. I ran-fast. You should, too.

You should also read the fine print and follow-up with the company. You could save hundreds-or thousands-on your dress, but if it doesn’t arrive on time or you choose an unethical company, your dream dress could cause you wedding nightmares.

Eight Steps to Organizing Your Wedding Rehearsal

2009-05-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

We’ve spent a lot of time talking about wedding rehearsals and if you read this site on a regular basis, you know my opinion on the matter. (If you don’t read it on a regular basis, that is okay. For the record-I think they are a must!)

If you agree-or if I’ve turned you, convinced you or otherwise scared the bejeezes out of you, then that is great. But you might have a few questions about what to do and how to do it.

So, I'll help.

Here are eight easy steps to organizing your wedding rehearsal.

1. If possible, book your ceremony site for the evening before your wedding. It is best to rehearse on-site for about an hour. Many wedding venues and churches are open to the idea of a rehearsal and the time is included in the cost of your venue rental.

2. Notify all of your wedding party attendants, the officiant and anyone else who will play an important role during the wedding, such as readers, musicians and ceremony attendants.

3. Discuss your options with your fiancé and officiant before the rehearsal to ensure you are on the same page. Make notes of your choices and create a detailed outline for your attendants.

4. Things to consider include:

- Where do you want the attendants to stand?

- If you are having a religious ceremony, will the attendants stand the whole time, or will they sit during the readings, then move for the wedding nuptials?

- What will you do with the children? Can they sit if the ceremony is going to be long? Where will their parents sit?

- Who will open the doors for you?

- Who will notify musicians when you are ready to begin? When will they begin playing?

- If you are having a religious ceremony, will you and your fiancé sit or kneel? If so, where and on what?

- How will your attendants line up and which man will escort which woman?

5. If you haven’t already created a master outline for your wedding ceremony, you should! Here are a few websites that offer tips and suggestions.

- Forever Wed

- Two Oaks Wedding

Condense that detailed outline as much as possible for your attendants so you can distribute copies to them, along with a list of everyone’s phone number and contact information.

6. Once everyone arrives at the rehearsal location, call them together and distribute the outlines and lists. If there is anything specific you need someone to do, you should tell them at this point. (For example, I asked two of my ushers to distribute programs and the other two to present all of the women guests with a flower as they arrived. I also asked some of my bridesmaids to be responsible for paying musicians, etc. after the wedding and gave them the envelope and check during the rehearsal.

7. Your officiant will likely take the lead and instruct everyone where to stand and will walk everyone through the ceremony. Since you’ve already discussed this with him, you should be set. If you have any questions-ask him at this time!

8. Before you release your group, let them ask you any questions they might have, then head off to your rehearsal dinner!

You will sleep well knowing everyone is prepared for your Big Day and your ceremony will run much more smoothly the second time around.

What other things did you or do you plan to do during your wedding rehearsal?

Photo courtesy of What is in Us

How to Plan a Backyard Wedding

2009-05-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

Some of the most charming weddings in the world are the old-fashioned backyard weddings, held in a relative’s outdoor space or garden. They reflect youth and innocence and set a carefree tone for your nuptials. At first glance, this may seem like the perfect solution to your wedding location woes.

But think it through.

Here are five ways to determine if a backyard wedding is right for you.

1. Location Space
Is the backyard you are considering large enough for your ideal guest count, tables, chairs, tents, entertainment, ceremony area and food stations? Map it out before you commit to ensure the location offers sufficient space

2. Neighbors and Parking
What is your relationship with your neighbors? Will they agree to the late-night sounds your wedding will inevitably bring? You don’t want the police to crash your wedding and ask you to “quiet down.” Along the same lines, is there sufficient parking for all of your guests? If not, is it a problem you can easily solve?

3. Rentals
One of the best reasons I normally advocate using a fully-stocked hotel or banquet room is because the sheer volume of rentals you’ll need are almost overwhelming. Depending on the degree you want to transform your backyard into your dream wedding venue, you could need to rent tents, tables, chairs, tablecloths, napkins, plates, glasses, flatware, cups, serving platters and dishes, table skirts and lights. These costs add up-fast!

4. Weather
If you are seriously considering a backyard wedding, look into the weather predictions, typical rainfall and average temperatures for your wedding date. What will you do if it rains on your wedding day? Is the house large enough to accommodate all of the guests if you are forced to move inside? Is there another location nearby that can serve as a rain contingency location?

5. Bugs
Do you live in a mosquito-infested area? Will you be able to address the issue? How? Be sure to get quotes from experts on spraying the area before your Big Day.

Now that you have your mind set on a backyard wedding, there are a few things to remember. Here are four tips that are unique to a backyard wedding.

Invitations
Be sure your invitations specify that your nuptials are at a private residence. Include the full address and a map with your invitation package.

Cakes and Flowers
Depending on where you live and when you are tying the knot, you might have special considerations with your cakes and flowers. I was coordinating an outdoor wedding once in Orlando - my first wedding actually - and the bride and groom arrived almost two hours late. The cake was starting to melt and the entertainers were getting … well, restless. Be sure you keep your cake in cooler temperatures and select sturdy flowers that can withstand the heat and sun.

Photography
Ask your photographer to do a walk-through of your wedding location and discuss how to set tables, lights and backdrops to avoid unseemly shadows. Show your photographer where you plan to place large items and get his/her input.

Cleanliness
Be sure you hire staff to clean and re-freshen bathrooms and walkways. You want your wedding to look nice throughout the day and into the night.

For a first hand account of a $10,000 backyard wedding, check out the Backyard Wedding Blog.

Did you consider a backyard wedding? What other tips can you offer?

Photo courtesy of WukieGrl

Six Ways to Relieve Pre-Wedding Planning Stress

2009-05-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

You might have been planning this day since you were a child. You have always known you wanted a bouquet of brightly-hued tulips, a princess-style dress and your best friend - your only sister - standing by your side. The band or DJ debate was easy for you and you have said “Yes,” to *the* most perfect man walking the earth.

But still …

In the midst of all of your wedding planning glory, your glamorous dress-fittings and frivolous shoe-shopping it will hit you.

I’m talking about stress. Pre-wedding stress. The kind that strikes when you least expect it and appears in the form of uncontrollable crying, irrational outbursts, over-eating, under-eating or sleepless nights.

The wedding planning stress struck me in an unusual way. I was okay with the florists’ exuberant quotes, I dealt with fickle venue managers … but you know what got me?

The priest. The irony was not lost.

If it hasn’t hit you yet - you are lucky... and if it has, don’t worry. Help is on the way. Here are six ways you can de-stress during your wedding planning.

Basic stress management techniques include:

1. Get enough sleep.
You should aim to sleep at least eight hours every night while you are planning your wedding. You will need your energy for bargaining with vendors.

2. Get moving.
I know you are busy and the idea of adding another half hour to your fully-scheduled day seems impossible. If you can’t add a regular exercise routine to your schedule, then at least take the stairs, walk to your colleagues' desks instead of instant messaging and park your car farther away.

3. Eat well.
Depending on your wedding weight goals, you may already be controlling your sugar intake and eating more vegetables. For what it's worth, I’ve never been a proponent of stressful pre-wedding diets, but either way you should eat balanced meals and avoid drinking too much alcohol. Alcohol disturbs your sleep patterns, thus working against Tip #1.

In addition to the basic catch-all stress management techniques, here are three wedding-specific ideas to help you beat your stress.

4. Hit the Town
The Brit’s call it Hen Night, the Americans call it a Bachelorette Party but what I’m talking about is a good ole’ fashioned Girls Night. Invite your girls to join you for a night out on the town. If drinking and dancing isn’t your thing, then head to a local coffee house, park or mall. The idea is to get away from your wedding for one whole day. Make a commitment not to talk about-and try not to think about-your wedding the whole day and/or night. You will wake up refreshed and ready to get back to work.

5. Get in the Groove
… your groove, that is. You probably have a sure-fire relaxation technique you’ve used over the years (you just might not realize it!) To find your groove, think back over the years to your most stressful times and what you did to overcome them. Although I’m not much of an outdoors exercise person, my beat-all stress-busting technique is to head outdoors with my MP3 player and jog or walk as fast as I can. Burning the extra energy always helps me relax and I return to my tasks with a clear head and better attitude.

6. Talk to Your Fiance
Feelings of stress and light anxiety are perfectly normal. You are not only anxious about the outcome of your Big Day, but the significance and longevity of a “forever” commitment can be stressful. Talk to your partner throughout the wedding planning to ensure you are still on the same page. This does not give you the green light to monopolize conversations with flower selections or cake flavors-it is just a reminder for you to occasionally check-in. Knowing you and your partner have similar ideas, goals and expectations for your future will help keep your stress at bay.

What other stress relieving tips do you have for other brides-to-be?

Photos couresty of madalena-pestana and Geff Rossi

Budget Crunch: Seven Ways to Save Money on Wedding Flowers

2009-04-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Depending on when and where you are tying the knot, the average cost of wedding flowers can range from $800 to $1900-and that’s not including floral centerpieces or extravagant bouquets. But let’s face it. Flowers scream romance-and your wedding will be romantic. So what can you do?

As with other areas of your wedding, you might be able to save money if you:
- Get married in off season
- Don’t get married on or near a major holiday (like Valentine’s Day or New Year's Eve)
- Get married on a Thursday, Friday or Sunday

Still itching to slash that budget? Ok, then. Here are Four More Ways You Can Save Some Green on Your Wedding Floral Bill.

1. Shop Around
All florists are not created equally, hence the final bill between two similar florists will vary greatly. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a dozen times-shop around. Keep an organized account of what you are being quoted and don’t be afraid to share your lowest quotes with potential florists. Often they will offer you upgrades or freebies to get the contract.

It is important to ensure you are comparing equal bouquets and centerpieces. Get all of the details in writing to ensure there are no unpleasant surprises on the Big Day.

2. Stay in Season
It makes sense that seasonal flowers that are grown locally will be less costly than expensive imported flowers. Ask your florists or look online to get an idea of which flowers are grown in your area and which flowers will be in season during your wedding. You could save hundreds of dollars by not importing blooms from around the world. Here is a seasonal flower guide to help you get started.

3. Use Alternatives
Unless you have your heart set on a particular flower, look outside the bud for a less expensive alternative. Calla Lilies run around $7 a stem, while similarly-shaped Tulips are less than $3. Cymbidium Orchids can run as high as $60 a stem-ouch!-while Dendrobium Orchids are less than $4. Other less expensive options include Orange Blossoms, Lavender, Daffodil, Daisies, Chrysanthemum, Carnations and Ivy.

4. Do-it-Yourself … well, almost
While I am a big proponent of a Do-it-Yourself Wedding, I would never-ever!-recommend doing your own flowers. Everything else I’ve recommended for Do-it-Yourself-the programs, the escort cards, even the invites can all be done weeks, if not months, in advance. The flowers can’t. They have to be done at the last minute. Believe me, you will want to spend those last few hours of single-girl stardom being pampered, having brunch with your friends or relaxing in a hot bath. You don’t want to be stressed out because the bouquet you are trying to recreate doesn’t look like the picture you pulled from Brides Magazine.

However, there are low-cost ways around this. Look on Craigs List or ask a local university or horticulture school for a recommendation on their best flower arranger. This person will usually work for hundreds less than a florist who has high overhead costs and staff salaries to consider. Purchase your flowers yourself from a local flower wholesaler. You should place your order with the wholesaler weeks (if not more) in advance and ask the flower arranger all of the same questions you’d ask a full-service florist.

What other ways can you think of to save money on your flowers?

Photos courtesy of EricByer and boeke

How to Choose the Perfect Hairstyle for Your Wedding Day

2009-04-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

Many brides have a vision for their wedding day. They see a picture-perfect ceremony location, the ideal reception-the perfect man. As they progress through the wedding planning stages they start to envision the atmosphere of the venue, the glow in the air, the music and maybe the food.
They might have an idea of the dress they want and how they want to look but unfortunately, many brides really have to search for that perfect hair and makeup look. That isn’t one of the decisions that jumps out to them.

If this sounds familiar and you are searching for your wedding day hairstyle-listen in. Here are some tips to help you choose the perfect hairstyle for your wedding.

Brainstorm Ideas
Look through magazines, photographs and websites and gather ideas for your wedding day hairstyle. A few good sites are WeddingChannel.com, TheKnot.com and Brides.com. Cut out or print any pictures you find interesting and save them for your stylist.

Get Personal
And with this, I mean consider your hair texture. If you have fine hair that easily goes limp, a long, straight style likely won’t hold all day. On the other hand, if your hair is naturally curly and you are getting married in Orlando in July, then consider how that humidity will affect you.

Also consider which hairstyles look best on you. Don’t try to do something drastically different. If you have always had short hair, you don’t have to grow it or get extensions for your wedding. Go with what looks best on you and you’ll be happy.

Be Yourself
Many brides want to undergo a transformation for their wedding day. They want to look beautiful. Exotic. Glamorous. And that is ok. Just be sure that you maintain YOUR look. You want to be a more beautiful, more exotic, more glamorous version of YOURSELF on your wedding day. You don’t want the groom to wonder who is gliding down the aisle toward him, now do you?

Avoid Trends
A trend is a “trend” because it is a style that comes and goes. You want your wedding to be timeless. Choose a classic hairstyle that will withstand the test of time and your grandchildren will have nothing but compliments to say when they look at your photos.

See Your Stylist
If you have a stylist you are devoted to, then talk to her in the months leading up to your wedding. Ask her for her input and suggestions. Ask what styles she would recommend for your hair type. Carry your brainstorm photos with you, show them to her and ask for her feedback.

As the Big Day approaches, make an appointment to do a test run on your hair. Many brides like to do this on the day of their bridal portraits. It is a good idea to see how the hairstyle works with your make-up, dress and veil. Take pictures of your hair on this day-assuming you *love* it-so your stylist will remember exactly what she did. Be sure to get photos from all angles so she can easily replicate the look for your wedding day.

Have you selected a hairstyle yet? What is it? Are you wearing your hair up or down? Straight or curly?

Photo courtesy of mintyrtina

Last Minute Mishap? How to React to any Situation With Grace and Style

2009-04-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

You’ve chosen your attendants. You’ve selected a venue. You’ve interviewed dozens of vendors, paid your deposits and signed your X on the line. Your wedding is only a month away … what could possibly go wrong now?

I know. Thinking about what could go wrong on your wedding day isn’t what we’d like to think of, but dear bride-to-be … you should be.

Effective troubleshooting is at the heart of every perfect wedding and you need to be armed with the necessary tools to make sure your wedding is bullet-proof. What you need in your arsenal really depends on what problems could arise so let’s go over a few worst-case scenarios now and hopefully you'll be better equipped if any real problems arise.

Bye Bye Bridesmaid
You asked your best friends and closest relatives to stand by you as you pledge your love to your soon-to-be spouse and you were met with an enthusiastic YES. Then, somewhere along the line she quits. She gets tired, gets busy, gets preoccupied. What do you do?

IF SHE OFFICIALLY QUITS, you should graciously express your disappointment and let her off the hook. Don’t try to “replace” her. The fill-in bridesmaid will always feel like she is playing second fiddle and you’ll look like you are more interested in your wedding party matching than in your friends’ feelings.
IF SHE DOESN’T QUIT, take her to lunch and talk about it. Tell her you understand she has other things going on and assure her you won’t be offended if she can’t be in your wedding.

Shrinking Site
As sad as it is, many vendors will tell you anything to get you to pay your deposit and sign a contract. They’ll assure you their 80-capacity room can hold 130 people-with a live band-and they’ll worry about the logistics later.

If this happens to you, you’ll have to get creative. Talk to the banquet manager who will be running your event and see what options you have for expanding your space. You might be able to add an adjoining room, include hall space, reorganize your tables or offer the buffet or bar in a different area.

IF THIS IS THEIR FAULT, they will likely bend over backwards to accommodate you, possibly offering you free upgrades or additional space.
IF IT IS YOUR FAULT, they probably won’t throw in freebies, but they are still invested in your wedding and will work with you to make it a success. IF YOU DISCOVER this before you've sent your invites, consider reducing your guest list so you can still have the wedding you wanted.

Vanished Vendors
This is the worst problem of all because you won’t know until the last minute that there is a problem. The key to knocking this potential problem out of the water is to be prepared.

Call each vendor two weeks before your wedding and confirm they will be there. Call each vendor again one week before the wedding to confirm. Call each vendor again the day before your wedding and confirm.

I know this sounds like overkill, but trust me. Do this. If you never take another piece of advice I am offering you-CALL AND CONFIRM each vendor and appointment.

You should also have a list of their numbers (both office numbers and cell phones) and distribute that list to your wedding party and family. Assign different people to monitor various vendors. For example, ask bridesmaid #1 to be on the lookout for the florist. Tell her to let you know if the florist hasn’t arrived by X o’clock or ask her to call the florist directly to check on the issue.

IF YOU HAVE MAINTAINED STRONG COMMUNICATION with the vendors-such as calling and confirming for two weeks straight!-you shouldn’t have a major issue.
IF YOU DO HAVE A PROBLEM, pull out all stops and put your entire wedding “team” to the task. Your friends will come through for you in your greatest time of need … trust me.

What steps have you taken to better equip yourself to deal with last-minute mishaps? What tips do you have for other brides?

Photos courtesy of Conner395

How to Host the Perfect Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

2009-04-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

Since we have discussed the issue of holding a ceremony rehearsal and decided you do, in fact, need one - let’s move on to the fun stuff.

Historically the groom’s parents footed the bill for this post-wedding rehearsal meal, but since modern-day brides are tossing tradition to the wind-this is changing, too. As if the bride doesn’t have enough stress before the Big Day, she also has to weigh in on the Rehearsal Dinner... and if you are anything like me-you want that to be perfect.

Here are four tips to help you host the perfect rehearsal dinner.

Tip 1: Have Fun With It!
I’ve read that your rehearsal dinner and wedding reception should have a similar style and formality level - for example, if your wedding is ultra chic and formal, then your rehearsal dinner should set the stage by being more or less the same style. On some level I get that. On every other level-I think it is crap.

Think about it. If your rehearsal dinner is a miniature version of your wedding reception, how bored will your guests be on Day 2? And THAT is the Big Day. That is the important event. That is when you want everyone to step back and say “Wow!”

Instead, I say you should have fun with your rehearsal dinner.

My wedding was semi-formal and incorporated many aspects of my husband’s Italian heritage. We had guests coming to Texas from across the country-and Italy!-and wanted to share our culture with them. So, we hosted a Texas-style BBQ, complete with a line dance instructor and galvanized buckets of beer. It was a blast, the wedding party bonded and we really set the mood for the following day.

Tip #2: Plan with Care
Put the same attention to detail in your wedding rehearsal dinner that you put into your wedding. Be sure to create invitations and tell your guests how to dress. You will also want to plan time to formally speak to your guests, offer gifts to your wedding party and/or publicly thank your parents for their help. Shy away from serving too much alcohol. You want everyone looking fresh for your wedding.

Tip 2: Be Courteous
As I am sure you have been doing throughout your wedding planning process, remember to be courteous and think of your guests when planning your rehearsal dinner. In addition to your wedding party, officiant and immediate family members, consider inviting all out of town guests and other close family members who aren’t in the wedding. For example, my aunts were an enormous help to me throughout my planning and I thought it would be nice to include them in pre-wedding events.

Tip 3: Location Matters
Choose a restaurant that is close to your rehearsal location. You don’t want you-or your guests-to be forced to drive an hour for dinner, then drive another hour-or more-to get home. It isn’t gracious and your friends could resent it. You certainly don’t want those negative mood vibes carrying over to your wedding day.

Tip 4: Give it a Test Run
Okay. I know rehearsing your rehearsal just sounds silly but eat at the rehearsal dinner restaurant before the event and make sure you are on the same page with them. The worst mistake brides make when it comes to planning their rehearsal dinner is not taking it seriously enough. Be professional with your rehearsal dinner vendors and make sure they know your expectations.

The rehearsal dinner can be one of the most lighthearted aspects of your wedding weekend. Everyone should be in good spirits and you can relax with your closest friends before the stress of the wedding day hits. The rehearsal dinner truly sets the scene for the rest of your wedding, so take time to plan it with care, pay attention to details and give it the respect it deserves.

You’ll be glad you did.

What have you planned for your rehearsal dinner?

Photo courtesy of herzogbr

Think You Don’t Need to Rehearse? Think Again. Three Reasons Why You Need a Wedding Rehearsal

2009-04-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

Even before my wedding planning days, I was the go-to person in my group for planning events and helping with their weddings. I am somewhat organized-and that helps. I am also meticulous with details and well … a perfectionist.

I always assume a couple will hold a rehearsal before the Big Day, that is why I am shocked by the number of couples I have to convince. So just in case you are considering forgoing this wedding day run-through … here are the top three reasons why you need to hold a wedding rehearsal.

You Care About Your Wedding
Okay. I might be stating the obvious here-but you do. You really do care about how your wedding turns out. Why else would you spend your savings on a wedding dress and stay up all night combing the Internet for wedding-related news? You want the perfect wedding, don’t you?
Then, trust me. You need to rehearse it. Please do not spend thousands of dollars preparing for your wedding and not have at least a small run-through to plan for mishaps or misunderstandings. If there are going to be any issues, you want to know before the wedding … not during it.

People Don’t Know What to Do
I know this sounds mean, but it is true. People really don’t know what to do. Are you going to have your bridesmaids walk down the aisle with the groomsmen? Are the groomsmen going to walk out with the groom and the officiant? What about the kids? How do they stand? Where do they look? How do they exit?

And that is just the wedding party. What about you and your groom? Most people don’t have a lot of experience “getting” married. Yes, maybe one or both of you have been married before, but each wedding is different and the dynamics of each group change.

I organized a beach wedding once where the couple insisted they did not want a rehearsal. I begged and pleaded and told them these tips … still, they refused. The evening before the wedding, the bride casually asked me, “So … what do we do tomorrow?”

Agh!

We ran down to the wedding location and conducted an impromptu rehearsal. After 45 minutes we all felt better about it. The groom later thanked me for my last-ditch effort and admitted they should have planned a rehearsal from the start.

Get Everyone on the Same Page
Once your wedding day arrives, you will be in no condition to ask people for help, look up telephone numbers or worry about who is paying who and when. The rehearsal is the perfect time to dish out assignments and share phone numbers with your wedding party and close family members.

I made a what was likely an overly-detailed list for each member of my wedding party and distributed it during the rehearsal. I listed telephone numbers for all of the vendors, my parents and aunts and all of the members of the wedding party. The idea was that if something came up and the flowers didn’t arrive, for example-any one of my friends could easily find the florist’s number and contact her.

I also distributed envelopes to my more responsible friends and asked them to pay the musicians, the officiant, etc. and asked them to help direct traffic, distribute programs and even to start the dancing at the reception.

Not sure how to organize your wedding rehearsal? Don’t worry … we will get to that in the coming weeks.

Are you planning to have a wedding rehearsal? What were your motivations? If not ... WHY?

Photo courtesy of Paul Chenoweth

Four Ways to Show Your Creativity at Your Wedding

2009-04-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

Long gone are the days of cookie-cutter weddings with white roses, tulle-tied chairs and assorted mints and nuts. Today’s brides are getting creative. And with more options than ever, it's easy to kick your creativity up a notch and inject a bit of fun flavor into your wedding day.

Not sure where to start?

I’ll help.

Here are four ways you can be creative with your wedding.

1. Accessories
I went to a high-school sweetheart wedding once where all of the bride’s attendants pranced down the aisle wearing a candy ring pop on their left hand. It was fun and youthful and reflected the couple’s jovial nature.

At another wedding, the bride wore an elegant floor-length white dress, but when she knelt for the marital blessing, bright red shoes peeked out from beneath her hem. It was a fun surprise for the guests and it showed the bride’s fun side.

Keeping with the shoe theme, choose a variety of rainbow shades and ask your attendants to each wear a different color sandal. Keep in mind, this only works if your wedding colors are basic and if the girls are wearing a simple solid dress, such as black or brown.

Not into mix-match shoes? Then how about having your toes painted in a bright blue hue to accommodate your something blue. Take it a step further and have your attendants paint their nails, as well.

2. Attendants
We’ve listed ways you can be creative when popping the question to your wedding attendants … but here is one more idea.

I was recently invited to be in the “wedding posse” for one of my closest friends. She created cards for each of us, glued our faces onto the most tragic bridesmaid dresses she could find and tied them together with ribbon and accessories. They were a wonderful souvenir for each of us and they showcased the bride’s creative talents. If you want to see how she made them, read up on it here.

3. Stationery
In keeping with the creative stationery theme, let’s quickly brainstorm all of the paper materials you need for your Big Day.

- Save the Dates
- Invitations
- Reply Cards
- Thank You Cards
- Programs
- Menu Cards
- Table Cards
- Escort Cards
- Place Cards

Now … surely with all of those stationery items we can get creative.

First of all, look through magazines and websites for some of your favorite ideas and think of ways you can reproduce those yourself. You can print cards such as place cards, escort cards, menu cards or programs at home then add theme-appropriate embellishments. This will be a fun project for you and your friends and your guests will think you spent a fortune.

4. Extras
I always say the success is in the details, so think of other ways you can do something new-something your guests haven’t seen before. In each element of my wedding, I asked myself what I could do that would be different.

One of the best things I created was a personalized wedding day activity book for the kiddos. I placed one at each child’s seat, along with a napkin full of colored pencils and an Italian chocolate “Surprise” egg. The kids loved them-in fact, several parents were caught playing along, as well.

What are some of the most creative things you’ve seen at weddings? What do you hope to do to make your wedding more unique?

Photos courtesy of Andrea Unplugged and wedding pictures from CMoore at My Bella Vita

Four Steps to Choosing the Perfect Wedding Dress

2009-04-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

On this day-possibly more than any other day in your life-you want to look perfect. You want the perfect hair. The perfect face. The perfect dress.

I know. I’ve been there.

They say the average bride tries on 20 dresses before making her choice. Me? I tried on 220. At least. Then I went back to square one. Seriously. That first little square picture I had plucked from the very first wedding magazine I read on my very first wedding information-gathering exploration.

But it was a process. A process many of us have to go through in order to get that perfect wedding dress. And so I'll share ...

Here are four tips to help you choose your perfect wedding dress.

1. Know Your Style
As we’ve discussed, knowing your wedding style will go a long way in helping you plan the perfect day. Same goes for your dress. If you are planning an elegant sit-down dinner, followed by a night of dancing and sipping champagne, you’ll be better off with a long, formal dress. On the other hand, if you are planning an afternoon lunch reception to follow your noon-time nuptials, a knee-length dress will better suit your style.

2. Choose Your Look
Do you want to be a sexy bride? An elegant bride? A blushing, youthful bride? Yes, technically you can be all three, but knowing the look you want will help you choose your dress.

I had narrowed my decision to two dresses. A soft-pink glimmering princess dress and an exotic, tight-waist bombshell dress. I couldn't choose and went back and forth between the two for days. Finally, the salesperson asked me a simple question, “Do you want to be sexy or do you want to look innocent?”

Simple enough. The choice was made.

3. Brainstorm Dresses
After your know your wedding day style and bridal look-start brainstorming. Search everywhere for wedding dresses. With the new color infusion wedding dresses are seeing these days, there is no longer a reason for brides to limit themselves to bridal salons. Seriously. Look everywhere. You might not find the dress you want on Craig’s List, but you might get an idea of where to look next.

Pull all of the pictures of the dresses you like and look for similarities. Are you choosing all ball gowns? Do all of the dresses have a hint of color? Are they slim, short or traditional?

4. Try Them On
After you have taken notice of the type of dress you are attracted to-get to the nearest shop and try them on. You may have loved those empire-line dresses but hate how they look on you. Try on several dresses with the same shape before you mark something off of your list. Try on anything the salesperson-or your mom, or your sister or your best friend-brings you. You never know what might change your mind.

Be sure to take a nice pair of heels with you to try on your dress so you can get a full picture of your wedding look.

After you have followed these four steps but before you have made your purchase, go back through steps one and two. Make sure the dress fits with your wedding style and look. This is an important step many brides overlook and although that might be a perfect dress-if it doesn’t go with your overall wedding plans-it isn’t the perfect dress for you.

Have you chosen your wedding dress? How did you do it? How many dresses did you try on before you found The One?

Photos courtesy of Notti Cabirian and Hopemeng

Wedding Traditions and Customs: How Much Do You Know?

2009-04-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

You know you need flowers. You know you need cake. You know you need a bunch of girls standing around in likely-clad clothes. But do you dear, bride-to-be, know why? Wedding traditions such as these have been passed down through the generations. We follow the rules often without a second thought and most of time without fully understanding W-H-Y.

Today, we can test our knowledge of wedding customs and see if we can uncover where these 10 wedding traditions came from.

1. Why does the bride carry flowers?
a. So she doesn’t have to take a shower
b. Because brides in the past carried foul-smelling garlands to ward off evil spirits
c. Because orange blossom represent fruit and flowers and are the world renowned wedding flower

2. Why do brides carry something “blue?”
a. Because it reflects purity
b. Because in ancient Israel the color blue denoted love, modesty and fidelity
c. It rhymes with new

3. Why do we say “tie the knot?”
a. Because in Roman times, the bride wore a girdle the groom got to “untie” after the wedding
b. Because if the bride can tie a cherry stem with her tongue, she is good marriage potential
c. Because men used to race to tie a knot in a rope and whoever was finished first, won the bride

4. Why do we hold bridal showers?
a. To help the bride relieve stress
b. So the bride and groom don’t have to buy as much stuff for their new house
c. From the days when a bride’s father wouldn’t approve of the marriage and provide a dowry-the village pitched in to help the bride get married

5. Why do we have a first kiss during a wedding ceremony?
a. Because in ancient times the groom had never kissed his bride and he couldn’t wait any longer
b. To make sure the bride knew how to kiss. If she didn’t, the groom could cancel the wedding
c. Because in ancient Roman times, the kiss represented a legal bond

6. Why do we eat cake during a wedding reception?
a. So everyone can share the sweetness of the couple’s new marriage
b. Because it represented fertility in ancient days
c. Uhm. Duh! Because who doesn’t like cake?

7. Why does the bride wear a wedding veil?
a. So the groom won’t see her before they are officially married
b. To protect the bride from evil spirits
c. To protect the bride from jealous suitors

8. Why do newlyweds take a honeymoon?
a. Because after all of that wedding planning they need a vacation!
b. Because in ancient times, the bride was kidnapped and taken away for an extended period in hopes she would become pregnant and the groom would get to keep her.
c. If the bride married someone her family disliked, they would take a honeymoon in hopes that the family would forgive them by the time they returned.

9. Why did people traditionally throw rice at the wedding?
a. To feed the birds-they are hungry, too
b. So the bride could collect it and make dinner on her first night as a wife
c. To wish the couple a fruitful and plentiful life together

10. Why do brides have a maid-of-honor?
a. So her sister can dress up in a pretty dress
b. So she can show her friends who she likes the best
c. Because in ancient Greece, a more experienced bride would perform this role and impart her wisdom to the new bride

How did you do on the quiz? What are you favorite wedding traditions? Which answers surprised you?

Answers: 1)B&C; 2)A&B; 3)A; 4)C; 5)C; 6)B; 7)A,B,C; 8)B&C; 9)C; 10)C

Who Speaks When? A Mini-Guide to Wedding Day Speeches

2009-04-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

Tap, tap, tap …

Uhm … can you hear me? Can you hear me?

Is this thing on?

Public speaking is one of the most common phobias in the world, yet at some point or another-like your wedding, for instance-people will need to speak.

And this can get scary.

The bride is worried about who speaks when, the speakers are worried about what to say and the guests are worried the bride chose too many speakers and that the speakers will speak too long.

Agh! What should you do?

First, take a deep breath, have a sip of water and imagine everyone around you is naked … feel better?

Now here is a mini-guide to wedding day speeches.

Rehearsal Dinner

1. It is common for the person who is hosting the rehearsal dinner to welcome the guests, say a few words about the couple and mention the uniting of two families. Traditionally this was the groom’s father, but recently the task has fallen to the groom, the bride or another close family member or friend.

This speech is given after everyone is seated and has a glass of their preferred toasting beverage.

2. Sometimes other parents or honor attendants (your maid of honor and best man) prefer to speak at the rehearsal dinner instead of at the wedding reception. This is a personal choice, and a good one, I think if they won’t be speaking at the wedding –you don’t want the same people speaking at both events.

These speeches can be given following the first course or in the middle of dinner, after everyone has begun eating.

3. Since this is normally a casual affair, the bride and groom should consider thanking their parents and wedding attendants and presenting them with gifts during the rehearsal dinner.

The bride and groom can speak just before dessert or at the end of the dinner as a final send-off for their guests.

Wedding Reception

1. The best man usually toasts the couple with a short speech just after the formal blessing but before dinner, after everyone has been served a glass of champagne.

2. If the maid of honor didn’t speak at the rehearsal dinner, she can speak at the wedding reception.

3. Sometimes the father-of-the-bride, or whoever is hosting the event, will speak.

Both the maid of honor and the father-of-the-bride (and additional speeches) can be done in one of several ways.

- The speeches can be given immediately following the best man’s speech.

- The speeches can be given after everyone has been served (or served themselves dinner) and is seated.

- The speeches can be delivered between courses (for a formal dinner).

I prefer to schedule the speeches throughout the night so guests aren’t forced to listen to 10-20 consecutive minutes of wedding speeches.

I also encourage brides to schedule the speeches early in the night before speakers can consume to much liquid courage and to conclude all speeches before the dancing begins, as it will be highly difficult-if not impossible-to regain control of the crowd.

Now, as for what your speakers should say or how they can cope with that public speaking phobia? Here are a few websites you can direct them to …

Free Wedding Toasts

Wedding Speeches

WedAlert.Com

Afraid of Speaking a Speech.Com

Photo courtesy of True Blue Titan

Four Steps to Choosing Wedding Day Favors

2009-04-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

Wedding favors are children’s party favors’ sophisticated cousins and are often given as tokens of appreciation to wedding guests at some point during the wedding reception. Back in the old days-aka when I was growing up-my mom used to look for her color-coordinated book of matches and take an embossed cocktail napkin home as a souvenir from the couple’s happy day.

My, how things have changed.

Somewhere along the way, Americans followed the lead of French and Italian aristocrats who gave their guests bomboniere, a small porcelain or metal box filled with candied almonds and voila … the wedding favor was born.

Today’s bride has limitless options, from frames to homemade cookies to imported bottles of miniature olive oil (that’s what I gave!)-your imagination really *is* your only limitation. Need some help with that imagination?

Well here you go. Open a new browser, bride-to-be, because today we are going to choose your wedding favors!

Step 1:
If you haven’t already, you should start by familiarizing yourself with your options.

My Wedding Favors
This is the go-to site for wedding favor inspiration with categories divided by season, price, type and a special *featured favor* section. If it is wedding favor-related, you will find it here.

Wedding Favors
Yet another website dedicated to favors, this site features a “New for 2009” landing page, offers accessories for other wedding-related needs and even ships overseas. Another great place to get inspired.

Wedding Chicks
If you are planning a wedding and haven’t visited Wedding Chicks, then you are behind, girl. This site is a great meeting place for brides and features “real bride” bloggers, destination wedding advice and tips for weddings in each of the 50 states in the US.

Wedding Bee
Another must-see site for brides-to-be, Wedding Bee offers Pro Tips, a forum of other brides and photo galleries and classifieds.

Step 2:
Think about you, your fiance and your wedding theme and try to narrow your options. For example, if you and your honey met while salsa dancing, consider giving a salsa CD; if you are having an Asian-themed wedding, think about giving Asian fans; if you and your husband-to-be are actively involved in a charitable organization, you can give a donation to that organization in your guests’ names.

Step 3:
Set your budget-and stick to it! Favors can get out of control and can make you miss your budget mark by thousands of dollars. Since you have already reviewed your options, look at your budget and decide how much you can afford to spend per person. If you fall in love with an expensive option, brainstorm ways to make them yourself or search for less-expensive ways to create the favors yourself.

Step 4:
Decide at this point if you want to do something traditional or if you prefer to give a unique favor. When I got married, I knew that I wanted something different-or I wanted nothing at all. Since my husband is Italian and he and I live in the bel paese, we imported Italian olive oil, bottled it into miniature bottles for our guests, sealed the bottles and applied our own labels and raffia. Everyone raved about them and they looked like they cost much more than they actually did.

If you want to go a more traditional route, you can purchase chocolate bars and create your own labels online. American Greetings has candy wrappers you can easily create or you can visit favorideas.com for more ideas.

Have you chosen your favors? What are you giving? Are you making them or purchasing them pre-made?

Photos courtesy of Creative Abubot, Fairy Tale and Corey Ann

Hot Wedding Color Combinations for 2009

2009-04-07T01:34:00.000-07:00

Every few years new color combinations hit the wedding scene - some make a splash and stay around while others sizzle … then quickly fizzle.

Are you the type of bride who wants her wedding to reflect the hottest color trends of the season, show her stylish side and make her friends envious with why-didn’t-I-think-of-that-color-syndrome? If so here are four color combinations that are HOT for 2009.

But before we get started, here are a few things to remember about your wedding color combinations.

- Keep it simple
Choosing too many colors will make your wedding seem unorganized and leave your guests wondering what look you were striving for; limit your color choices to no more than three colors so your wedding will be streamlined and elegant.

- Be decisive
Take as much time as you need to choose your wedding colors, but once you’ve made a decision-stick with it. I went to a wedding once where I knew the bride’s parents had paid a year’s worth of college tuition on food, rentals and decorations alone. The bride had hired a wedding planner. No expense was spared.

The problem was her color choices seemed to be deep navy and brown-those colors were everywhere-but her tablecloths were burnt orange. I am all about color accents, but in this case it didn’t work.

- Use colors liberally
Whichever colors you choose, be sure to repeat them throughout your wedding-in your invitations, in your wedding party attire, in your floral and centerpiece decorations, your cake, your linens … everywhere! If the bride from the above example had used burnt orange in more than her tablecloths, the color would have brightened the wedding and blended perfectly with her intended wedding day style.

Got it? Here we go.

1. Shades

Wedding color combinations for 2009 are all about blending shades of similar colors. Need an example?

Orange is one of my favorite colors, especially for a wedding. It's bright hue can liven up a room and is reminiscent of youth, sun and energy. But you probably don’t want orange as your only wedding color, now do you?

I didn’t think so.

What I’d do is start with a shade of orange, such as pumpkin or tangerine, then add peach, peach-orange or peach-yellow. The effect is bright, energetic and classy.

2. Blending Browns

As with the example above, stand-alone brown might not be the go-to color choice for many brides, but when done properly it can be elegant and chic.

Consider choosing dark espresso and pairing it with latte or cream (I am getting thirsty, here). Set off against a backdrop of sparkling lights, candles and a hint of gold this color combination is stylishly romantic and promises to give your guests something to remember.

3. Eclectic Eggplant

Eggplant burst onto the wedding color combination scene a few years, but trend-setting brides make adjustments with each year. According to The Knot.com, eggplant, cornflower and magenta are big and bold for 2009.

The key is to choose colors that have the same undertones. The particular shades of eggplant and magenta pictured on the knot’s website have blue undertones. This helps ensure your colors don’t clash.

4. Orange and well … anything

It is true. Orange really is *the* IT color for 2009. For spring or summer weddings pair bright orange with aqua or turquoise to create a tropical feel. Autumn brides can use deep orange paired with cream, light gold, plum or brown, while winter brides could choose deep navy, charcoal or purple.

Have you chosen your wedding colors? What are they? How did you decide?

Photos courtesy of TN Something Special Cake and Anne Ruthmann

Extra Events for Your Destination Wedding

2009-04-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Last week we hit on Destination Wedding Dos and Don’ts and I promised to give you the scoop on all the fun, extra wedding events you could host.

And trust me … there are a lot.

From bachelor parties to vineyard tours and everything in between, your destination wedding can easily turn into a destination weekend - and why shouldn’t it? You deserve it.

Not sure if you should include extra events, or even which events to choose? Don’t worry. I’ll help.

The number and types of events you host depend on several factors. Ask yourself the following questions to help you get started.

- How many days do you expect your guests to be at your wedding destination?

- How many guests are you expecting to attend?

- How big is your budget?

Now, here is a rundown on the most traditional destination wedding events.

Welcome Party
A welcome party is held on the evening that the majority of your guests arrive at the wedding destination. This can be something simple, like cocktails and appetizers or elaborate like a Polynesian Luau. If you want this type of event, talk to your wedding planner and ask about venues other than your wedding reception location. If you are getting married in Italy, ask if there is a vineyard or villa nearby that hosts events and have your welcome party there. You don’t want your guests to be tired of your wedding before the Big Day arrives.

Bachelor/Bachelorette Party
If time permits, couples can choose to have their bachelor and bachelorette parties at their wedding destination. Just be sure you don’t host this event the night before the wedding and ensure there is responsible transportation for everyone.

Spa Day
Many brides like to host a bridal luncheon or spa day before their wedding-and destination weddings are no exception! Ask your hotel for spa specials and ask them to deliver lunch to the spa for you and your girls.

Area Tours
If you are getting married in a destination that is known for a particular attraction, then consider hosting a group tour of that location. For example, if you are getting married in San Francisco, consider hosting a tour of Alcatraz, if you are getting married in Guatemala, consider hosting a tour to the ruins at Tikal ... you get the idea.

Rehearsal Dinner
In my opinion, this is the only pre-wedding event you should invite your guests to attend. If you can’t afford a big dinner for everyone, then go a less-expensive route or talk to your wedding planner for other options. If you absolutely can’t afford dinner for all of your guests, then host your rehearsal dinner for your wedding party and family members and invite everyone else to join you at a pre-set time for drinks or dessert.

Morning-After Brunch
Since you will likely stay in or near your wedding destination for your honeymoon, consider hosting a morning-after brunch for your guests. Everyone will enjoy discussing your fabulous wedding, talking about your new “Mrs.” status and sharing pictures from their digital cameras.

It is important to note that no destination wedding should include all of these events … that is wedding-overkill for you and your guests. Choose the events that best fit with your idea of a perfect destination wedding-and budget-and your guests will be grateful.

Also keep in mind that you should foot the bill for any event you invite your guests to attend. You can (and should) create a special package of information on restaurants, bars and attractions in the area you guests can visit on their own. You aren’t responsible for paying for this.

Are you having a destination wedding? Which events are you going to include?

Photos courtesy of voxphoto, thomaswanhoff and terralynne

Seating Charts for Dummies: How to Create a Wedding Reception Seating Chart

2009-04-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Think back to a time when you walked into a room, you didn’t recognize a face in the crowd, you had nowhere to sit, no one to talk to … you felt invisible. Right? Well if you haven’t ever been in that situation-lucky you. For those of you who have-you know it stinks.

You don’t want your wedding guests to feel that way, do you?

Well here is a little secret.

If you don’t have a seating chart … they will.

I can’t tell you how many weddings I’ve attended that didn’t have a seating chart. I realize it is a pain in the neck for most brides. I realize some guests might know a lot of people and want to mingle. I do. I get that.

But imagine your 86-year-old grandmother arriving at the reception and all of the seats near you are taken.

What if there are only individual seats left at each table and nowhere for your favorite cousin and her husband to sit together?

What if your friend who flew 400 miles to be at your wedding walks in and has to ask strangers if they’ll “please” let her sit with them?

That isn’t cool.

Classy brides know they need a seating chart and will bear that cross with a grin ... or at least, a martini.

Here are a few tips to help you easily make your wedding reception seating chart.

1. Start Early
I know people won’t RSVP early-or even on time-or even, at all … but there are some people you know will attend. Feel free to call close friends and family members early and confirm they are attending so you can get them on the charts. The same can be done with out-of-town guests.

2. Make an Outline
Well … sort of. Make a graph and pencil in where you will put your VIPs. VIPs include you and your groom, both sets of parents, grandparents, siblings and special relatives, and your wedding party.

3. Let Your Guests Help
Not sure if you should put children at special “children-only” tables or with their parents? Ask them. I knew many of the kids at my wedding would know each other well and would want to sit together. I also realized that my friends’ children might not be comfortable with new people and would prefer to sit with their parents. Ask your guests what they or they children prefer and seat them accordingly.

Along those same lines, assign people you know well to help manage tables. For example, when I got married, my husband’s first cousin from Italy flew to Texas for the event. I knew he would spend several pre-wedding days with other members of the bridal party and I also knew the priest would want to speak Italian with him. I asked some members of my bridal party if they minded sitting with the priest and cousin to make the evening go smoothly for everyone. They agreed and in fact, probably had more fun than any other table.

4. Assign Tables-Not Seats
If the idea is just to have a seat for everyone and to help your guests mingle a little, then assign tables-not seats. This is much easier for you to do.

You don’t have to worry about putting people next to each other and hoping they mesh and you don’t have to make individual place cards. Just create escort cards-a card that includes the person’s name and table number ... and voila! You are done. Visit American Greetings to create your own escort cards or check out Documents and Designs for inspiration.

For even more seating chart tips, read through The Perfect Table Plan site or go to Softlist.Net for free seating chart downloads.

Have you thought about your seating chart? Or even better … have you created it?

Photos courtesy of supermuch and kisokiso

Budget Crunch: Cake Cost-Cutting Ideas

2009-03-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

Wedding cakes are one of the first places brides should look to cut their budget, yet many fall into the wedding industry trap of priced-per-piece wedding cake slices and exaggerated wedding baker-egos.

Think about it, ladies.

It is cake.

Yes, it is an important cake, arguably one of the most important desserts you will serve in your life. (Feel the stress? I know I do!) But in the end it is just that … . Cake.

I served individual wedding cakes for each of my guests and had a large(r) three-tiered cake to cut and still spent hundreds less than my bride-to-be buddies.

How?

I’ll tell you.

Here are six ways you can save money on your wedding cake.

1. Shop Around
This may seem like common sense, but you would be surprised at how many brides find a bakery that has a picture of a cake they like and instantly book them. Any bakery can make any cake, girls, so the idea is to choose a cake you like-not a bakery-and work from there.

2. Compare Prices
Ask the bakery how much they charge and tell them you are shopping around. If you had a lower quote from someone else-tell them. See what they can throw in to make up the difference or ask if they will meet the price from a rival bakery. Be sure you are comparing apples and apples here, though. Many bakeries include the price of transportation, set-up and even cake stands in their price. Others don’t. Make sure you have all of the information before you book.

3. Use an Unknown Baker
Not all wedding cakes have to be produced in a well-known bakery. In each area there are people who make their living baking wedding cakes at home. Previous brides know who they are, can make recommendations and can tell you if their cake is any good. Call the bakers, have a tete-a-tete, ask for recommendations if you haven’t secured one and ask to try their cake. Most of the “freelance” bakers I met offered to make me a small cake so I could test their skills before I committed.

4. Get Away From the Wedding-Craze
This is the biggest rip-off the wedding industry has come up with, yet we are all “bound” by it. Or are we? If you are a gutsy bride, call the bakery and ask for a quote for a cake that will serve around X people and don’t tell them it is a wedding cake. If you decide to book them for your wedding-and they try to raise the price-call them on it. Ask them why it is more expensive and challenge their motivations. I read about a bride who did this with her limousine company and saved $1,000 off of her total bill.

5. Get Around That Priced-Per-Slice-of-Cake Nonsense
After the “wedding craze” hype, the paying-per-slice-of-cake thing is my second biggest pet peeve with the wedding cake industry. I know you are worried you will have cake-deprived guests if you under-estimate your numbers … but you won’t. If you expect 100 guests, tell the bakery you need a cake that serves 90. Most cakes aren’t designed for an exact number of guests anyway, so the bakery will round up … you just want them to round down.

6. Flavors, Fillings and Decorations
Ask your baker about the added cost of having a variety of flavors and fillings. Some fillings cost much less than others and unless you are set on having fresh fruit-one of the more expensive options-then choose something else. Your guests won’t know the difference … but your bottom line will.

Rethink extensive handmade decorations. These will add labor time and your baker will be, oh-too-happy to bill you for those hours. Instead, choose a cake that has decorations you can purchase, such as ribbons, bows or in my case ... beads.

Have you chosen a wedding cake and baker? How did you choose someone? What questions did you ask?

Photos courtesy of Shutter Ferret and Mandott

Four Reasons Why You Need a Wedding Program

2009-03-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

How many times have you been to an event that dragged on … and on … and on? You didn’t know what to expect, you didn’t know who was who and worst of all, you didn’t know when it was going to end.

You don’t want to put your wedding guests through that, now do you?

Of course you don’t.

That, my friends, is why you need a wedding program.

I know budget-conscience brides might have hoped to cut this corner and save a little cash by not buying wedding programs. It is ok … I get that. But I’m going to let you in on two little secrets. 1) They don’t have to cost you a fortune and 2) you need one. You really do.

Let’s tackle that second secret first.

Here are four reasons you need a wedding ceremony program.

1. Your guests will know what to expect
As I said earlier, there is nothing less fun than sitting through a ceremony and not knowing the main characters, the first act or the last scene. Your program guides your guests through your ceremony and lets them know what to expect.

This is especially important if you are having any cultural or religious customs that everyone might not know. If you are having a Catholic wedding, include prayers and directions on when to stand, sit or kneel. Your non-Catholic friends will thank you.

2. Honor your attendants
This is yet another way to show your wedding attendants how much you appreciate them. Include their names, and if possible how you know them. It will be a sentimental message for them and a fun way for your guests to get to know your best friends.

Also, be sure to include the names of family members and friends who are singing or doing readings, as well as a thank you to all of your guests for attending your wedding.

3. Be creative and tie in the theme
Your wedding program is another place where you can showcase your creativity, highlight your wedding theme and offer continuity to your wedding day style. I used the same papers, ribbons, fonts and stamps on my ceremony programs, menu cards, table numbers and chair cards. (Ok, maybe I went overboard, but I made a card to hang on the back of each chair with an Italian-language wedding proverb or wish ... I know, I know. Obsessive!)

4. Create a long-lasting souvenir
Wedding programs last much longer than stale cake and are easier to conserve than many wedding favors, making them an ideal souvenir from your wedding day. Be sure to set some aside for you, your family members and attendants who might not get one at the wedding. They are also great to show your out-of-town relatives who couldn’t attend the ceremony.

As for special secret #1 regarding programs not busting your budget? Don’t worry. The Internet is full of sites where you can easily create programs, then you add your own theme and color-coordinated embellishments and … voila! Your programs are complete.

Did you make your own wedding programs or did you order them pre-made? Why did you make that choice? Are you happy with them?

Photos courtesy of Lana Stewart and dydcheung

Destination Wedding: Dos and Don’ts

2009-03-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

With the cost of traditional weddings reaching the $25,000 mark, more couples are opting to head out of town and tie the knot in the romantic destination they’ve always dreamed of visiting. And I don’t blame them. There are a ton of reasons to move your wedding outside of your city limits and get married among the exotic backdrop of lush rain forests and azure waters.

Just be sure you know what you are getting yourself into, read the web for enlightening tips and destination wedding details.

To get you started, here are seven destination wedding dos and don’ts.

Dos

- Do ... try to get all of your most special people on board.
Even though I adamantly proclaim that major wedding decisions should be made by the bride and groom, it is important that the couple’s most cherished family members and friends are considered when planning a destination wedding. If a bride would love to get married in Maui, but doesn’t think her 85-year-old grandmother can make the trip, then she has to choose her priority. Likewise, if the groom can’t imagine getting married without his younger brother-who just lost his job and is feeling the financial crunch-then he should be cautious of asking his brother to travel to Europe for his nuptials. Remember, it *is* your wedding day, but you will likely be happier in the end if you have your closest family and friends near you.

- Do ... think of your guests
Be sure to book hotel blocks-with discounts!-for your guests and plan some events for them during the weekend. There will be more information on planning these add-on events in the coming weeks, so stay tuned here for more information and creative ideas.

- Do ... know the legalities before you go too far
Ever dreamed of getting married in front of the Eiffel Tower? Well … good luck with that. It is almost impossible for non-French folks to tie the knot in France. England requires a seven-day residency before getting a marriage certificate and Mexico requires local chest x-rays and blood work. Be sure you know the legal nitty-gritty before you get too deep into your planning and run the risk of a last-minute wedding mishap.

- Do ... consider hiring a wedding planner
Although my wedding planning pals would attack me for this, I normally recommend cutting your budget by not hiring a wedding planner. However, destination weddings are a whole new game. A good wedding planner can be worth her weight in wedding cake so consider hiring a planner to help with at least some of your wedding planning duties.

Don’ts

- Don't ... expect everyone to attend your wedding
Even the most affordable destinations can be a financial inconvenience on your guests. Realize that everyone can’t afford airfare, hotel or extra meals out and be a gracious, understanding bride when someone declines.

- Don't ... wait until the last minute to tell your guests
Save –the-dates are becoming increasingly popular in the United States for traditional weddings, but should always-always!-be sent for a destination wedding. If you can’t afford to mail expensive save-the-date cards, then send an e-card save-the-date. The idea is to make sure all of your guests know they are invited to your out-of-town shindig in plenty of time to make arrangements.

- Don't ... forget to dress for the occasion
If you are getting married on the soft white sands of the Mediterranean, rethink those 3-inch heels. Be sure to ask your wedding planner or resort coordinator if there are any other limitations you need to know of as you select your dress, shoes and other attire for your groom and wedding party.

Did you have a destination wedding? Do you have any other dos and don’ts to share?

Photos courtesy of mark sebastian and gewel maker

Three Fresh Alternatives to the Bouquet Toss

2009-03-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

How many weddings have you attended where the bride corralled all of her single friends to the dance floor, lined them up like paper dolls and watched as they scrambled madly for a bunch of overpriced flowers that-if they survived this masquerade-would no doubt be dead within the week?

Was that fun for you?

If so, feel free to ignore the rest of this post, but if you are like me and you didn’t enjoy taking out the groom’s six-year-old niece or having that 19-year-old wrestling champ stomp her stiletto into your freshly pedicured toes, then consider one of these three alternatives to the bouquet toss. Your friends will maintain their dignity and you’ll look like the thoughtful, trend-setting bride you know you are!

1. Anniversary Bouquet

I knew I didn’t want a traditional bouquet toss when I got married, but I still wanted to do something with those flowers, so I incorporated the wedding bouquet with the Anniversary Dance.

The Anniversary Dance is when the DJ or band leader invites all married couples to the dance floor. After a few beats, they announce for everyone who has been married less than an hour to step off of the dance floor … (that is you!). He continues to increase the time until there is only one couple left on the floor.

My maternal grandparents “won” my anniversary dance and my grandmother was thrilled when I presented her with my wedding bouquet. In fact, she doesn’t like to show emotions … but a tear or two nearly escaped … nearly … I saw them.

2. Wedding Bouquet Presentation

If you don’t want to have an Anniversary Dance, you can present your wedding bouquet to a special attendant during a short toast or presentation.

Consider giving your bouquet to your mother, grandmother, sister, mother-in-law or special aunt. If you have more than one person you want to recognize, consider having a pull-apart bouquet that you can easily divide among them.

3. Break-Away Bouquet

This idea almost-almost!-won me back over to flower-flinging. Here is how it works.

Instead of having a bouquet that is all nicely tied together, ask your florist to prepare a “break away” bouquet. This is essentially several small bouquets that are lightly tied together to resemble one bridal bouquet. Before the toss, the bride ensures each mini bouquet is separated but continues to hold the bouquet in one hand. When she tosses the flowers, the individual bouquets break away from each other so more than one person can catch the flowers.

If you do this during your wedding reception, you will still have to call your single friends out and some of them will still walk away empty handed. Instead, have a quick get-together with your wedding attendants either post-photo or pre-reception and toss the bouquet to them.

Imagine their surprise when you toss a bouquet that everyone catches. Ask your florist to tie a special note to each bouquet thanking your attendants for their participation in your day, so they will walk away with a bit of your bouquet and a special thank-you note.

I know it will be hard-since you tell your attendants everything-but keep this idea a secret. The surprise will be worth it.

For more alternative ideas to the bouquet toss, read this article by Amber Dusick, author of Do-It-Yourself Weddings Blog.

Are you throwing your bouquet or using an alternative to the toss? Please share in the comments.

Photos courtesy of sotursiops and hbm

Love Birds and Songbirds: How to Have Fun with Your Wedding Day Music

2009-03-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been to what you expected would be a really great party? On the surface everything seemed in place. The food was good. The host was generous. The crowd mingled well. But something was missing. You weren’t sure what it was … but something wasn’t “right.”

If this has ever happened to you, chances are your hosts forgot one little detail that could have transformed their party from drab to fab.

Music!

That is right. Music sets the scene for any great event, from a child’s birthday party to your grandfather’s retirement bash and everything in between … including your wedding.

The Internet is full of websites offering suggestions for Wedding Ceremony and Wedding Reception music. Here are some of my favorites.

Our Wedding Songs
Our Wedding Songs lists 16 categories of wedding day songs, from ceremony interlude and unity candle song, to first dance and garter toss. Some of my favorites from their lists include "Another One Bites the Dust," by Queen for the bouquet toss, "How Sweet it Is," by James Taylor for the cake cutting and "Wonderful Tonight," by Eric Clapton for the last dance.

Wedding Music Central
Wedding Music Central lists dozens of articles and descriptive lists to help you get started planning your wedding music-or you can hire them to create your music lists for you. You can even sign up to receive a free newsletter-and a 10% discount-from their site.

Some of the best advice they offer is “what to play and when.” It can be daunting to try and decipher all of your musical needs. Read the full article for tips and ideas on how to best proceed but some of my favorite tips are to include:

- a specially-chosen song to play during your receiving line
- a family dance song just after the “first dance”
- a special song dedicated to stepparents

Wedding Wire
Wedding Wire lists a dozen categories of songs, including my favorite category, “Anniversary Songs.” The website offers a forum, as well as a place where brides can save songs, upload guest lists and seating charts and build a wedding website ... and the best part? It is all F.R.E.E.

Wed Alert
Wed Alert features over 1,200 songs broken down into dozens of categories and sub-categories, such as Style of Music (jazz, contemporary, country, big band, etc.), Ethnic Varieties (Italian, Jewish, Irish, etc.) and Group Dance specialty songs.

I am a firm believer that music sets the tone for your event and keeps the party moving. Since I was married in a Catholic church, my ceremony music options were limited but I still chose to have fun with the music.

Since my husband is 100% Italian-from the Bel Paese-we hired an opera singer to sing "Ave Maria" in Italian for our processional. We also had a long-time family friend and church member sing a communion song he had written with a fellow congregant called “Love is More.”

We had a keyboard player pounding live jazz music throughout the cocktail reception and guests entered the main dining area to Dean Martin’s “That’s Amore.”

The Bridal Party was introduced to the Right Said Fred tune, “I’m Too Sexy,” and we cut the cake to The Archies’, “Sugar, Sugar.”

I even had a special dedication before the Anniversary Dance to my mother, Jeanie where all married couples danced to Elton John’s, “Little Jeannie.”

To kick the party off, we did the Italian-version of the Chicken Dance and had the Italians teach the Americans the Tarantella.

Choosing the music was one of the most satisfying aspects of planning my wedding and I was excited each time I found a song with a new hidden meaning. So get out there and start planning your wedding music-you’ll have the time of your life!

Have you chosen your wedding music yet? What did you choose? Why?

Photo courtesy of azzaroni

Four Steps to Creating Do-it-Yourself Wedding Invitations

2009-03-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

In these tremulous economic times budget-wary brides are looking for ways to cut costs, pinch pennies and maximize purchases. And it isn’t easy. Prices are escalating, but you likely haven’t seen a pay increase or yearly bonus for quite some time. Let’s face it-life isn’t fair. It isn’t fair your dream wedding will fall in the midst of one of the most challenging economic times our country has faced in recent history.

So what can you do about it?

You know you deserve the wedding of a lifetime and you are your groom aren’t willing to sacrifice class for cash … right?

Well the solution to your wedding budget woes is in creatively planning and designing some key pieces that you can easily and inexpensively produce at home.

Wedding invitations are some of the easiest elements brides and grooms try to create at home. A quick online search will reveal unique, one-of-a-kind invitations that guarantee to announce your impending marriage with flair.

But they come at a price.

Designer invitations run as much as much as $5 each. If you plan to mail 100 invites, your invitation bill alone will hit the $500 mark and that doesn’t include envelopes, thank you cards or other necessary stationery, such as reply cards or maps.

I know what you are thinking … homemade wedding invitations? Hmmm … I don’t think so. But bear with me for a second. I’m not talking about an arts and crafts project your 10-year-old cousin could do in grade school. I’m talking about classy wedding invitations that look like they cost you a fortune.

Interested?

Here’s the deal.

Step 1:

Peruse invitation books, catalogs and websites and find invitations that appeal to your sense of wedding style.

Make a note about what you like about each invitation and search for similarities among the invitations. For example, do you like invitations that are tied with a small ribbon or bow? Do you like invitations that feature a photo of the bride and groom? Do you feel yourself drawn to bold, contemporary colors or do you prefer romantic scenes and scripts?

Step 2:

Look for Do-it-Yourself options.

Many websites allow couples to choose an invitation or color combination, upload text and photos (if they choose to use a photo) and alter the font type and size. I suggest you play around with various sites and invitation styles until you are satisfied with the result.

Keep in mind that you can order basic invitations, then add ribbons, charms or stamps you purchase at your local crafts store.

Step 3:

If possible, order a sample card.

It doesn’t have to be a personalized sample. By looking at the manufacturer's sample, you will get a good idea of what your invitation will look like and can play with various ribbons, charms or bow combinations and can try different stamps and colors.

Step 4:

Order your invitations and put them together yourself.

Many expensive invitations feature intimate details that make them stand out from the crowd. Don’t be afraid of spending a few hours … or days ... or weeks working on your invitations in order to make them special.

Have you ordered your wedding invitations yet? Would you ever create DIY wedding invitations at home? Why or why not?

Photos courtesy of zakwitnij and aus_chick

Why Wedding Reception Venue is Everything

2009-03-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

I know many a bride who accepts her glimmering rock of commitment, proudly prances through the next few months unfazed by her decisions and more or less lets the question of wedding reception venue answer itself. For one reason or another-which will forever be unknown to me-she looks at a few venues, accepts the answers the salespeople offer her and books a venue without doing all of her homework.

I personally believe wedding reception venue is everything and I think it is a matter many brides take too lightly. Think I am overly dramatic? Think again. Here are four reasons why wedding reception venue just might be the most important decision you make as a betrothed couple.

1. Location
Ok. Maybe this is a gimme, but the geographical location of your venue and its relative proximity to your guests is vital. You may have met your future husband at that glamorous resort four hours from your home, but if you honestly don't think your family members and friends can or will make the trip you might want to reconsider it as a possible venue … unless you want to plan a destination wedding and we’ll talk about that some other time.

2. Size
When I was engaged my mother and I visited a stunning banquet room that overlooked one of the trendiest areas in town. The entrance was elegant, the cocktail hour location was fun and exotic, the ceiling-to-floor glass windows offered the perfect atmosphere for the chic wedding I’d dreamed of for years.

The size of the room? Well, not so much. While the contact person told me the room would hold 200 people, my wedding planning instincts told me otherwise. Upon asking for further clarification, she told me that the room would indeed hold up to 200 people, but not if I wanted them all to have a seat and not if I wanted a live band and dance floor. It was hard for me to say no to this almost perfect venue, but since I had a good idea of my overall reception location needs, I realized this particular venue was not for me.

3. Atmosphere
In might be difficult-especially in small towns or rural areas where they don’t often cater to large, extravagant affairs-to find a venue that offers both size and atmosphere. I know. I grew up in a town like this.

In fact, most of the wedding receptions I attended growing up were held in a church banquet hall or similarly-styled room. The benefit to a large, essentially empty banquet room is that you have a clean slate on which to create your ideal wedding backdrop. The downside to this, however, is the sheer volume of materials, lights, decorations and manpower you will need to make the transformation. Keep all of these things in mind when you choose your venue and know that you might need to buy or rent an enormous amount of fabric, tables, chairs, tablecloths, chair covers, lights, greenery and other theme-related decorations to create the atmosphere you want.

4. Perks
Many people were amazed when I told them that the hotel banquet room I booked for my wedding actually cost much less than the traditional “events hall” a colleague had booked the year before. Although I was committed to using the hotel’s caterers, a side-by-side comparison of the two venues showed a bottom-line savings of close to $2,000. The reason? The perks.

Many venues include the use of flatware, dishes, glasses, serving platters, tablecloths, napkins and even chargers and candles in the cost of their rental. Others don’t. It is important to know what your money is buying before blindly assuming that a lesser-attractive hall is cheaper than a hotel banquet room or villa. Other perks can include guest parking or valet services, wait staff, dance floors or use of greenery and tapestry.

Have you booked your wedding reception venue yet? What were some of the most important things you looked for when making your decision?

Photos courtesy of Mikol_Ice and Sparlingo

Snip, Trim and Cut: Four Tips to Help You Narrow Your Guest List

2009-03-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

Think every guest doesn’t add to your budget’s bottom line? Think again. Each guest you invite means you have to pay for one more invitation, one more reply card and envelope, one more stamp, one, possibly two more dinners with drinks, one, possibly two more favors, additional table room, additional chairs or chair covers, additional cake … need I go on?

Unless you don’t plan for seating and feeding every guest, you will likely be concerned with how many people you invite, and thus … have to cut. American Greetings lists helpful steps for creating your guest list and here are four tips to help you snip, trim and cut that list once you have.

1. The Long-lost Friend Invite
If you haven’t seen someone in more than three years, consider giving them the axe. You might have been the dearest of friends in grade school, but you won’t have an opportunity to visit with them during your wedding anyway. If it is someone you feel you should invite, then call them and ask them to meet you for lunch or dinner. If you still feel a kindred friendship with them after you meet up again, then invite them. Otherwise … snip, snip, snip.

2. The Office Party Invite
Unless you socialize outside of work with your colleagues, consider slashing their names right off the top of your list. I know it can be a touchy subject, especially when they bring it up or ask you about your wedding plans at work. Tell them as soon as possible that you and your fiancé have agreed to have a small wedding and that neither of you will be able to invite friends from work. They might be hurt initially, especially if they feel close to you, but they will appreciate your honesty and will still be anxious to talk about your wedding at the water cooler!

3. The Mother-of-the-Groom’s Third-Cousin Invite
Although many wedding experts advise you to cut your wedding guest list into thirds (one-third for your family, one-third for your fiancé’s family and one-third for you as a couple), I disagree. I was happy to read recently that I was not alone.

Remember, this is your wedding. Your parents invited who they wanted to attend their wedding didn’t they? Well, ok, don’t tell them I said it like that, but do keep in mind that you want your closest friends and family members with you … not your mother’s former co-worker or your groom’s dad’s golfing buddy.

4. The Plus-1 Invite
Contrary to what many bride-to-be’s believe, you do not have to invite a guest for your single friends. When I got married, I only invited married friends, engaged friends, or long-term boyfriends/girlfriends. I made an exception for guests who had to travel out of state to attend my wedding (no one wants to fly on an airplane or drive a long distance and sleep in a hotel room alone!) and for single guests who would not know anyone else there.

Other people suggest not inviting children and cutting out all relatives past a pre-set “distance.” The important thing to remember is for you and your future spouse to be on the same page and to cut guests accordingly. They say what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger … the same goes for planning your wedding. Be fair. Be consistent. And get to snipping!

Did you have to cut guests from your guest list? If so, how did you do it? How did you deal with family members who might not have agreed with you?

Budget Crunch: Save Money with an (almost) Hometown Honeymoon

2009-03-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

I know this may come as a surprise to you ... but weddings are expensive! I know … you are shocked, right? As you may already be noticing, everything costs more than you thought it would and unexpected expenses seem to be waiting around every corner.

Bummer … I know.

Now, on top of the thousands you have to spend on flowers, photography and food, you have to choose a place you and your sweetie can go and celebrate your union. An Italian vacation may be out of the question, but you want to do more than get hitched and head to the local Super 8 ... right? You and your new spouse have worked hard in the days and weeks (and possibly months or years) leading up to your marriage and gosh, darn it – you deserve a honeymoon.

Well, here are four tips for how you can save money with an (almost) hometown honeymoon.

1. Do you live in a naturally beautiful or fun and touristy destination? If so, you can save travel money by heading over to that upscale resort across town or by staying in one of the famous boutique hotels you have always wanted to visit. Airfare is often one of the priciest components of a honeymoon, so if you can drive to your destination, you’ll save a bundle.

2. Do you have a family member or friend who has a breathtaking beach cabin, lake house or mountain retreat? If so, ask them if you can spend your honeymoon at their place. In addition to expensive airline prices, hotels are another major chunk of honeymoon change. If you can get your hotel either free or discounted, you will have more money for other wedding or honeymoon-related expenses.

3. So, your hometown kinda stinks and you don’t have any rich friends? Don’t worry, you can still have a great honeymoon without busting the bank … just look a little outside of town. I am from a small town in southeast Texas and San Antonio, one of the country’s most charming cities, is just a four-hour drive away. En route to San Antonio, you will pass through Gruene, Austin and San Marcos … all other great honeymoon destinations that I could have easily overlooked.

If you need some help choosing a location that is (almost) in your hometown, call your chamber of commerce or visit your state’s tourism website. You will be surprised to see how many interesting things have been waiting in your backyard.

4. When all else fails and you can’t find a fun hometown resort, free hotel or easily-accessible city or town, then bring the romance to you. Ask your friends to help you transform your house or apartment into a five-star hotel. Line your bathroom with candles, buy romantic flowers and stock your refrigerator with champagne. Turn off your phones, remove your computers and unplug yourselves from the world around you … if only for a weekend.

Have you chosen a honeymoon location? Where do you plan to go? Why did you choose that destination?

Three Wedding Themes You Might Not Have Considered

2009-03-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

We’ve discussed how knowing your wedding style can make or break your Big Day but brides who choose and adhere to a specific theme can transform their wedding day.

There is no shortage of fun wedding themes on the Internet. Favor Ideas lists 11 themes that can help you save money, Your Wedding Company lists 30 fun ideas and WedThemes.Com lists wedding themes they claim “suit many tastes.” All great ideas. But here are three more wedding themes you might not have ever considered.

1. First Love Wedding
Nothing compares to the innocence of a first love, so bring back the days of puppy love and paper Valentines with a First Love themed-wedding. Complete with bright, bold primary colors, this theme reminds wedding guests of grade school crushes and of the unending promise of first love.

Invitations
Choose invitations with the image of a young couple, such as Precious Moments stationery line. These invites are the epitome of innocence and are guaranteed to set the tone of your first love themed wedding. Model the reply card after a traditional children’s love note. (For example, “We hope you can come. Can you? Yes, No, Maybe.”)

Cakes
Instead of traditional wedding cake, serve brightly colored cupcakes.

Decorations
Think of over-sized crayons, hearts and a teacher’s blackboard.

Attire
Dress your attendants in brightly colored knee-length dresses that reflect the fun and innocence of your theme.

2. New Year’s Eve Party (any night of the year!)
Any night can be New Year’s Eve as long as there is fun, friendship and fireworks – oh, and champagne! Ring in your wedding night by inviting your family and friends to celebrate your wedding New Year’s Eve style.

Invitations
Choose invitations that evoke the lively celebration your guests can expect at your wedding. Consider including a champagne glass and bubbles and telling them that you will celebrate New Year’s Eve a little early this year. Make sure your wedding date is listed prominently on your invite. You don’t want invitation-skimming guests to miss the Big Day or show up on December 31.

Food and Drink
Your options here are limitless. Have a full sit-down dinner with several courses, host an all-night buffet or serve heavy appetizers for dinner, followed with a breakfast buffet post-midnight. Whichever food option you choose be sure to have plenty of cocktails and champagne to go around.

Extras
- Have a party hat for each guest.
- Drop confetti at midnight and play “Auld Lang Syn.”
- Ask your maid of honor and best man to give a brief toast just before midnight.
- Countdown to midnight and pop open another bottle of champagne.

3. Murder Mystery Romance
Surprise your friends with a Murder Mystery party turned wedding celebration. Imagine their surprise when they arrive for your “party” and get to see you and your future spouse tie the knot.

Invitations
Choose invitations that reflect the theme of your murder mystery story.

Food and Drink
About halfway through the murder mystery, invite your friends and family members to dinner. You can either choose to serve something that reflects the murder mystery theme or serve items from your favorite dinner menu.

Attire
Dress your attendants in character costumes and ask them to play important parts in the murder mystery show.

Extras
Give your guests a wedding favor that either echoes the murder mystery theme or choose “detective-type” gifts such as a magnifying glass. Have fun with this!

Are you having a wedding theme? What is it? What is your favorite wedding theme?

Personalized Thank You Gifts Your Attendants Will Thank You For

2009-03-05T00:01:00.000-08:00

I think it is safe to say I am a big proponent of pampering your attendants. From Day One when you pop the question and throughout the weeks and months leading up to the Big Day, you should show your bridesmaids and ushers how grateful you are for their services.

I know money is tight and you can't treat your attendants to free lunches or dinners or possibly even drinks when they are helping you plan your wedding. They know that and they don't expect you to foot the bill each time they are with you. However, sending them cards-even ecards-is a great way to boost their motivation and let them know you appreciate them. The last thing you want is an attendant who feels overworked and under-appreciated helping you at your wedding.

Most brides know they should give their attendants a thank you gift following the wedding. Some brides choose a one-size fits-all approach and buy like-minded gifts for each person. Other brides select individual gifts based on each attendant's personality.

I don't think one way is better than the other in regards to how to buy gifts but one thing is certain ... show your attendants your appreciation and do it with a thoughtful gift that will reflect your friendship.

You've probably heard successful business people say that everyone loves to hear his or her name aloud. That is why professional salespeople often repeat your name several times throughout a conversation ... research shows it works.

Well it also works with your friends. And what better way to say thank you for all of their hard work and dedication than with a personalized thank you gift?

The selection of personalized photo gifts available at Photoworks.com ensures even the most discerning bride can find something for everyone on her list. From mugs to canvas prints to woven throws your wedding attendants are sure to love whichever gift you choose.

Here are four of my favorite personalized photo gifts for under $30 each that I would have loved to receive when I was a bridesmaid.

* Personalized Photo Journal, from $14.95

Find a flattering picture of you and your attendant goofing off, hanging out or participating in a shared-interest activity (like playing tennis or drinking coffee) and splash it across the cover of their personalized journal. You can also create a jpeg version of a thank you note to include in the bottom section.

* Photo Coasters, from $24.95

For this gift idea, consider waiting until after the wedding and choosing a photo of the two of you together in your Wedding Day attire. They will be a fun conversation piece and a sentimental reminder of your special day.

* Photo Keepsake Box, from $29.95

Depending on how long you and your attendant have been friends, you might want to find an old picture of the two of you when you were younger. Pull out those old high school photos or ask his or her parents or spouse for other interesting photo ideas.

* Photo Wine Box, from $29.95

You can choose up to the three photos for the wine box gift and I suggest finding three different photos that reflect your friendship with your attendant. If possible, consider giving this gift at a later date and including a photo of the two of you at your wedding. This is a perfect gift for both the men and women in your wedding party.

What are some of the best gifts you have ever receieved for being in a wedding? Why did that gift mean so much to you?

Wedding Style: Three Reasons Why You Need to Know Yours

2009-03-04T00:01:00.000-08:00

You have style, you have grace and no one wants a perfect wedding more than you. I know. I've been there, too.

But there is more to a perfect wedding than choosing pretty colors and buying a beautiful ballgown. A perfect wedding aka, a stylish wedding, is one where all of the components come together to tell a story. Your story. Your love story. So get ready to choose the style of that story and plan the wedding of your dreams.

Not sure what your wedding style is? No worries. Brides.com has a fun, interactive quiz that will help you discover if you are a Roman-inspired romantic or a blushing Bohemian bride. IVillage has a wedding style quiz as well, or you can visit My Jean M and take their quiz. Heck - take ' em all-the more you do, the more ideas you will have to help you envision your ideal wedding style.

Go ahead and take them now. I'll wait.

All done?

(That was quick!)

So now you have a better idea of what your wedding style is ... but you might still be wondering WHY you need one. So, I will help you out. Here are THREE reasons why knowing your wedding style just might save your wedding.

1. Narrow Your Focus

I think one of the first things brides should do (after all the brainstorming and idea-gathering) is to decide on the style of their wedding. Why? Because it will save your sanity. You have seen the abundance of choices available to brides, right? It is downright mind-blowing. However, once she has selected her style, her options become more narrowed and she can focus in on the choices that best suit her.

For example, if you are a casual couple and you want your wedding to reflect the style of you and your future "Mr.," then you won't even have to look at the cakes that are topped with gold glitter or Swarovski crystals.

Knowing your wedding style will help you eliminate odd-fitting options and help you make the best decisions for your wedding.

2. Keep it Together

When I was planning my wedding, I read about a bride whose main responsibility at work was planning parties. She had a host of experience and envisioned throwing the wedding of a lifetime for herself and her future husband. However, she couldn't focus her options and the end result was a hodgepodge wedding she was ashamed of.

Her mistake was choosing everything she liked and not considering how-or if-the elements blended.

Knowing your wedding style will help you make wise decisions. As you progress in the wedding planning stages, continue to look back at your quiz results or make notes about the style you and your groom have chosen. This will help ensure each choice you make fits in with your overall style idea.

3. Set the Tone

Ok, I am from Texas so maybe this is just a southern girl thing, but how many of you have ever received one of those cute, laid-back, ultra casual wedding invitations (you know the type, like the ones with Precious Moments kids kissing or sitting on a bench wearing a cowboy hat) and assumed you would be attending a casual wedding?

I know I have.

You can imagine my surprise at showing up and seeing the bride in an elegant slim-fitting dress and the bridesmaids in long formals, with a full dinner and night of dancing following the ceremony. They just don't together.

Knowing your wedding style will help you set the tone of your event so your guests will know what to expect.

Do you have a style for your wedding? If so, what is it? How did you choose your style?

Budget Business: When to Splurge

2009-03-03T00:01:00.000-08:00

Savvy brides know there is more to planning a perfect wedding than selecting centerpieces and creating a menu. Weddings take work. In fact, some brides claim to have spent more than 500 hours planning their weddings.

That is a lot of time!

Although your newly married status might be reward enough, it would be nice if you could treat yourself to something special or offer yourself a bonus for all of your hard work.

That is where today's tip comes in.

Anyone who has created her wedding budget knows that unexpected expenses creep up and things often cost more than you anticipate. You may have started with a guest list of 200 but had to cut it in half. Maybe you wanted a limo, but have to settle for a friend's cool Vette. Or maybe you always dreamed of a fully-stocked open bar, but can only afford to serve beer and wine.

All of these compromises can get a bride down. I know. I was there.

My mother, in all of her mother-of-the-bride-wisdom, got tired of my compromises and asked me to make a wish list.

So I did ...

I made a list of all of my "dream" wedding components, things I'd always wanted or new ideas I wasn't sure I could afford. Items such as

- miniature individual wedding cake for each guest
- limo rental for the bride, groom and wedding party
- bridesmaid luncheon and spa day
- morning-after brunch
- old-time photo booth
- live musicians

These things could easily bust a budget and none of them is as important as say ... a wedding dress or, oh I don't know ... a marriage license.

However, they were important to me and I didn't want to give up on all of them. So I scrimped a bit and saved a little ... and then I splurged.

My list helped me focus my priorities and I ended up with 4 out of the 6 items I'd written down.

Let's see what items are on your splurge wish list and determine if they are worth your sacrifice.

1. Grab a pen and piece of paper and write "WISH LIST" across the top.

2. Fill in the next several lines with items you would love to have at your wedding, but aren't sure you can afford.

3. Get quotes, or at least an average cost, for each item and write it beside the item name.

4. Insert the list into your wedding planning binder.

Now you will always have access to your list and can easily keep track of your dream wedding goals. This will help you organize your priorities and will give you something to think about before you splurge for something that isn't on the list.

It works like this ...

If "video" is on your list and you know you can find someone for around $1,000, you can try to save that money on other items by choosing less-expensive options or cheaper alternatives.

For example, you can choose the least expensive baker knowing the $400 you save will go towards your video. Likewise, it will be easier for you to trim your guest list, shorten your cocktail hour or do your own make-up if you know the end result is an item off of your wish list.

So what do you think? Do you think a dream wish list will help you know when to splurge and when to save? Come on, I shared my dream wish list with you. What items are on your dream list and what are you willing to sacrifice to get them?

Photos courtesy of Quo Vadis and sparktography

Make Her Say YES! Ask Your Bridesmaids with Style

2009-02-26T00:01:00.000-08:00

We've spent a lot of time talking about the wedding party ... who to ask, who not to ask and what they should wear. All important topics, I must say.

But let's back up just a tad and think about how you can ask them.

Although many girls would take out their youngest cousin's 12-year-old daughter to be a bridesmaid, it is a tough job. If you have been a bridesmaid - you know that.

Bridesmaid 101 lists almost two dozen job responsibilities and ClassyWeddingFavors.Com says bridesmaids should expect to dish out up to $200 for the shower alone. Eek.

For this reason, I suggest brides pamper their maids every chance they get ... starting with Day One.

Instead of picking up the phone or swinging by your friend's house after work, consider throwing a cocktail party, girls' night or lunch date and invite all of your potential bridesmaids to join your wedding party at one time.

American Greetings has a wide selection of e-vites to set the tone. Choose a theme, either wedding-related or something that relates to all of your friends. For example, if you and your potential attendants love reading books and hanging out at Starbucks, choose a cafe-related e-vite and ask them to meet you at your favorite coffee house for lattes.

Here are a few other party themes that could help you pop the question.

- Martini Madness
Choose an e-vite decorated with martini glasses and use colors such as dark green, maroon and brown. Invite your potential bridesmaids over for a night of Sex in the City reruns and cosmos. Make a toast for them proclaiming how much they mean to you and ask them to be in your wedding party.

- Mexican Fiesta
Send a Mexican-flavored e-vite and ask your friends to join you for lunch at your favorite Mexican restaurant. Hand write a note for each girl and ask the waiter to deliver it, along with her favorite dessert (that you have pre-ordered) at the end of the meal. Who could say no to that?

- Girls Gone Goofy
Invite your potential attendants to a pre-bachelorette party bash by choosing a girls' night-themed e-vite. Ask them to meet at your house for dinner or appetizers before you hit the town. When they have all arrived, let them know how much their friendship has meant to you and tell them that there is no one you'd rather stand by your side when you say "I do," than them. Celebrate by going out dancing, to a karaoke bar or to your favorite pub.

Since you know how much work is involved and how expensive things could get for your bridesmaids, be sure to tell them they don't have to answer you right away. I suggest for you to insist they think about it for a few days before giving you an answer. You don't want one of your potential bridesmaids to get caught up in the moment and say "yes," only to tell you a few weeks later that she can't afford it.

Pamper your bridesmaids from the start and they are sure to repay the favor every chance they get.

Have you already asked your bridesmaids to be in your wedding party? Did you do something special for them? If so, what did you do?

Photos courtesy of Saquan Stimpson and Adam

How to Handle Would-be Attendants Who Didn't Make the Cut

2009-02-25T00:01:00.000-08:00

Ouch.

Touchy subject ... I know. But as we have said, you have to consider your personal wedding vision when selecting attendants and well, no matter what some people say you CAN have too many bridesmaids.

You know you can't-or shouldn't-ask your 3rd cousin, Jenny or your old assistant, Pam, but you also know they'd like to be invited into your wedding party.

What do you do?

I think basic standards of etiquette and the notorious Golden Rule apply in most situations and this, my friends, is no exception. You should always try to be a gracious bride and consider the feelings of those who might be hurt without allowing others to push you around, bully you or make you defend your decisions.

This isn't an easy line to walk, but here are 4 tips and suggestions for helping you reach the other side.

* If She is a Close Friend

Sometimes a bride might really want a friend to be in her wedding, but family obligations or a tight budget prevent it. The best thing to do is to have a heart-to-heart with your friend and tell her the truth.

It is absolutely vital you do this early. If she is a good friend, she might be expecting-or at least anticipating-you popping the question. Get the issue out in the open as soon as possible to avoid any uncomfortable situations or awkward moments.

* If She is a Close Relative

Follow the same suggestions as you would if she was a close friend. It might be more difficult, however if your relative wonders why some friends and cousins made the cut and she didn't. I never feel that a bride has to justify her choices, but if you think you should, then be open and honest with her. It is okay to tell her -if you feel you should-that you feel closer to "cousin #1" and that is why she was included in your wedding party.

It is a nice gesture to ask close relatives who aren't in the wedding party to perform a reading during the ceremony or be included in some other way. I personally think it is insulting to ask someone who wanted to be a bridesmaid to serve cake ... but that is just my opinion.

* If She Thinks You Are Closer Than You Are

This is tough ...

Tell her that you value her friendship, but you have to include your closer friends and relatives in your wedding party. However, try to include her in other wedding planning activities, such as dress shopping, cake tasting or scouting locations. *Do not ask her to help you chose bridesmaid gifts or to help you with bridesmaid-only activities. That is just mean.

* If She Asks You

I mentioned before that I had someone call me and more or less demand to be in my wedding.

That was not a fun day.

Since she luckily called months before I had asked anyone, I was able to get away by telling her I hadn't even thought about my wedding party. I later took the easy way out and had my grandma tell her ... not something I am proud of, but hey, she put me on the spot!

If I could do it over again, I would talk to her one-on-one and follow the advice I am giving you today.

In the end, no matter who it is or what the circumstances might be, it is never easy to tell someone she won't be in your wedding. Try to think of how you would want your friends to tell you and as always, let your conscience be your guide.

Have you had to do this? How did it go? What did you do or say?

Photo courtesy of Hessam

How to Maximize Time at a Bridal Show

2009-02-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

Weddings are a big business and there is no shortage of vendors anxious to help the newly engaged novice spend her dough. As we've said before, the list of stationery needs itself is mind-boggling. Throw in venues, caterers, floral, bakers, transportation and attire options and even a level-headed bride could lose her cool.

This is when a well-timed bridal show can save the day.

A savvy bride will devise a plan to maximize her bridal show experience, depending on which planning stage she is in - early planning or late-stage planning. Here are a few tips to help you create a plan, no matter where you are in the wedding planning process.

Early Planning

You will get the most benefit from a bridal show if you can attend early in your engagement. Here are three tips to help you maximize your time and get the most benefit from your next bridal show.

1. Collect Information

If you haven't been around the wedding biz in a while you will want to update your knowledge of what is available. Be sure to carry a journal or notebook so you can take notes and collect business cards and brochures from as many potential vendors as possible.

2. Register for Prizes

Most vendors try to entice couples to their stands with the promise of a free add-on, an upgrade or a free giveaway. Since you are in the early planning stages and likely haven't committed-or more importantly, signed a contract and paid a deposit, then this is the perfect opportunity for you to win some freebies and trim your budget.

3. Make Connections

Many vendors agree there is more to a potential client than how much money they plan to spend.

No, seriously.

Think about this ...

A popular caterer is regularly booked months-if not more than a year-in advance. They spend an enormous amount of time and energy with each couple and feel invested in that couple's success.

Since they are pretty confident they will be booked by someone, and hence earn the money, other factors, such as personality, character, likability and chemistry are important to them. Yes, it might be their "job" to cater weddings, but no one wants to work with Bridezilla ... trust me.

When you meet a potential vendor, spend a few minutes getting to know them. Listen to what they are saying and try to find common ground by sharing interesting facts about you or your fiancee. When you call them to get a quote, remind them of who you are by mentioning your common interests or by reminding them of something the two of you talked about.

This works!

My husband and I own a bed and breakfast overseas. I reminded everyone I contacted that I was the bride who lived in Italy they had met at the bridal show in Beaumont, Texas in January.

I'm convinced I saved $150 off entertainment, received a free upgrade on our Old Time Photo Booth and received between $800-$1,000 in free alcohol upgrades from our caterer, only because they wanted to work with us.

Late Planning

It is important for couples who attend bridal shows late in their engagement to have a clear set of goals established before they go. If you have already booked a venue and photographer, then politely skip those tables. Focus only on what you need. Time is of the essence!

It is okay to have tunnel-vision at this point ... in fact, I think you should. Otherwise, you will likely waste valuable time you need to be spending elsewhere.

It is no secret that bridal shows are fun and recently betrothed couples can get valuable information, free upgrades and innovative ideas, but bridal shows can also be overwhelming. So be sure to maximize your time by focusing on the decisions you need to make and make bridal shows work for you.

What are some of the best ideas you have found at bridal shows

Photo courtesy of Allegro Photography

Unique Wedding Transportation

2009-02-19T06:17:00.000-08:00

So it's your wedding day and driving up in your Ford or even your BMW just isn't special enough for your wedding day. You will find that most wedding couples choose to rent a limo - which can be a great option. It is formal and usually has enough room for a few of your wedding attendants to join you.

But what has really become popular is limo buses. These are "tricked out" buses that can have everything from a full bar to strobe lights to state-of-the-art sound systems. Now these are great if you are looking for transportation for all of your attendants and want to have a more fun party atmosphere. However, some people aren't looking for what everyone else is doing and/or really want to share some special time with their new spouse after the wedding. For those wedding couples, here is a few suggestions on fun, unique wedding transportation.

Trolley
A lot of major cities now have a regular trolley system that runs throughout the city. For your wedding day, inquire about renting one to have it transport you and your attendants to your wedding reception location. These trolleys can also make for great drive-by pictures with you and your attendants standing on the edges.

Boat
I think that this is a given if you are having your wedding reception near a pond, river, lake or ocean. What is great about choosing a location is using the elements and integrating them into your wedding. This is a perfect way to do that. Rent a boat from a local marina and have them drive you into "port" with all of your guests waiting to greet you. Plus, if you choose to only have you and your new spouse, use that time out in the middle of the water to really enjoy one another.

Old-Fashioned Car
I love when couples choose to use an old-fashioned car as their wedding transportation. It always brings you back to a different era. Most wedding couples will find that there are a lot of places to rent an old-fashioned car, some may even know someone who owns one. One way in particular is to keep an eye out for old-fashioned car shows. I swear in the summer I see 10 or more. Take a stroll through the show and inquire with the owners if they rent out the cars for wedding transportation.

Helicopter
For me this seems like a bit over the top, but people do it. I guess if you have the money, why not arrive at your wedding reception in grand fashion? Call your local airfield and inquire about local helicopter companies and make sure that your reception venue and the helicopter company work together.

All of these are great ideas, but in the end the wedding couple has to choose one that fits into their budget and meets their needs. If they really want to take the time in between the ceremony and reception to spend quality alone time together, choose a smaller town car or a boat. If you are looking to have fun and enjoy that time with your friends go for a limo bus or a trolley. Whatever you choose, take that time to really celebrate with each other.

Have you seen any other interesting forms of wedding transportation?